not sure why I thought that would help
I stopped posting at work so I could actually get work done, its a joke Isla will understand atleast
My baby son just took a big shit inside is diaper and my wife was procrastinating on changing in. She was playing some facebook game while he was on her lap. "I'll just be a sec, almost done with with round." Little man starts bouncing and does with really hard and forceful bounce. He wasn't wearing pants, so the shit came out from the back of his diaper and shot up at my wife's chin/mouth. Funniest thing I've ever seen. Not some huge spray of shit, but enough to get her to change him/shower.
@KFC a Chinese tourist stood next to me while ordering
(I'm also Chinese, by the way, so I saw the funny side)
Tourist: I want... uh... your 2 piece variety meal
KFCgirl: sure, what drink?
Tourist: Wait! What parts of chicken you get in that?
KFCgirl: breast or thigh, also 2 chicken strips, and a wing
Tourist: ok but NO FEET, right?
He said no feet quite loudly and very fast, causing me to turn to the side to hold my laughter in.
The idea of KFC feet though did make me intrigued.
(Incase anyone doesn't know, the feet doesn't really contain any meat... only skin and a tiny bit of meat. In short, if they gave him feet with it, it would be an insult to him in that he would think "i wasted £4.99 for FEET?!")
I got a fail.
So, a few weeks ago I was in Fargo, North Dakota for a Magic The Gathering PTQ. Now, I left at 4am and forgot to exchange my Canadian Currency for American. I get there, no store accepts Canadian. Go to the local bank, ask for it to be exchanged. Guy takes my money, gives me money back. Then asks what my account was. Told him, I didn't have one and I was only in the states for a day.
Tells me to wait a minute, walks away to find his manager, asks him what to do. Comes back, demands that I give the money back and gives me shit about how I mislead him into thinking I had an account.
I was just like "But...you gave me the money. I can walk out right now" then threatens me with the police. I don't think he could have but I was tired from driving all night and didn't want to deal with a bunch of shit. Gave the money back, got my Canadian money back and was fucked for the rest of the day.
Be at work... Customer orders 2 drinks: diet coke and a sprite
"which ones the coke and which is the sprite?"
On another forum the wife and I frequent, there is this girl we have friended but don't really know why since she's pants on head retarded. She makes a post gloating about how awesome it is that she learned how to properly smoke a cig by googling it. Oh to be that dumb and naive.
I drink soda a lot...but not quickly and i always order from fast food with no ice so it doesnt water down...more often than id like they hand me a fully iced drink and i have to hand it back....how hard is it to do less work
My brother once told me about a girl who was listening in on a conversation he had with a dude in class:
Dude: Wanna come over tonight and watch the champions league game?
Bro: Who's playing tonight?
Dude: Real Madrid - Inter Milan.
At this point the girl says to my brother:
"Wow, I never heard about a soccer match with 4 teams in it!"
A while back my friend's and I were driving back from a restaurant. As we are driving we see a truck take out a power line pole, thus dropping the power lines across the whole street. So I stop the truck dial 911 and tell the operator what happened.
Me: A truck just hit a power pole and the lines are down.
Operator: Ok. Where did this happen?
Me: Florin at Fruitridge
Operator: Ok. Are the power lines live?
Really? You think I'm going to get close enough to check on them? I don't know if they bounce around live like they do in the movies but I'm sure as hell not going to risk it. Almost wanted to respond with "Hold on, hey go check if those lines are live. Hey operator we need EMT here too."
Did we really need a thread for people to post their fast food orders in?
Oh man I've got a pretty good fail, like a minute ago I was reading this thread on an internet forum and some moron came in just to complain about people posting in a thread that no one was making him read.
I have a good one... so I work in a lab where we take orders over the phone from the same people every day. One of our accounts has a notoriously retarded woman working there... she calls me up and the conversation goes:
Me: "thank you for calling blah blah blah"
Her: "Hi...... (long pause)...... is it.... today?"