Random Fail: First World Problems

[NynJa]

site farted, delete pls

[Melena]

I've smoked a lot of weed indoors/near smoke detectors and have never set them off. Are you sure it's from the weed and not faulty alarms? It shouldn't set it off unless they're purposely funneling huge bong rips straight into the receptor.

Yup, very sure as our apartment was right next to the stairwell.

[Tokitoki]

Yup, very sure as our apartment was right next to the stairwell.

They were doing it on purpose or your apartment building had some really sensitive detectors. I feel bad for both you and the stoners.

The only time I (we) almost set off a smoke detector was when we dented our beer pong ball and tried to undent it in the microwave because I lost my lighter. It caught fire...

[Anoat]

One time my building's fire alarm was going off because there was a party going on and someone was a dick and pulled the alarm. Fire dept. showed up just to be safe but they couldn't give me the code to turn off the alarm without landlord permission. This was at like 3am so we knew the landlord wouldn't bother showing up until mid afternoon the next day. With a wink the firefighter said to try "1111" because that is the default code and it worked. I got applause from the whole building. Felt good man.

[BaneTheBrawler]

Going on day three of really bad intestinal cramps and gut wrenching diarrhea. This is way worse than my normal IBS and medications do nothing. I feel like I am prepping for a colonoscopy right now.

Bane! What do I do? (I have been taking loperamide which usually works wonders for me)

umm what have you been eating? if meds aint cuttin it, my next thought is diet. high fat/grease, sugar, caffeine, alcohol... all these things are likely culprits. any fever? being sick will do it too. my poops always get more unpleasant when i've got a cold or flu or something.

as for dealing with the symptoms... well youre already doing what i would suggest (loperamide) so how much are you taking? can take up to 2 (2mg pills) at a time 3-4 times a day (max 8 pills) and still be within recommended limit.

you could also use a firm pillow to help alleviate the pain from cramps. especially while pooping. hug it against your abdomen, and if you're pooping focus on NOT pushing. that'll trigger more cramps. try to let the poo (or, more likely, fluid at this point) flow out your butt.

Make sure you stay hydrated and try to eat as much as you can reasonably stomach; if you poop out some stomach acid you're gonna regret it.

[Churchill]

jesus christ spoiler that shit

[zoobernut]

Website Weirdness today.

[zoobernut]

umm what have you been eating? if meds aint cuttin it, my next thought is diet. high fat/grease, sugar, caffeine, alcohol... all these things are likely culprits. any fever? being sick will do it too. my poops always get more unpleasant when i've got a cold or flu or something.

as for dealing with the symptoms... well youre already doing what i would suggest (loperamide) so how much are you taking? can take up to 2 (2mg pills) at a time 3-4 times a day (max 8 pills) and still be within recommended limit.

you could also use a firm pillow to help alleviate the pain from cramps. especially while pooping. hug it against your abdomen, and if you're pooping focus on NOT pushing. that'll trigger more cramps. try to let the poo (or, more likely, fluid at this point) flow out your butt.

Make sure you stay hydrated and try to eat as much as you can reasonably stomach; if you poop out some stomach acid you're gonna regret it.

Yeah I am already at that point. The pain is pretty bad. I am cutting back to only eating Bananas, plain rice, Apples, and toast. I have not been sick and have no other symptoms other than the gastrointestinal. Before today I was eating normal because it isn't stomach related so I am hungry.

[vagus]

Keep that shit locked at night. That'll prevent people like me tossing couches and other shit.

[Melena]

They were doing it on purpose or your apartment building had some really sensitive detectors. I feel bad for both you and the stoners.

The only time I (we) almost set off a smoke detector was when we dented our beer pong ball and tried to undent it in the microwave because I lost my lighter. It caught fire...

Little bit of column A, little bit of column B. When the city passed an ordinance that you could not smoke in a multi dwelling building (condo, apartment, etc) they bought new alarms that were very touchy, and the stoners there weren't even the cool or funny kind.

[BaneTheBrawler]

jesus christ spoiler that shit

no


i'd say go to your doctor, then, zoob.

[Zetanio]

Sounds like a doctor visit is in order. That's not an ordinary poop-related situation.

[synistar]

Go to the doctor. Case and point, my friend had about a month of some bad GI tract issues. Doc diagnoses him with C. Diff. He's on some really hardcore antibiotics. If there's a FWP in that, he hasn't had any alcohol since the diagnosis. He is suffering being sober for the past month.

If the antibiotics do not work. He will probably undergo a poop transplant. Look it up. I'm not explaining it.

[zoobernut]

Thanks everyone. Yeah I will visit the doctor tomorrow if it doesn't improve on the bland diet.

[Aksannyi]

I don't usually have period cramps, but when I do, I want to claw out my innards and set fire to them.

[zoobernut]

I don't usually have period cramps, but when I do, I want to claw out my innards and set fire to them.

I don't have a uterus but I think I can imagine how that must be now. Though after cutting back to plain white rice, bread, and apple sauce the cramping has reduced slightly and I am peeing again rather than just pooping so that is a good sign for stopping dehydration.

[Iono]

I don't usually have period cramps, but when I do, I want to claw out my innards and set fire to them.

Anyone else read this as the most interesting man in the world?

[Aksannyi]

thatsthejoke.jpg

[BaneTheBrawler]

yeah cramping innards aint no fun.

[zoobernut]

Went to the doctor. Doctor thinks it is a viral infection in my intestines. Says to keep doing what I am doing and if it doesn't get better in the next couple days to go back.