Random Fail: First World Problems

**Abandon** · 2014-06-17 07:48

they dont sting, but by god, they look and sound like they should, which is enough for me

**Brill Weave** · 2014-06-17 08:01

I'm just waiting for the next chapter in my never ending battle with yellowjackets. Fuckers always show up in my yard. And I take extreme pleasure in burning them to death. Fucking hate those things.

**Abandon** · 2014-06-17 08:05

apparently, the wasps on okinawa are poisonous. fuck this place

**arus2001** · 2014-06-17 08:09

Originally Posted by Abandon

apparently, the wasps on okinawa are poisonous. fuck this place

**Sepukku** · 2014-06-17 08:14

You gotta watch out for their syphillis sting

http://fc06.deviantart.net/fs71/i/20...ra-d4nn47r.jpg

**Aidin** · 2014-06-17 08:27

Fuck bees. I started riding motorcycles last year and I got a yellow jacket and bumblebee in my helmet in the first 2 months while my visor was closed, they flew up around my chin and crawled up the side of my face.

**TsingTao** · 2014-06-17 08:58

Ooo, bees and wasps. I have a story from my youth that you will all enjoy.

I'm 9, it's summer, and I'm outside playing when my mother shouts that we have to go to the store.
I come in, she tells me to change and put on my new sneakers. I change, and run downstairs to the laundry room to don said sneakers.
Mother and sister follow me as they are already ready to leave. I put on my first (left) shoe then attempt to don the right.
"OW!" I shout. Something sharp had stuck me when I put my foot in the shoe.
"What?" says my mother.
"There's something sharp in my shoe"
"Oh there is not. Hurry up, we're late".
"Fine" I say as I try again. "OW!!!"
"WHAT!"
"Something stuck me again. I think you dropped a pin in my shoe"
"That's stupid, how would I do that? Put your shoe on, we are late!"
"No, I'm not putting my foot in there again."
"Damnit! Give me the shoe, we don't have time for this"
I hand her the shoe, and she sticks her hand in it.
"See! Nothing sharp. Now let's go already!" she says as she extracts her hand from my shoe...
...to find a wasp the size of a small hummingbird on the back of her hand.

The screams of abject terror as my mother, limbs flapping madly, and sister fled in terror were worth the two stabbings. Also, I can still guilt my mother with this terrible trauma almost 40 years later. :D

**Aksannyi** · 2014-06-17 09:00

Welp, congrats I'm never wearing anything but flip flops and sandals again.

**Abandon** · 2014-06-17 09:40

yup, we're done with shoes here

**Tokitoki** · 2014-06-17 09:47

Originally Posted by Abandon

yup, we're done with shoes here

Hah.

Ive stepped on bees twice when I was younger. Learn to fly or face their wrath.

**Abandon** · 2014-06-17 10:00

i got stung in the back of the head as a teen while mowing the lawn once

found nest, took a lighter to it. they swarmed, and i broke the world record for a 50m sprint into the house

**Arelian** · 2014-06-17 10:04

Speaking of stings, I just learned about tarantula hawks.

Fuck nature.

**TsingTao** · 2014-06-17 10:08

Can't say I blame you Abandon. Fk poisonous wasps.

Originally Posted by Tokitoki

Hah.

Ive stepped on bees twice when I was younger. Learn to fly or face their wrath.

Truth.

Turn back now if you must for I have another bee story!
Register to see the NSFW content

Ah the joys of growing up in a rural, wooded environment. My girls panic at the sight of a bumblebee...it's adorable.

**Abandon** · 2014-06-17 10:14

looooooooooool

**Jaffar** · 2014-06-17 10:17

When I was about 10 or so, some older kids convinced me to throw rocks up into a tree at a nest... of paper wasps; turns out I'm allergic, but luckily I was only stung by 1 & made it to the hospital as my stomach was swelling up.

My wife now deals with nests, as she'd rather do that than take me to the ER.

**The Stig** · 2014-06-17 11:09

Bees! Maybe a random win but this article was always frigging hilarious: http://www.somethingawful.com/comedy-goldmine/bees/1/

**TsingTao** · 2014-06-17 11:12

I've always loved that thread. I'm sure you can figure out why.

**bluefan** · 2014-06-17 11:16

Originally Posted by Aidin

Fuck bees. I started riding motorcycles last year and I got a yellow jacket and bumblebee in my helmet in the first 2 months while my visor was closed, they flew up around my chin and crawled up the side of my face.

Boy am I glad my helmet has a chin guard, so there's only like a 1cm space lol.

**Acevalefor** · 2014-06-17 11:42

And scientists wonder why bee populations are dying off at alarming rates. I just found the answer in a 3 minute read on a gaming forum.

**arus2001** · 2014-06-17 11:53

Originally Posted by Acevalefor

And scientists wonder why bee populations are dying off at alarming rates. I just found the answer in a 3 minute read on a gaming forum.

I did my part with some vehicular beeslaughter. I need to upgrade my ride and move on to republicans. >.>

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