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  1. #41
    Death by snoo snoo
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  2. #42
    okay guy I guess
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    not sure why I thought that would help

  3. #43
    HABS SUCK!!!!!
    Sepukku is my Hero
    Therrien's Cum Dumpster

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    I stopped posting at work so I could actually get work done, its a joke Isla will understand atleast

  4. #44
    Ridill
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    Quote Originally Posted by ChairmanMeow View Post
    Waiting for a train the other day, two girls I don't know standing next to me.

    Girl 1: I have to see a specialist this week.
    Girl 2: What kind of specialist?
    Girl 1: A small bone specialist.
    Girl 2: OH MY GOD, YOU HAVE SMALL BONES?!

    ...I thought it was funny.
    What is a small bone specialist? An ED doctor?

  5. #45
    Anti-crusade crusader
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    My baby son just took a big shit inside is diaper and my wife was procrastinating on changing in. She was playing some facebook game while he was on her lap. "I'll just be a sec, almost done with with round." Little man starts bouncing and does with really hard and forceful bounce. He wasn't wearing pants, so the shit came out from the back of his diaper and shot up at my wife's chin/mouth. Funniest thing I've ever seen. Not some huge spray of shit, but enough to get her to change him/shower.

  6. #46
    Hyperion Cross
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    @KFC a Chinese tourist stood next to me while ordering

    (I'm also Chinese, by the way, so I saw the funny side)

    Tourist: I want... uh... your 2 piece variety meal
    KFCgirl: sure, what drink?
    Tourist: Wait! What parts of chicken you get in that?
    KFCgirl: breast or thigh, also 2 chicken strips, and a wing
    Tourist: ok but NO FEET, right?

    He said no feet quite loudly and very fast, causing me to turn to the side to hold my laughter in.

    The idea of KFC feet though did make me intrigued.

    (Incase anyone doesn't know, the feet doesn't really contain any meat... only skin and a tiny bit of meat. In short, if they gave him feet with it, it would be an insult to him in that he would think "i wasted £4.99 for FEET?!")

  7. #47
    Like a boss yo
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    Quote Originally Posted by Cream Soda View Post
    Only soda I'll drink now days are the diet soda/0 calories, and even then I never buy it, it's only when I'm at a gathering or something and it's there being offered for free.



    My teacher failed a few weeks ago by coming in on test day w/ only one copy of the test. He moved it to the next day
    I drink soda all the time, it's bad as hell trying to stop drinking it.

    Fail of the day : Go to McDonalds and ask for the Crispy Chicken Sammich without tomato. Get the sammich, and I not only have tomato on there, but they
    did not put any chicken on it -_-

  8. #48
    Black Belt
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    Quote Originally Posted by The Stig View Post
    Tourist: I want... uh... your 2 piece variety meal
    KFCgirl: sure, what drink?
    Tourist: Wait! What parts of chicken you get in that?
    KFCgirl: breast or thigh, also 2 chicken strips, and a wing
    Tourist: ok but NO FEET, right?
    Being familiar with some people of Chinese descent, this made me laugh pretty fucking hard XD Mmm goose feet, what a delicacy

  9. #49
    Limecat
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    Quetzalcoatl

    I got a fail.

    So, a few weeks ago I was in Fargo, North Dakota for a Magic The Gathering PTQ. Now, I left at 4am and forgot to exchange my Canadian Currency for American. I get there, no store accepts Canadian. Go to the local bank, ask for it to be exchanged. Guy takes my money, gives me money back. Then asks what my account was. Told him, I didn't have one and I was only in the states for a day.

    Tells me to wait a minute, walks away to find his manager, asks him what to do. Comes back, demands that I give the money back and gives me shit about how I mislead him into thinking I had an account.

    I was just like "But...you gave me the money. I can walk out right now" then threatens me with the police. I don't think he could have but I was tired from driving all night and didn't want to deal with a bunch of shit. Gave the money back, got my Canadian money back and was fucked for the rest of the day.

  10. #50
    HABS SUCK!!!!!
    Sepukku is my Hero
    Therrien's Cum Dumpster

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    Be at work... Customer orders 2 drinks: diet coke and a sprite

    "which ones the coke and which is the sprite?"

  11. #51
    Member since 2006 and still can't think of a title.
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    On another forum the wife and I frequent, there is this girl we have friended but don't really know why since she's pants on head retarded. She makes a post gloating about how awesome it is that she learned how to properly smoke a cig by googling it. Oh to be that dumb and naive.

  12. #52

    I drink soda a lot...but not quickly and i always order from fast food with no ice so it doesnt water down...more often than id like they hand me a fully iced drink and i have to hand it back....how hard is it to do less work

  13. #53

    My brother once told me about a girl who was listening in on a conversation he had with a dude in class:

    Dude: Wanna come over tonight and watch the champions league game?
    Bro: Who's playing tonight?
    Dude: Real Madrid - Inter Milan.
    Bro: Sweet!

    At this point the girl says to my brother:

    "Wow, I never heard about a soccer match with 4 teams in it!"

  14. #54
    Sea Torques
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    A while back my friend's and I were driving back from a restaurant. As we are driving we see a truck take out a power line pole, thus dropping the power lines across the whole street. So I stop the truck dial 911 and tell the operator what happened.

    Me: A truck just hit a power pole and the lines are down.
    Operator: Ok. Where did this happen?
    Me: Florin at Fruitridge
    Operator: Ok. Are the power lines live?

    Really? You think I'm going to get close enough to check on them? I don't know if they bounce around live like they do in the movies but I'm sure as hell not going to risk it. Almost wanted to respond with "Hold on, hey go check if those lines are live. Hey operator we need EMT here too."

  15. #55
    listen!
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    Did we really need a thread for people to post their fast food orders in?

  16. #56
    okay guy I guess
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    Oh man I've got a pretty good fail, like a minute ago I was reading this thread on an internet forum and some moron came in just to complain about people posting in a thread that no one was making him read.

  17. #57
    listen!
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    Quote Originally Posted by Qalbert View Post
    Oh man I've got a pretty good fail, like a minute ago I was reading this thread on an internet forum and some moron came in just to complain about people posting in a thread that no one was making him read.
    Man, what a loser. I hope you made a good post calling him out on that.

  18. #58
    BG Content
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    Quote Originally Posted by hey View Post
    Man, what a loser. I hope you made a good post calling him out on that.
    He did, iLOLed.

  19. #59
    king future
    King Past of the House of Weave

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    I have a good one... so I work in a lab where we take orders over the phone from the same people every day. One of our accounts has a notoriously retarded woman working there... she calls me up and the conversation goes:

    Me: "thank you for calling blah blah blah"
    Her: "Hi...... (long pause)...... is it.... today?"
    Me: "Yes"
    Her: "Thanks."

    click.

  20. #60
    HABS SUCK!!!!!
    Sepukku is my Hero
    Therrien's Cum Dumpster

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    Quote Originally Posted by Qalbert View Post
    Oh man I've got a pretty good fail, like a minute ago I was reading this thread on an internet forum and some moron came in just to complain about people posting in a thread that no one was making him read.
    Holy shit, i cant believe some people are that dumb. 10/10