Random Fail: First World Problems

**Dimmauk** · 2012-10-15 18:04

I drove my wife's car yesterday and she had 3/4th of a tank of gas. This morning, she says she had 1/4th! Then I noticed her gas cap light was on too. Apparently, someone fucking stole her gas last night. Ain't that some crazy mad max bullshit?! WTF?!

**Kuishen** · 2012-10-15 18:15

Originally Posted by Eurell

So I'm walking my dog around the block, and one of my neighbors comes down the street and parks her car right next to me. It was fucking horrible. She was like, half on the curb, and half still out in the street. Right in a blind spot around the corner too, could have easily caused an accident.

So she gets out and comes to pet my dogs, her husband is with her, and I'm like, you might wanna move your car, You don't want it go get hit or anything. She goes off on me, saying something about how she's 7 months pregnant and can do w/e the fuck she wants. So i just take my dog and walk the fuck away, I may have called her white trash or something as I left. Whole time her husband doesn't say a damn thing.

About 10 minutes later I'm omw back home, and pass by their house again, on the other side of the street.. The car is still out in the middle of the goddamn road. Her husband sees me, and jumps in the car. Throws it in reverse, spins it around, then comes right at me. He ends up jumping the curb and nearly killing me and my fucking dog. Then he just stares at me, doesn't say a goddamn word. Puts the car in reverse, pulls it back out into the middle of the street and parks it again.

What in the flying fuck

Laughed heartily. Should have taken pictures of the parking job.

**Kerberoz** · 2012-10-15 18:21

Originally Posted by Dimmauk

I drove my wife's car yesterday and she had 3/4th of a tank of gas. This morning, she says she had 1/4th! Then I noticed her gas cap light was on too. Apparently, someone fucking stole her gas last night. Ain't that some crazy mad max bullshit?! WTF?!

www.amazon.com/s/search&field-keywords=fuel cap lock

**BaneTheBrawler** · 2012-10-15 22:23

We had our dump-truck parked at a friend's place of business over the winter (he runs a landscaping company, so in winter, it's just empty space) and someone siphoned all the gas out. Not only that, but they also broke their fucking siphon off in the tank, so when we went to put more gas in, we had to fish that goddamn chunk of shitty plastic tubing out in the middle of a freezing cold minnesota snowstorm. AND dig through the snow to find the gas cap, which they dropped on the ground.

**BaneTheBrawler** · 2012-10-16 00:02

a small town near Rochester

Edit: right in town, too. Not out on the edge or anything.

**Dimmauk** · 2012-10-16 08:15

My son's first Birthday was yesterday. We went to Dollar General to get helium balloons and they said they couldnt blow them up cause they had no helium. So we go to Party City, and they say the same thing. Appreantly, there is a helium shortage, and nobody has helium.

I blame Obama and Romney, Jews, Felix and Red Bull.

**zoobernut** · 2012-10-16 12:01

Originally Posted by Dimmauk

My son's first Birthday was yesterday. We went to Dollar General to get helium balloons and they said they couldnt blow them up cause they had no helium. So we go to Party City, and they say the same thing. Appreantly, there is a helium shortage, and nobody has helium.

I blame Obama and Romney, Jews, Felix and Red Bull.

I remember when helium was super cheap but now it is getting prohibitively expensive. We had a similar experience over the summer when my buddy and I wanted to build a remote control blimp and the helium to fill it would have cost about $300 or more each time to fill.

**Ksandra** · 2012-10-16 12:16

Originally Posted by Eurell

So I'm walking my dog around the block, and one of my neighbors comes down the street and parks her car right next to me. It was fucking horrible. She was like, half on the curb, and half still out in the street. Right in a blind spot around the corner too, could have easily caused an accident.

So she gets out and comes to pet my dogs, her husband is with her, and I'm like, you might wanna move your car, You don't want it go get hit or anything. She goes off on me, saying something about how she's 7 months pregnant and can do w/e the fuck she wants. So i just take my dog and walk the fuck away, I may have called her white trash or something as I left. Whole time her husband doesn't say a damn thing.

About 10 minutes later I'm omw back home, and pass by their house again, on the other side of the street.. The car is still out in the middle of the goddamn road. Her husband sees me, and jumps in the car. Throws it in reverse, spins it around, then comes right at me. He ends up jumping the curb and nearly killing me and my fucking dog. Then he just stares at me, doesn't say a goddamn word. Puts the car in reverse, pulls it back out into the middle of the street and parks it again.

What in the flying fuck

you, sir, win ten internets.

**Brill Weave** · 2012-10-16 12:25

I was crying when I was reading that shit.

**Dimmauk** · 2012-10-16 12:27

Originally Posted by Eurell

So I'm walking my dog around the block, and one of my neighbors comes down the street and parks her car right next to me. It was fucking horrible. She was like, half on the curb, and half still out in the street. Right in a blind spot around the corner too, could have easily caused an accident.

So she gets out and comes to pet my dogs, her husband is with her, and I'm like, you might wanna move your car, You don't want it go get hit or anything. She goes off on me, saying something about how she's 7 months pregnant and can do w/e the fuck she wants. So i just take my dog and walk the fuck away, I may have called her white trash or something as I left. Whole time her husband doesn't say a damn thing.

About 10 minutes later I'm omw back home, and pass by their house again, on the other side of the street.. The car is still out in the middle of the goddamn road. Her husband sees me, and jumps in the car. Throws it in reverse, spins it around, then comes right at me. He ends up jumping the curb and nearly killing me and my fucking dog. Then he just stares at me, doesn't say a goddamn word. Puts the car in reverse, pulls it back out into the middle of the street and parks it again.

What in the flying fuck

LOL.

**AidenCarby** · 2012-10-16 12:43

Originally Posted by RKenshin

Reminds me of something similar.

This is like five years ago now. One of courses was basically 4 different grades: a presentation, a debate, a report, and a final exam. That's it. No make-ups, extra credit, or extended deadlines.

We were all assigned a presentation date on the first day of class, and were told to do our own independent study leading up to it. My date was a few months in. There is no missing your presentation date, apart from 2+ weeks notice and written note (doctor, or whatever). Has to be formal, sourced/MMA format, 15 minutes long, in business formal attire.

The day of my presentation, I wake up at 12 and do a quick check to see what is due for class. Completely forgot it was my day, I haven't done shit, and class starts at 1 PM. My presentation has to be about a very specific 4-hour podcast.

I've never pulled so much shit out of my ass so fast in my life. I literally listened to maybe 15 minutes of the podcast, spent the rest of the time googling my way into bullshit, and acted like I knew what I was talking about for 15 minutes. Somehow still got an A.

Was the absolute worst, lol. I ended up not reading the book and sparknoting and googling my ass off too, got a B+ with barely just missing the page requirement on the report itself. I needless to say I got home from class at 1pm, slept until damn near midnight.

**Byrthnoth** · 2012-10-16 14:55

Originally Posted by zoobernut

I remember when helium was super cheap but now it is getting prohibitively expensive. We had a similar experience over the summer when my buddy and I wanted to build a remote control blimp and the helium to fill it would have cost about $300 or more each time to fill.

The tragedy here isn't that there are no balloons for a birthday a kid won't remember and no blimps for your buddy to fly around.

The real tragedy is that no one will ever be able to go ballooning in a lawn chair again because they won't be able to afford that much Helium.

**Dimmauk** · 2012-10-16 14:59

I forgot to blame chipmunks and Disney for the national helium crisis. I hope someone asks the candidates how they can fix it if they are elected.

**Dimmauk** · 2012-10-16 15:00

I forgot to blame chipmunks and Disney for the national helium crisis. I hope someone asks the candidates how they can fix it if they are elected.

**Aphmau** · 2012-10-17 22:15

I forgot what those bags called are that hold the leaves you rake up; these aren't the ordinary bags you put the leaves in, these bags are the bags that look like pumpkins when filled. I called Lowes asking for them today and just babbled pretty much the sentence above.

I can't rake my leaves without those bags.
If I rake them now without the bags they'll just blow back onto the lawn.
If I rake them and put them in an ordinary leaf holder bag it will look tacky and I don't want a leaf bag in my garage.
I've looked all over town for those stupid bags for leaves that look like pumpkins.

Oy.

**Airenn** · 2012-10-17 23:44

http://www.google.com/imgres?imgurl=...9QEwAw&dur=322

?

**Mojo** · 2012-10-18 00:21

Originally Posted by Dimmauk

My son's first Birthday was yesterday. We went to Dollar General to get helium balloons and they said they couldnt blow them up cause they had no helium. So we go to Party City, and they say the same thing. Appreantly, there is a helium shortage, and nobody has helium.

I blame Obama and Romney, Jews, Felix and Red Bull.

My friend used to work produce at a grocery store. Floral handled balloons, but when they weren't around, it was delegated to the checkers who often then delegated it to my friend. I believe years of produce work had eroded away his good nature and twisted him into a resentful curmudgeon. This task pissed him off more than anything. He told me that nothing gave him more joy than informing a customer that their kid couldn't have balloons for their birthday party.

**thetruepandagod** · 2012-10-18 00:27

Originally Posted by Dimmauk

My son's first Birthday was yesterday. We went to Dollar General to get helium balloons and they said they couldnt blow them up cause they had no helium. So we go to Party City, and they say the same thing. Appreantly, there is a helium shortage, and nobody has helium.

I blame Obama and Romney, Jews, Felix and Red Bull.

Helium is actually extremely rare and most of the scientific community hates the US because they are trying to get rid of all of their helium supplies by 2015, also most scientific communities expect us to use up all helium on the earth in the next 40 years or less.

**Kerberoz** · 2012-10-18 00:41

Watch the general public start caring about space exploration again when we run out of helium balloons.

**Aksannyi** · 2012-10-18 00:43

Saddened to think that future generations will not have the chance to suck in helium and sound like a chipmunk for the lulz.

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