Random Fail: First World Problems

**jmc** · 2015-01-31 23:55

Originally Posted by Xno Kappa

EMS had already arrived and took him to the hospital by the time I showed up to process the scene. First scene I can say I dealt with arterial blood spray patterns though lol. Confused the shit outta me at first, but now I see why it made sense because he ultimately did it standing up with one of those construction tape type scissors. He was pissing blood on the walls without his unit lmao.

Haven't talked to the "victim" yet for obvious reasons, but everyone else including his partner I've spoken with I can say with certainty that a lot of 80's style gay loving was been going on with a number of people. Dude just got brought in for his first time and wanted to I guess you can say "contribute" to the drugs involved.

On next weeks episode of NCIS......

**Xno Kappa** · 2015-02-01 00:59

It's hilarious cuz the whole NCIS nonsense was originally supposed to be CID. Army said no and Navy said "how much can we get!?"

**BaneTheBrawler** · 2015-02-01 03:11

incoming poop story

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and thats why mozarella is back off the menu.

**Dareus** · 2015-02-01 03:15

10/10. Add a dragon or trolloc and I think you have a Award winning fantasy novel.

**Zetanio** · 2015-02-01 06:38

Originally Posted by BaneTheBrawler

incoming poop story

Register to see the NSFW content

and thats why mozarella is back off the menu.

What kind of juice? Too much of that will make you shit uncontrollably.

**Aksannyi** · 2015-02-01 08:53

Confirmed for shit mod.

**BaneTheBrawler** · 2015-02-01 16:06

Originally Posted by Zetanio

What kind of juice? Too much of that will make you shit uncontrollably.

bitch please, think i dont know that? been doin this for 10 years.

besides, i was literally on the verge of losing consciousness. at that point getting nutrients and fluids is far, far more important than maybe having too much sugar. which is hard to do with this juice anyway; low sugar. it never upsets my guts, either. hence reliable.

Spoiler: show

**Zetanio** · 2015-02-01 16:12

I also love juice, was curious what kind of juice too.

**BaneTheBrawler** · 2015-02-01 16:23

Ocean Spray Cran-Lemonade. I love it. Has more sugar than I remembered, but I can still feel when I'm at my limit.

**Aksannyi** · 2015-02-02 00:20

My fault for procrastinating (and seriously who the fuck assigns something due Super Bowl Sunday anyway) but I clicked "submit" at 23:58, file was huge so it took a while, and as it submitted, the clock ticked over to 00:00.

It was due at 23:59, btw. Shit though. I hope she gives me that one anyway.

**Anoat** · 2015-02-02 16:14

You know that feeling when you lick your lips and even though you can't see it yet you can FEEL there is a cold sore forming? Yeah, fuck that feeling. And fuck my soon to be cold sore lip!

**Abandon** · 2015-02-02 16:16

enjoy your herpes

**NynJa** · 2015-02-02 18:50

Originally Posted by Anoat

You know that feeling when you lick your lips and even though you can't see it yet you can FEEL there is a cold sore forming? Yeah, fuck that feeling. And fuck my soon to be cold sore lip!

git dat abreva

**Aksannyi** · 2015-02-02 18:59

Cold sore or canker sore? A lot of people think they're the same, but they're not. Canker sores are painful little fuckers, so if you have one of those, godspeed man.

**Cream Soda** · 2015-02-02 19:56

Shoulder has been killing me on and off this last month. Damn bus finally catching up to me.

**Charismatic** · 2015-02-02 20:14

Originally Posted by Cream Soda

Damn bus finally catching up to me.

dis nigga fast than a mofo

**Brill Weave** · 2015-02-02 20:49

Noah has a rash that turns out to be something called molluscum contagiosum. Take him to a children's dermatologist and they say it's very common and easy to treat. They give us two topical creams. One is an irritant meant to accelerate the healing process and the other is an antibiotic for any of the inflamed spots. I put the cream on him twice yesterday with no issues. The wife puts it on him this morning and she fucking loaded him up. His stomach is beat red and he is miserable. I asked how much she put on him and she said she just lathered him up. I'm looking at her like she's fucking insane right now. Poor little dude.

**BerenTebogo** · 2015-02-02 20:54

Originally Posted by Brill Weave

Noah has a rash that turns out to be something called molluscum contagiosum. Take him to a children's dermatologist and they say it's very common and easy to treat. They give us two topical creams. One is an irritant meant to accelerate the healing process and the other is an antibiotic for any of the inflamed spots. I put the cream on him twice yesterday with no issues. The wife puts it on him this morning and she fucking loaded him up. His stomach is beat red and he is miserable. I asked how much she put on him and she said she just lathered him up. I'm looking at her like she's fucking insane right now. Poor little dude.

From the stories I've actually read your wife sounds fucking retarded and should be banned from being within 50ft of your kids at all time.

**Brill Weave** · 2015-02-02 21:15

Originally Posted by SathFenrir

From the stories I've actually read your wife sounds fucking retarded and should be banned from being within 50ft of your kids at all time.

To be fair she didn't know the cream is an irritant. She just saw me dabbing it on last night and I guess assumed it was ok to load him up. Though I think you might be thinking of the stories I've posted about her sister. She's a fucking idiot. My wife is actually a great mom. A few hiccups here and there but otherwise she's been awesome.

The reason I was looking at her like she was nuts is because she ALWAYS reads everything about a medicine we're giving him. This is the one time she didn't. Now she feels awful.

**Cream Soda** · 2015-02-02 21:20

Can't really defend that shit Brill. I'm assuming the tube the cream was in had instructions on it?

Thread: Random Fail: First World Problems

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