Random Fail: First World Problems

[Zetanio]

I'm glad my dog isn't a jerk in bed. Worst thing I have to worry about from her is the face licking in the morning when she decides it's time to get up and go outside.

Dogs are the superior animal.

[Krazy]

Was having a nice day off, nice big breakfast. Then I get a text asking me if I'm coming in today. I'm like wtf I'm off. NOPE.

Sent from my Nexus 6P using Tapatalk

[Melena]

TFW you find out in parts of the bay area, a family of four making less than 105k a year is considered low income and can now qualify for housing assistance.

[dasva]

TFW you find out in parts of the bay area, a family of four making less than 105k a year is considered low income and can now qualify for housing assistance.

Wait a second does that mean the median household income for a family of 4 in that area is around 200k? Cause holy heck

[Melena]

Wait a second does that mean the median household income for a family of 4 in that area is around 200k? Cause holy heck

http://www.ktvu.com/news/250377281-story

[Anoat]

TFW you find out in parts of the bay area, a family of four making less than 105k a year is considered low income and can now qualify for housing assistance.

I just read an article this morning interviewing an anonymous Twitter developer living in San Francisco, he said he makes $160k a year and he and his wife and two kids are barely making ends meet. Renting a 2 bedroom apartment cost them $4800 a month.

[Melena]

Yup, that's San Francisco. Astylla and I live about 15-20 miles away from San Francisco, renting a 2 bedroom apartment built in the 60's with really no amenities for just under 2k a month. In newer communities, it would be closer to 3k.

[Zetanio]

GF and I just a long-term relationship talk that pretty much ended things. She wants kids, I don't. We were discussing our upcoming trip to Paris and then it suddenly ended up being something completely different. She went home. We're both kind of a mess. I'm completely in love with her. This is terrible.

[Astylla]

GF and I just a long-term relationship talk that pretty much ended things. She wants kids, I don't. We were discussing our upcoming trip to Paris and then it suddenly ended up being something completely different. She went home. We're both kind of a mess. I'm completely in love with her. This is terrible.

I'm really sorry but I do think it's better now to know - it's difficult though because frankly I didn't know I didn't want kids until much later, I seriously imagined myself having a traditional family for years. It came down to medical and other issues sealing it for me but fuck this shit isn't easy.

The logical part of it is this isn't something EITHER side should negotiate on. However it's also something I'm surprised wasn't addressed early on/earlier. Maybe it's different though from a make perspective but even so I would have thought maybe she would have initiated it too - it's just weird to ME in my experience to not have had this talk in the very beginning because frankly it's a compatibility issue.

Inn not saying this lightly at all - because i absolutely hate seeing people in emotional or physical pain and there's no easy way to proceed.I really wish you luck whatever happens but I'll just say this - to anyone - Don't have kids to save a relationship or stay together @for the kids" we fucking know the difference.

[Anoat]

At least you get to stretch out on the bed again.

[Zetanio]

I'm really sorry but I do think it's better now to know - it's difficult though because frankly I didn't know I didn't want kids until much later, I seriously imagined myself having a traditional family for years. It came down to medical and other issues sealing it for me but fuck this shit isn't easy.

The logical part of it is this isn't something EITHER side should negotiate on. However it's also something I'm surprised wasn't addressed early on/earlier. Maybe it's different though from a make perspective but even so I would have thought maybe she would have initiated it too - it's just weird to ME in my experience to not have had this talk in the very beginning because frankly it's a compatibility issue.

Inn not saying this lightly at all - because i absolutely hate seeing people in emotional or physical pain and there's no easy way to proceed.I really wish you luck whatever happens but I'll just say this - to anyone - Don't have kids to save a relationship or stay together @for the kids" we fucking know the difference.

I brought it up pretty early on briefly. She didn't really say anything. Said she was scared to bring it up afterwards.

Ugh. Gonna probably have to cut the cord on this one. Fuck. I was really hoping to not have to go back to dating again ever. Goddamnit all.

[Fondue]

try bartering with her

7 cats is a small price to pay for no kids

[Astylla]

I brought it up pretty early on briefly. She didn't really say anything. Said she was scared to bring it up afterwards.

Ugh. Gonna probably have to cut the cord on this one. Fuck. I was really hoping to not have to go back to dating again ever. Goddamnit all.

She should have been honest - point blank. Maybe she thought you would change your mind..I unfortunately see that often from other women and it absolutely infuriates me and I'm sure it happens the other way too.

I'm sorry , I really am.

[Ksandra]

GF and I just a long-term relationship talk that pretty much ended things. She wants kids, I don't. We were discussing our upcoming trip to Paris and then it suddenly ended up being something completely different. She went home. We're both kind of a mess. I'm completely in love with her. This is terrible.

That sucks man. Definitely a deal breaker for many couples. I would not have married my husband if he hadn't wanted kids, and I love the ever living fuck out of him.

How old are you, if you don't mind me asking?

[Zetanio]

We're working on things.

31.

[Ksandra]

We're working on things.

31.

I mean, don't do it if you are then going to give her shit about kids later on. As Astylla said, better to know now then later.


With that said, if you do come around to kids for her, don't be that dad/husband that won't do fuck all to help out. Some women will try and say they can take care of the kids in order to keep their man, but really, that shit is rough (can't understand how single parents don't blast themselves into the ocean). And no kid deserves a dad around that is letting their mom waste away and won't help.

Though for reals, many say they don't want kids, then fall madly in love with theirs once they actually have them. But if you really don't think you are going to be that guy, make sure she truly understands that. She shouldn't be with someone she thinks might change his mind someday if you are dead set on not having them.

[Zetanio]

Stuff.

Things are going to happen. We're going to take things as they come.

[BaneTheBrawler]

My gf was firmly anti kids when we started dating but shes come around since. I flip flop on it.

People change. How firmly are you anti kids? Maybe try imagining raising a kid with her, see how that feels on yer brain.

Or maybe she'll decide shes okay with no kids. I would be okay not having kids if thats what my gf wants.

Tl;dr: hang in there dude. Reconciliation is possible, depends on how firm you guys are and what changes youre willing to make for each other.

[Astylla]

I mean, don't do it if you are then going to give her shit about kids later on. As Astylla said, better to know now then later.


With that said, if you do come around to kids for her, don't be that dad/husband that won't do fuck all to help out. Some women will try and say they can take care of the kids in order to keep their man, but really, that shit is rough (can't understand how single parents don't blast themselves into the ocean). And no kid deserves a dad around that is letting their mom waste away and won't help.

Though for reals, many say they don't want kids, then fall madly in love with theirs once they actually have them. But if you really don't think you are going to be that guy, make sure she truly understands that. She shouldn't be with someone she thinks might change his mind someday if you are dead set on not having them.

There's so much wrong with this where to fucking start.

NO ONE should just "come around" to having kids. That's ridiculous and a setup for a miserable existence let alone home. It should be an actual desire, unrelated to anything else. Doing it for him/her is the epitome of bad fucking decisions which can lead to animosity and resentment- I know because I was the cause of such in my home.

Roles could be reversed too - there's lots of men who want kids and women who don't too, just saying.

And I don't believe that bullshit about it's different when they're yours. I could pop out one slathered in gold and diamonds and not want a thing to do with it- but that's just me. I cringe around them - babies especially freak me out, and I've heard the whole " you were a kid too once " and " well if your parents didn't want them you wouldn't be here" among the rest of the garbage too many times to count.

There's no easy answers here but it's not our choice to make. It's the individuals involved that only can ultimately decide what's best.

[Kalmado]

Another opinion.

While I do not 100% disagree with you, I'll share my story. I met my wife in August 2010. We dated and after 3 1/2 months I knew she was it. Married since. While engaged we talked about kids. I said I didn't want them pretty firmly, but my wife got me to open up about why. I said, and this is 110% truth, I didn't want to bring a being into this world that would even remotely like me. I won't go into detail because it's slightly intimate, but my wife tried to get me to see I'd be a great father because I hated my father. She showed me how to value myself, but in the same regard she started seeing how if we chose to have a child in our early 30s we wouldn't get to do many things in our life we wanted to do. I guess what I'm trying to say is everyone is different and every situation is different. While I had no want for children, I was slightly open minded once my wife helped me learn my worth. But, if a person is confident that children is not what they want than their partner either needs to accept or leave.