Random Fail: First World Problems

[Trichocyst]

I ordered a vintage bathing suit and it's slightly too small. Now I will look silly in it.

[Abandon]

Shitty printer at work but it's on the first floor of the station and no one wants to walk upstairs because it's near the administration.

Booking is scanning my shit and making copies for packets. Clerk is a injured reserve who got put on desk work because she popped out her 5th baby and can't qualify for handgun without someone holding her back because she says the recoil is too much. Well she starts cussing in an unknown ghetto manner and I go to investigate because my reports on the query. She's bitching because the copies are coming out on 18x11 paper instead of normal stock. I sit there and help her out for a minute and made perfect copies. She gets back on and the same shit happens. I said "User error" and she snaps her fingers and neck at me and tries again. Happens a second and third time before I notice what's happening. The tray swap button is just above the big blue "Copy" button but her pristine fingernails that are about 3 inches long keep hitting the tray swap button. I try to tell her, however, she does the "I've been here longer than you, been doing this longer than you, fuck you white boy." routine. Decide to skip her and go to the admin office to run copies. Get chewed out by a Lieutenant because I haven't shaved in a week. Fuck grooming standards.

what branch are you? also, where are you stationed?

[Cail]

been playing fallout: new vegas all day/night. i usually dont save, and let it autosave...game jsut froze, truned my 360 off + on, go to reload + game file corrupted...fml

[Clash Perez]

what branch are you? also, where are you stationed?

Pretty sure he's a cop, and not enlisted. It does sound a lot like a Navy sea-story.

[Corresapolonia]

ordered a new pullupbar over Amazon. Wake up check Mailbox. "You have a package waiting in your local mail-office, please pick it up when you can". Office closed 5 minutes earler than i woke up.
It is Saturday. i wanted to try my new Bar today.
slowly beginning suicide....

[Myrrh_Quetz]

Proper Random Fail from me now.

So, I was at the Beach with my Girlfriend and I don't trust anyone so I didn't leave my pain pills in a vehicle or leave them in our towels on the dry sand. I brought them into the water with me thinking the bottle wouldn't let water leak in. How wrong I was. My back was killing me after swimming so I went to grab a pill, looked at the bottle, it was like liquid white. It looked like a small pill bottle full of sperm. That was my entire months supply D:

[Qalbert]

idk, I'm not a fan of knocking back cumshots

[Airenn]

well, at least now his girlfriend can still get some while he's out of order due to pain


sorry myrrh<3

[Myrrh_Quetz]

That sounds like a pretty awesome shot tbh

No, no it's not. I tried some to see if I could help the pain. I wanted to vomit. That gross powder pill taste wouldn't leave my mouth for several hours aswell.

[Apelila]

idk, I'm not a fan of knocking back cumshots

Rimshots are better.

Keep the bottle and take it to the pharmacy and see if they'll refill it.

[Furionstormrage]

I want to watch Mallrats but it's not on Netflix, so I have to walk over to the TV stand, get the DVD out, put it in the player, and sit back down. I've been debating how badly I want to see it for about thirty minutes now.

[Kerberoz]

Just evaporate the water then parachute the resulting powder.

[Keria]

ok here is a small one:

I work in a legal aid office

DLA stands for Disability Living Allowance
DVLA stands for Driver and Vehicle Licensing Agency

90% of people who call me at work: "Hi yeah can you help me please, they have stopped my DVLA even though (life story)..." snoooooore

[Anoat]

I was shopping for some new pants/shorts the other day and I came to a first world problem realization. I wear a 40 or 42 waist (depending on what it is). This is apparently super rare in the regular sections of most stores to the point where it is only sold online. And the Big & Tall section of most stores, that size is considered small, and is rare too. So I'm too big for regular stuff and too small for Big & Tall.

[Apelila]

Big & Tall is very literal with their name too. You have to be a god damn giant both in Width and Height to shop there. Cuz tall people are never skinny right?

I needed new jeans after losing some weight. New waist size: 28. Inseam: 34.

I've settled for 32/34's with a belt out of the kids section at old navy.

[Apelila]

6'4" and 140. I make Ethiopians look like they're from Mississippi.
Haven't been able to eat anything that requires teeth since may due to an accident. Wont be able to afford the replacements until late October.

[Xantavia]

Ah but stupid can't hold a conversation with me, and I find them .... well, stupid, really. It's not about entertainment in the long term, haha!

I'm onto one at the moment, trying to sway her away from "small talk" after adding her on facebook to see if she would send messages that are more meaningful than "how are you" or "how's your day been?". She was fine in the bar (we bonded over a mutual friend's party) so I need to test if it was fake interest or is there something to it.

Chances are she'll probably stop replying and I'll get bored/stop trying (hey if things were meant to be then she'd ask me more things). I'll see if she resists my offer for lunch/dinner lol

Six weeks later quote, but whatever. Reminds me of a party I was at in college. Talking to this girl, thought it was going really well, having some interesting conversations. All of a sudden, she's like "Oops, what was I saying. I don't know what I'm talking about" and does the little hair twirl around the finger. Major turn-off for me right there.

[shaddix]

6'4" and 140. I make Ethiopians look like they're from Mississippi.
Haven't been able to eat anything that requires teeth since may due to an accident. Wont be able to afford the replacements until late October.

What the fuck dude! Drink a gallon of milk every day. You should be 190lbs minimum

[Apelila]

Drinking a pint a day with Boost mixed in as it is. Can't handle more, wrecks my stomach. Also my body processes fluids like a humming bird on meth, if I drink more than a cup of water 30min later I will have to go to the bathroom, no exceptions. I was always 145 until I was about 25, then my body finally decided to put on a little extra weight putting me up to 160. I only lost 10 lbs due to the food issues, the other 10 was pneumonia I got right after the surgery because they punctured my sinus'.

Edit: Also, I love my size. I get self conscious about it every once in a while because I'm no where near how I'd like to be, but I'll be working to correct that once I can well, eat. I'm well aware that if you don't start making yourself look better @ 30 you end up looking like skeletor/a holocaust survivor in your 40's.

[The Stig]

Six weeks later quote, but whatever. Reminds me of a party I was at in college. Talking to this girl, thought it was going really well, having some interesting conversations. All of a sudden, she's like "Oops, what was I saying. I don't know what I'm talking about" and does the little hair twirl around the finger. Major turn-off for me right there.

The hair twirl thing is body language for interested, or so I thought. As for what made her suddenly say that, it is indeed strange/a turn off.

For my situation it's gone no where of course. Broke off communication. She was just too boring it seems, I expended all of my effort trying to mention interesting things and hoping she'll latch on. But nope. lol