Random Fail: First World Problems

[NynJa]

Since you all dont read the NHL thread, I think this is pretty fail worthy for 2012:
http://chirpstory.com/li/6781

[Xtrasweettea]

I have another fail I just remembered:
more #governmentfail

This was the last fail I had witnessed before I got laid off at my job at the stevedore company. This, once again, deals with Customs and Border Protection officers. This time, they decided to randomly inspect semi trailers that were parked at the port. The semi-trailers at the port were bound to be shipped to Costa Rica. Inside most of these semi-trailers are car parts that will be recycled or reused. Most of these trailers are packed full, that opening the trailers would result in death of whoever opened them as these things were packed full. Knowing that, the Customs Officers decide to inspect the only one that wasn't packed full of car parts.

This trailer was full of plumbing materials, lumber, doors, windows, and an in-window AC unit. The trailer was holding stuff for a to-be shack. The officers took everything out of the trailer, not being careful in the process. The officers tossed everything and left the stuff out on the lot. If you didn't guess, the customer was outraged. After some "nice" words between management and Customs, the officers came back to throw everything back into the trailer that they could find.

As to no surprise, the customer reported to me that the person in Costa Rica (his customer) who go the trailer had broken windows, missing PVC pipe, and the AC unit was damaged.

The customer was out of luck, since it was done in the name of security and safety of the country.

[Conrad]

Pens fans did it when Wayne Simmonds scored too, it's just a big deal because Boston = racism

[Silenka]

Two bitches in the hallway complaining about how their teacher gives them way too much work "that we don't even need to know, it's just stuff she wants us to know in detail for no reason at all".

Yes, because the only point of taking classes is to pass tests, god forbid your teacher expect you to actually learn about the subject you're studying.

[Nephlite]

A buddy of mine walked in to the office one day and said "I got some shit to tell you dude." Naturally, I thought it was something serious, so we took an outing to a local diner and got lunch while discussing the issue. Apparently back in 2010, he donated sperm and signed a waiver stating he could not be contacted by the buyer, can't be sued for childcare costs, etc. Rewind about 4 years when I was strapped for cash, I donated to the same clinic over a year period (one vial a week for $150.00 a donation, same deal with the waivers, etc.) and I turned him on to the idea when he came to be in the same boat.

Well apparently a woman who bought his donation found a loophole in the system which reflects that police officers can't be anonymous in these situations as their identities and status are subject to public scrutiny if their files are unsealed for an investigation. After he donated, he was investigated by the local court system for possible narcotics trade, which he beat easily since the time he was under fire he was undercover and the trades were done with approval to rake in drugs, cash, buyers and dealers on the street and all the drugs/cash were accounted for the time period. How she was able to obtain this information and track him down is beyond me but he got a subpoena in the mail to appear for civil damages in excess of $120,000 for costs of childcare.

Now about two weeks later, 20 people i'm somewhat familiar with have gotten subpoena's for the same case that's being represented by the same lawyer in the same jurisdiction. Half of those guys don't even work for our department anymore. I got one two days ago.

[pogejr]

Dude... that sounds really serious.
Am I missing something?

[Eurell]

A buddy of mine walked in to the office one day and said "I got some shit to tell you dude." Naturally, I thought it was something serious, so we took an outing to a local diner and got lunch while discussing the issue. Apparently back in 2010, he donated sperm and signed a waiver stating he could not be contacted by the buyer, can't be sued for childcare costs, etc. Rewind about 4 years when I was strapped for cash, I donated to the same clinic over a year period (one vial a week for $150.00 a donation, same deal with the waivers, etc.) and I turned him on to the idea when he came to be in the same boat.

Well apparently a woman who bought his donation found a loophole in the system which reflects that police officers can't be anonymous in these situations as their identities and status are subject to public scrutiny if their files are unsealed for an investigation. After he donated, he was investigated by the local court system for possible narcotics trade, which he beat easily since the time he was under fire he was undercover and the trades were done with approval to rake in drugs, cash, buyers and dealers on the street and all the drugs/cash were accounted for the time period. How she was able to obtain this information and track him down is beyond me but he got a subpoena in the mail to appear for civil damages in excess of $120,000 for costs of childcare.

Now about two weeks later, 20 people i'm somewhat familiar with have gotten subpoena's for the same case that's being represented by the same lawyer in the same jurisdiction. Half of those guys don't even work for our department anymore. I got one two days ago.

Fucking hate lawyers that take bullshit cases like this. Shit's disgusting.

[LittleSlurpee]

A buddy of mine walked in to the office one day and said "I got some shit to tell you dude." Naturally, I thought it was something serious, so we took an outing to a local diner and got lunch while discussing the issue. Apparently back in 2010, he donated sperm and signed a waiver stating he could not be contacted by the buyer, can't be sued for childcare costs, etc. Rewind about 4 years when I was strapped for cash, I donated to the same clinic over a year period (one vial a week for $150.00 a donation, same deal with the waivers, etc.) and I turned him on to the idea when he came to be in the same boat.

Well apparently a woman who bought his donation found a loophole in the system which reflects that police officers can't be anonymous in these situations as their identities and status are subject to public scrutiny if their files are unsealed for an investigation. After he donated, he was investigated by the local court system for possible narcotics trade, which he beat easily since the time he was under fire he was undercover and the trades were done with approval to rake in drugs, cash, buyers and dealers on the street and all the drugs/cash were accounted for the time period. How she was able to obtain this information and track him down is beyond me but he got a subpoena in the mail to appear for civil damages in excess of $120,000 for costs of childcare.

Now about two weeks later, 20 people i'm somewhat familiar with have gotten subpoena's for the same case that's being represented by the same lawyer in the same jurisdiction. Half of those guys don't even work for our department anymore. I got one two days ago.

That's extremely fucked up and I can't believe those would hold up in court. If I were the judge I would throw that shit out. And if I were you, perhaps counter-sue the company that released the information.

Times like these make me happy I'm a woman.

[Nephlite]

Im not worried in the least (about the case). I have an awesome lawyer who's a college buddy and a fellow war buddy. He said he'd fight the case for free. But thats not even what makes me mad. Whats fucked up is this was supposed to be anonymous, im pretty sure they never used my sperm (you have to keep donating not because it gets used but because the samples have about a 2 week shelf life in the freezer unless you get the cryo storage, which you have to pay for and that lasts for years) AND even if it did get used, i cant afford to pay a judgement if i loose. Thankfully my wife knows and shes a researcher at a lawfirm so shes also helping out to make sure this dies before it goes anywhere. At least she didnt cut my balls off for donating...

[Aksannyi]

Even if they did use it, honestly, these bitches would not have a kid if not for you or any of the other donors. How can people be so fucking asstarded.

[Qeomash]

Even if they did use it, honestly, these bitches would not have a kid if not for you or any of the other donors. How can people be so fucking asstarded.

They thinkhope they can get money for free. If it's a carpet bomb of a lawsuit like it sounds, they're just hoping that at least one gets them a wad of cash.

[Eurell]

They thinkhope they can get money for free. If it's a carpet bomb of a lawsuit like it sounds, they're just hoping that at least one gets them a wad of cash.

Which is even sillier, because I doubt its normally guys with wads of cash that are donating.

[altwight]

My debit card is scratched on the black line so most of the time it doesn't scan. K? No big deal right? WRONG!

Please someone correct me if I'm wrong about the point of this:

Incident #1, McDonalds:
Order food, get up to window and say to the lady "My card doesn't swipe very well so you'll have to put the card number into the machine." She looks at me with the most RIDICULOUS face. She takes me card and fucking swipes it. No big deal k? I mean I probably would've tried it to. She swipes it again... again, obviously frustrated now. Calls for someone to come help her. Person comes and looks just as retarded as her and swipes the card about 3 or 4 times. Finally she turns to me and says "Your card is declining sir." ... In my head I'm thinking "Is she fucking serious?" but I simply say "It's not declining, it's just not swiping, it scratched, punch the card number into the machine and do credit. (all fast food places do credit anyway) Again, I get the most retarded look EVER. She turns to the machine looks at it and does a double take before turning back to me and saying "Our machines aren't equipped for that." JKADHJKADNFSA?! Mind totally fucked at the moment I tell her "Go to the front register, enter my order as if I was ordering from inside, press credit, enter the numbers on the front of my card. It will work, I promise you." Now she's got this smirk bitch look on her face like "Does he really think I'ma go do that LOL?" But she says to me "Sir, your card is being declined do you have any other form of payment?" Drove off. Got the drinks for free though.

Incident #2, Krystal:
Same deal as before except this time it's 3am and I'm dealing with an obvious hottie(emo ish lookin pale skin gorgeous eyes probably 17 or 18) high school drop out who needed anything she could take. Hand her my card and she swipes it and it doesn't work. Swipes it again, and again. Then she grabs a plastic bag (I've heard of this but at first I was like what the fuck is she doing) puts my card in it and tries to swipe. Doesn't work. She keeps doing it over and over before trying it realllllllllly slow and then eventually swiping it the wrong way(and backwards) She's cute so I'm polite to her when she comes back and says "Your card isn't scanning." So I tell her "Yea uh, just enter the number and do credit." She goes back in and doesn't know what the hell I just said and looks at the machine for a good 15 sec. Glances at the sides of it (...) and then just starts hitting buttons. At this moment I'm like "YUS! SHE FIGURED IT OUT!" but unfortunately not. She keeps at it for a good minute and is becoming more and more upset (hand went to head elbow went to shelf) so eventually she comes back and she's like in tears and tells me how she doesn't know how to do it and she's sorry. I ask if her manager is there and she fucking starts crying. At this point I'm just fucking weirded out so I just leave.

Incident #3, Chick Fil A
This one goes more smoothly up to a certain point. I tell the guy my card sucks and he's gotta input the shit. He starts off fine but HE GETS HALTED! He puts on a confused face and looks at the card front to back with the same derp face. I can hear him mumble under his breath "Ex D?" looks up and says "It's telling me to enter "Ex D" and I can't find that on your card." I smirk up and simply say "It's the expiration date." So sounds like this problem is solved right? WRONG! The expiration date is 07/15 and for whatever reason he keeps entering 7/15 instead of 07/15 and keeps bugging out and it took him another 30 seconds.

Time for a new debit card.

[shukudai]

My debit card is scratched on the black line so most of the time it doesn't scan. K? No big deal right? WRONG!

Please someone correct me if I'm wrong about the point of this:

Incident #1, McDonalds:
Order food, get up to window and say to the lady "My card doesn't swipe very well so you'll have to put the card number into the machine." She looks at me with the most RIDICULOUS face. She takes me card and fucking swipes it. No big deal k? I mean I probably would've tried it to. She swipes it again... again, obviously frustrated now. Calls for someone to come help her. Person comes and looks just as retarded as her and swipes the card about 3 or 4 times. Finally she turns to me and says "Your card is declining sir." ... In my head I'm thinking "Is she fucking serious?" but I simply say "It's not declining, it's just not swiping, it scratched, punch the card number into the machine and do credit. (all fast food places do credit anyway) Again, I get the most retarded look EVER. She turns to the machine looks at it and does a double take before turning back to me and saying "Our machines aren't equipped for that." JKADHJKADNFSA?! Mind totally fucked at the moment I tell her "Go to the front register, enter my order as if I was ordering from inside, press credit, enter the numbers on the front of my card. It will work, I promise you." Now she's got this smirk bitch look on her face like "Does he really think I'ma go do that LOL?" But she says to me "Sir, your card is being declined do you have any other form of payment?" Drove off. Got the drinks for free though.

Incident #2, Krystal:
Same deal as before except this time it's 3am and I'm dealing with an obvious hottie(emo ish lookin pale skin gorgeous eyes probably 17 or 18) high school drop out who needed anything she could take. Hand her my card and she swipes it and it doesn't work. Swipes it again, and again. Then she grabs a plastic bag (I've heard of this but at first I was like what the fuck is she doing) puts my card in it and tries to swipe. Doesn't work. She keeps doing it over and over before trying it realllllllllly slow and then eventually swiping it the wrong way(and backwards) She's cute so I'm polite to her when she comes back and says "Your card isn't scanning." So I tell her "Yea uh, just enter the number and do credit." She goes back in and doesn't know what the hell I just said and looks at the machine for a good 15 sec. Glances at the sides of it (...) and then just starts hitting buttons. At this moment I'm like "YUS! SHE FIGURED IT OUT!" but unfortunately not. She keeps at it for a good minute and is becoming more and more upset (hand went to head elbow went to shelf) so eventually she comes back and she's like in tears and tells me how she doesn't know how to do it and she's sorry. I ask if her manager is there and she fucking starts crying. At this point I'm just fucking weirded out so I just leave.

Incident #3, Chick Fil A
This one goes more smoothly up to a certain point. I tell the guy my card sucks and he's gotta input the shit. He starts off fine but HE GETS HALTED! He puts on a confused face and looks at the card front to back with the same derp face. I can hear him mumble under his breath "Ex D?" looks up and says "It's telling me to enter "Ex D" and I can't find that on your card." I smirk up and simply say "It's the expiration date." So sounds like this problem is solved right? WRONG! The expiration date is 07/15 and for whatever reason he keeps entering 7/15 instead of 07/15 and keeps bugging out and it took him another 30 seconds.

Time for a new debit card.

I work in Point of Sales support, and this is actually a fairly common issue. Not only do people get damaged cards, but the card swipes break occasionally too. Most of the people swiping the cards don't have a clue about the systems they're using, so if the swipe doesn't work, it's an instant panic, because now they have to tell the customer that there is a problem with their card or the swipe. They then proceed to call support, who generally informs them "You can punch the credit card number and expiration date on screen as well, so if your card swipe is broken or you get a damaged card, you can still take payment.", which they are generally unhappy with and will say things along the lines of "I have to enter all these numbers?". If the swipe card reader itself is damaged, they also tend to want it fixed instantly over the phone, as if the person they're speaking with can magically replace parts or the unit itself -_- This is why people like Apple products They work simply, if they don't work, walk over to the Apple store, replace it.

[izembo]

honestly, it's more stupid on your part to not replace the card as soon as you know it has issues. it's not their fault that you're being lazy.
most credit card companies will require an imprint if the card is manually input, otherwise you can just dispute the charge and get it reversed that easily saying it wasn't you there, etc. Most places won't bother on low priced items such as fast food because it's simply easier to just write it off those few times than to fight it, but if it doesn't swipe and they arent equipped to imprint that's still a possibility as well.

[Ksandra]

Just as a random note, the plastic bag does work sometimes. I had a card that was worn out and had to do that a lot while waiting on my replacement lol.

[Norellicus]

honestly, it's more stupid on your part to not replace the card as soon as you know it has issues. it's not their fault that you're being lazy.
most credit card companies will require an imprint if the card is manually input, otherwise you can just dispute the charge and get it reversed that easily saying it wasn't you there, etc. Most places won't bother on low priced items such as fast food because it's simply easier to just write it off those few times than to fight it, but if it doesn't swipe and they arent equipped to imprint that's still a possibility as well.

To the first part, many card companies charge rather exorbitant fees for replacement cards and/or have 'cooldown' period where you can't request a new card for X months after receiving one(which could be an issue if you had a fraud problem or just got a new card expiration or some such), so no it isn't as simple as 'stop being lazy and get a new card'

To the second, you're totally right, if you can't swipe the magstripe for a CC payment then you have to get an imprint, which is why buying things on the Internet requires you to scan your CC and send an image- oh wait.

Moreover, most brick and mortar places I've encountered do have a backup plan for if their CC processing system fails; they don't want to lose sales just because they can't take your payment.

The employees of the stores he went to are the problem here, not his lack of preparedness.

[Francisco]

I worked in a Walgreens photo years ago... so many stupid people...

Some overly friendly drugged out woman wanted to get pictures off her digital camera, but didn't have them saved to a memory card, and she forgot her USB cable. I told her we couldn't help her in store, but she could either save her pictures to a CD at home, or send them to us over the internet. Her reply...

"Internet??? What's thaaaaaaat?"

This was in 2006 or so.

.....

Another time, our Kodak self-serve machine was broken. I had an "Out of Order" sign hanging on it... Some black lady comes in, and immediately questions the motive of the sign.

"Um, is this machine REALLY broken, or is it just 'broken' because I'm black?"

I replied "No, it's because you're fat."

Luckily my boss was on vacation, shocked I got away with it.

.....

One time I was approached while buying some candy.

"You're photo, right?"

"No, I'm Bill."

"Bill??? Oh! Can I pay you for Verizon?"

[izembo]

To the first part, many card companies charge rather exorbitant fees for replacement cards and/or have 'cooldown' period where you can't request a new card for X months after receiving one(which could be an issue if you had a fraud problem or just got a new card expiration or some such), so no it isn't as simple as 'stop being lazy and get a new card'

To the second, you're totally right, if you can't swipe the magstripe for a CC payment then you have to get an imprint, which is why buying things on the Internet requires you to scan your CC and send an image- oh wait.

Moreover, most brick and mortar places I've encountered do have a backup plan for if their CC processing system fails; they don't want to lose sales just because they can't take your payment.

The employees of the stores he went to are the problem here, not his lack of preparedness.

which is why most cc fraud is online.

For your protection, a manual imprinter can be used to imprint the credit card when any of the following are true:
• You're not using a POS terminal
• You have to manually enter (not swiped) the credit card information into your POS terminal
• You do not have a POS printer
• You are accepting credit cards which are not electronically deposited (Diner's Club or Carte Blanche) Information That Must be on a Sales Draft
• Credit card number (recorded from the card's magnetic strip or imprinted)
• Authorization Code and Reference Numbers
• Signature of customer
• Card expiration date
• Date of sale
• Amount of sale, including tax
• Description of goods/services

In order to guarantee funds, if it's manually inputted, it must be imprinted

[Tweek]

Just as a random note, the plastic bag does work sometimes. I had a card that was worn out and had to do that a lot while waiting on my replacement lol.

plastic bag works wonders