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  1. #61
    Brown Recluse
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    Quote Originally Posted by Guyverarmor View Post
    I drink soda all the time, it's bad as hell trying to stop drinking it.

    Fail of the day : Go to McDonalds and ask for the Crispy Chicken Sammich without tomato. Get the sammich, and I not only have tomato on there, but they
    did not put any chicken on it -_-
    Quote Originally Posted by Dimmauk View Post
    My favorite fail was when I ordered a Carl's Jr dry (put condiments on when I get home to avoid soggy buns) Get home, open Burger to find no fucking meat! LOL
    Looks like the guy from Carl's Jr works at McDonald's now. Which McDonald's was it at?

  2. #62
    The 69th Donor
    Pens win! Pens Win!!! PENS WIN!!!!!

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    I work for a large security agency's dispatch.

    We had a lady on one of our properties call the cops because maintenance put a used ice cube tray in her fridge. Oh, how I wish I was joking.

    We get a lot of stupid calls, too, but that one stands out as the dumbest.

  3. #63
    I am by far the worst poster in most threads, including Olroy and Mazmaz. I go from 0 to Mad in 0.6 seconds. Also, 8==============D
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    was sleepy @ 8pm but was too early to go to sleep, so i stayed awake.

    then when it was time for bed I couldn't fall asleep.

    drank 1/2 of a neurosleep @ midnight.

    http://www4.images.coolspotters.com/...nk-profile.png

    woke up feeling sleepy and have felt sleepy at work all day

  4. #64

    I got one from today:

    Guy I'm friends with on Facebook posted bragging about how he changed what his child was watching from Dora to Spongebob because Dora had the audacity (my word, not his, I doubt he knows what audacity means) to teach his kid words in Spanish.

    I posted this in reply: Study Says Kids Watching Spongebob Have Trouble Paying Attention

  5. #65
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    Scheduled to work at 10am this morning. GM calls @6am in a panic b/c the RM is making a visit later and wants me there asap. So in my rush I spaced out and wore my old shitty vans instead of my steel-toed work boots.

    Fast forward 2hrs. I roll a pallet jack carrying 288gallons of milk onto my foot. Broke a few bones.

    Mondays rock.

  6. #66
    I am by far the worst poster in most threads, including Olroy and Mazmaz. I go from 0 to Mad in 0.6 seconds. Also, 8==============D
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    fyl bro i'm sorry. pallet went to war with my foot once and i lost my big toe nail

  7. #67
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    Quote Originally Posted by Gadritan View Post
    Scheduled to work at 10am this morning. GM calls @6am in a panic b/c the RM is making a visit later and wants me there asap. So in my rush I spaced out and wore my old shitty vans instead of my steel-toed work boots.

    Fast forward 2hrs. I roll a pallet jack carrying 288gallons of milk onto my foot. Broke a few bones.

    Mondays rock.
    That blows. When I was working construction steel toe boots were not mandatory but I got them anyway, they were heavy as all hell and sucked on really long work days but I was so glad I had them the one time someone set a pallet of concrete sacks down on my foot with the forklift on accident.

    Edit: wow I meant foot not food... fail.

  8. #68
    okay guy I guess
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    Quote Originally Posted by zoobernut View Post
    That blows. When I was working construction steel toe boots were not mandatory but I got them anyway, they were heavy as all hell and sucked on really long work days but I was so glad I had them the one time someone set a pallet of concrete sacks down on my food with the forklift on accident.
    did you use the steel toed boots to kick the guy's ass for crushing your lunch?

  9. #69
    I'm more gentle than I look.
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    Ouch, sorry about the foot

  10. #70
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    Wtf is Neurosleep? Besides apparently a coma in a bottle.

  11. #71
    You wouldn't know that though because you've demonstrably never picked up a book nor educated yourself on the matter. Let me guess, overweight housewife?
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    Quote Originally Posted by Gadritan View Post
    Scheduled to work at 10am this morning. GM calls @6am in a panic b/c the RM is making a visit later and wants me there asap. So in my rush I spaced out and wore my old shitty vans instead of my steel-toed work boots.

    Fast forward 2hrs. I roll a pallet jack carrying 288gallons of milk onto my foot. Broke a few bones.

    Mondays rock.
    OUCH

  12. #72

    So, I called up Jimmy Johns about a year ago. I'm like Qalbert, so I order a JJ Gargantuan (It is all the meats they have except for bacon) without veggies or mayo because I don't like mayo and there's not enough room for veggies on that sandwich. I get a sandwich with only bacon on it. They thought I said JJ BLT...(without veggies or mayo)

  13. #73
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    I work at a hardware store, so I get my share of complete and utter idiots all the time.

    This last Christmas I had a woman come in looking for a male-male extension cord because she needed to attach two strings of Christmas lights together. Yes, they already put the lights on the house.

  14. #74
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    Quote Originally Posted by Aksannyi
    I work for a large security agency's dispatch.

    We had a lady on one of our properties call the cops because maintenance put a used ice cube tray in her fridge. Oh, how I wish I was joking.

    We get a lot of stupid calls, too, but that one stands out as the dumbest.
    Can relate to this. Can relate to this today actually!

    I primarily work in the drug enforcement section of my department. We don't usually get calls for service like normal patrol but occasionally when a situation calls for plainclothes, we'll get a radio call. Well today we get a call on our city-wide alert for the VICE unit in my service area.

    So the Sergeant marks up and says a gentleman called 911 specifically asking for the narcotics division because he believes someone is secretly breaking in to his greenhouse and growing plants that are drugs. Get on scene and he says it's a bunch of kids breaking in his greenhouse planting drugs but he knows what he grows and he knows they're drugs because they're colorful. Go in back to the greenhouse (it's an in-ground shed basically with saran-wrap windows with a small 6x6 patch of dirt he calls his garden) and check it out. See nice neat rows of veggies all labled and he points out the "drugs". Every so often there's a small yellow flower poking out. I said to the guy "Those are dandelions." and he says "Check your book. That shit is drugs! I don't plant them damn things."

    Spent almost an hour explaining they're weeds and that it's something you can take care of with routine upkeep etc. etc. (mind you this guys about 80). Spent another 2 hours doing a formal statement for a complaint made by the gentleman because we didn't take care of the drug problem in his own yard. Went outside to go back to my district and a guy from Internal Affairs hit the side of my unmarked with his station wagon. It was the same guy I gave the statement to. Fuck life.

  15. #75
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tekki View Post
    Overheard a conversation about movies coming out this year.

    "Have you seen the trailer for Prometheus? Looks like a straight Aliens rip off. I can't believe how unoriginal Hollywood can be sometimes"

    Couldn't help but tell him "you know thats a Ridley Scott movie, and based on the space jockey you see in the first Aliens, right?"

    The "Ohhhhhhhh!" face look on is face was priceless.
    I remember going to see Ninja Assassin in theaters with some friends and while walking through the parking lot we were joking about how the movie would be awesome because title of the movie told us exactly what to expect and there'd be no way anyone could not know what this movie was about. We get inside to buy tickets and there was this group of teenage girls on line next to us and when we asked the teller for tickets the girls looked at us and asked us what the movie was about. Even the ticket guy had this "are you serious?" look on his face.

    The only response any of us could muster was my friend going "It's about ninja assassins."

  16. #76
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    Quote Originally Posted by Qeomash View Post
    I work at a hardware store, so I get my share of complete and utter idiots all the time.

    This last Christmas I had a woman come in looking for a male-male extension cord because she needed to attach two strings of Christmas lights together. Yes, they already put the lights on the house.
    This isn't an illogical thing to ask for, and if you think that someone who requests it is a "complete and utter idiot," you're a useless and arrogant dick.

    A complete idiot, I'd say, would be someone who didn't know that extension cords even existed. Someone who asks for a conjoining cord, many of which exist for countless other cord-related applications, understands that there may be a solution to their problem. However, not everyone fully understands why you wouldn't have a male-to-male extension cord of this kind, and the woman presented you with an opportunity to share your knowledge and potentially prevent her and her family from harming themselves.

    I certainly hope you explained why you thought she was a "complete and utter idiot" instead of just saying, "no, those don't exist," and being smug in your douchebaggery.

  17. #77
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    @ The KFC, I was not aware there were KFCs where they sold chicken feet.

    One of my own, waaaay back when, I got a used PC as a gift, managed to format the shit out of it, then because it was so old I could not get any DOS to install properly, it was a brick for a good 8 months since I didn't knew or lived near anyone with access to a computer with 5 1/4 floppies.

  18. #78
    Remit One (1) Custom Title
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kohan View Post
    This isn't an illogical thing to ask for, and if you think that someone who requests it is a "complete and utter idiot," you're a useless and arrogant dick.

    A complete idiot, I'd say, would be someone who didn't know that extension cords even existed. Someone who asks for a conjoining cord, many of which exist for countless other cord-related applications, understands that there may be a solution to their problem. However, not everyone fully understands why you wouldn't have a male-to-male extension cord of this kind, and the woman presented you with an opportunity to share your knowledge and potentially prevent her and her family from harming themselves.

    I certainly hope you explained why you thought she was a "complete and utter idiot" instead of just saying, "no, those don't exist," and being smug in your douchebaggery.
    No, she was not a "complete and utter idiot". I can see how my wording would imply that I thought so. Yes, I told her that such a thing doesn't exist and would likely be a fire hazard and that she would need to switch the lights or find some other way to wire it. That was just the best example I could think of off the top of my hand for what I thought was a stupid/fail request. Stupid because, if they had been thinking before putting them up, they wouldn't have the problem.

  19. #79
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    I accept this explanation, and am glad to hear that you did the right thing.

  20. #80

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    So this asshole at work today used the ice tray in my fucking mini fridge, I went postal on his bitch ass and called the po-po's.