Random Fail: First World Problems

[Guitarman]

Those cat stories crack me up. I had a grey and white tabby when I was a kid that would eviscerate opossums constantly. The family would go out to a movie and when we got back there's a 20lb opossum with its throat slit open on our front doorstep, with my cat looking all pleased. Fucker was a beast, had visible arm muscles and everything. I miss him.

[AidenCarby]

Boiler's busted, have to shower at work :/

[Moss]

apt complex "accidentally" left an eviction notice on my door telling me I had 3 days to gtfo. it was their fault completely and they barely apologized

[BaneTheBrawler]

you should be thanking them for not evicting you peasant

[Acevalefor]

Bane, what does it mean when a normally healthy digestive system suddenly goes on the fritz and won't digest foo at all for over a week? Still moving, but the food us coming out as it went in.

[BaneTheBrawler]

it means you should DEFINITELY talk to your doctor about it. in the mean time, i found this list that might help.

Here are some top tips to energize your enzymes.

Chew your food. I’m serious. It sounds stupid, but chew your bleeping food. I see it all around me people swallowing their food whole like it’s their last supper. Stop it. Stop it right now. You release important enzymes (amylase) in your mouth so chew and grind that food nice and slow before you swallow. Quick fact: Did you know that you produce about 1.7 liters of saliva each day?
Don’t chew gum. It fools your body into thinking it’s digesting something and wastes your enzymes.
Boost your stomach acid – once again read the previous post here, and follow the suggestions listed.
Eat smaller portions.
Consume more raw foods.
Digestive enzyme supplements. Taking a supplement with a wide range of enzymes will help ease the burden on the body to digest food while you heal the digestive tract. Try to look for enzymes with HCl and bile to digest fats, especially if you consume animal protein. (Talk to your healthcare provider about which supplement is right for you)
Come in for a colonic! Let’s see if I can identify the salad you had for lunch and we can talk more about enzymes
Note: Eat a mostly raw diet and still find you aren’t digesting properly? It could be low stomach acid, or you might not be assimilating enough protein from your food. We need adequate amino acids from protein to make enzymes!

You can try that stuff whenever, but you should call your doctor and mention the problem immediately. He knows your case and various risks. I do not recommend taking supplements without a medical opinion.

In my case, passing undigested food happens because my guts are operating so quickly there's no time for it to be completely digested, but it's usually not recognizable, aside from the more durable things like nuts.

For a normally healthy person, the first place I would look is any changes you've made. Eating something new? Exercising more/less? Hanging out in new places? New job? Taking new medications? Antibiotics?

However, diet is the single biggest factor in what comes out of your butt. Definitely my first suspect.

[Acevalefor]

it means you should DEFINITELY talk to your doctor about it. in the mean time, i found this list that might help.



You can try that stuff whenever, but you should call your doctor and mention the problem immediately. He knows your case and various risks. I do not recommend taking supplements without a medical opinion.

In my case, passing undigested food happens because my guts are operating so quickly there's no time for it to be completely digested, but it's usually not recognizable, aside from the more durable things like nuts.

For a normally healthy person, the first place I would look is any changes you've made. Eating something new? Exercising more/less? Hanging out in new places? New job? Taking new medications? Antibiotics?

However, diet is the single biggest factor in what comes out of your butt. Definitely my first suspect.

Thanks for the info. It's one of my boys having this problem, not me. We will take him to the doctor tomorrow. I tried to do some research, and of course as with any online medical stuff, either it is nothing and he is fine, or he is going to die if you don't perform emergency surgery with a kitchen knife RIGHT NOW!!!OMG

[BaneTheBrawler]

well at least i don't need to worry about you not mentioning it to the doctor, then!

Keep an eye on his energy/activity levels, weight, and appetite, if you can. as long as those remain normal, he should still be taking in enough nutrients. Even if he's not, starving isn't a quick process. Whatever's wrong, you have time to work on it. But tomorrow is an excellent time to start.

edit: oh, watch for blood, too. it'll show up as bright red and runny, dull red and gelatinous, or black and solid. If there is any, make a note of the type. Take pictures, even! You might want to do that even if there's no blood. Poop, any blood in it, and their colors tell you some important things about what's going on inside you, but they can be specific to the person. Definitely suggest taking pictures. Or a sample, but samples are considerably more complicated and tbh you're better off with a stool sample kit.

[MaachaQ]

We're having to close our Cat Cafe before the end of the month; business since summer has been dreadfully slow and we can't afford to keep open any longer in hopes of an upturn. I now need to find homes for most of the cats because we already have 7 cats at home (our show and breeding cats) and cannot possibly bring in 20 more. We can't just give them away either; they are mostly pedigree cats that we paid upwards of $1k for, and we need to money to pay back some of the debt our business has taken on or we could lose our home too...

[Coren]

That sucks about the business. Good luck.

In other first world problems news, my bosses have been getting on me about my "continued tardiness" at work. I reliably roll in within 5 minutes of my start time, and then stay 10-15 at the end of the day to make up for it. So I resolve this week to turn over a new leaf. Monday was a vacation day. Yesterday I roll in 15 min late due to voting in the AM. So today, I decide I'll leave for work 15 min early (only about a 12 min drive) to make DAMN sure I'm there on time... First there's blocked lanes due to changing out street lamps, and then there's some major pile-up on the interstate with 6-7 miles of backed up traffic. After a few too many back roads, I roll in 5 min late anyway. So I figure I'll just come back from lunch early. Of course not; the idiot in front of me at the light manages to sit too far back from the sensor. We wait through 4 full cycles (2 min each) before I finally jump a curb and go around him. And then I'm 5 min late from lunch. UGHHH. /firstworldproblems

[Quixon]

I've had my son at work from about 11:30am - 3:30 PM M-F for the past couple weeks. Roughly 2 Months old.

He took a massive shit so I start changing him on the desk. He proceeds to shit once again once the diaper is off, all over my price sheets. -_-

[zoobernut]

I've had my son at work from about 11:30am - 3:30 PM M-F for the past couple weeks. Roughly 2 Months old.

He took a massive shit so I start changing him on the desk. He proceeds to shit once again once the diaper is off, all over my price sheets. -_-

Hahahaha *breath* hahahaha

Welcome to parenthood. Gotta be quick with those diapers. I always get the next one ready before I take the first one off.

[Ksandra]

always put a new diaper under the baby before changing!

[Aksannyi]

Rite of passage.

Kind of like being killed by a UFO in Sea the first time you go there, everyone has to be pooped on at least once by their offspring. lol

[Quixon]

Diaper was at the ready. I would of needed to be Bruce Lee-eqsue to hit this one in time. It was rather forcefull too. He's a breastfed baby still, so his shits are basically all Sharts.... with varying degrees of intensity. This one was near the top of the Shart Chart for sure.


I slide the diaper under him, and he basically launched a shart clear over the diaper. The new diaper had 2 little drips of mustard crap, everything else landed 3-4" past the far edge of the diaper all over my paperwork lol.

[Ksandra]

lmao ok yeah that's pretty hard to catch

[Cream Soda]

edit: lol didn't even type in my post

[Brill Weave]

always put a new diaper under the baby before changing!

Nah, fuck that shit. Live dangerously man. I haven't done that since day one and I've yet to have him poop or pee. My wife does it and he instantly starts peeing. Pretty funny imo.

[Anoat]

Unrelated, saw this the other day and thought of you for obvious reasons, Brill.

[Brill Weave]

Unrelated, saw this the other day and thought of you for obvious reasons, Brill.

Man that punk doesn't even have the area code on his van. That's just poor business sense.