Random Fail: First World Problems

[Anoat]

There is no need to be upset etc.

[Zetanio]

[Aksannyi]

On a fail note, went to the fitness center at my apartment complex and both of the fucking treadmills are broken, so I do the exercise bike thing for 10 minutes and then I decide to go back to my apartment and drop off some of the crap I had brought with me (I don't generally go walk/run with water or a towel, it drags me down) so I can go for a real walk and maybe even run a bit and I get halfway to my apartment and it starts pouring.

You win, Florida. I'm gonna do some fucking situps or something.

[BaneTheBrawler]

i thought you were talking about pooping for a moment

[Airenn]

It's cystic fibrosis.

I can't say anything else that hasn't already been said. At least not without incurring the wrath of our resident CF survivor.

[Vandalhart]

You should look into that company that sends bags of poops to people. Set up an annual order with them to send bags of poop to the dealership every three weeks for 4 months. Then do nothing in the 5th month. Just when they think it's over, starting in month six you send them double the order of poop each month.

It wouldn't have the same effect as as a bag of poop. I'm tempted to get a bag for a buddy of mine as a joke.
http://dicksbymail.com/

[Aksannyi]

Oh god I can tell people to eat a bag of dicks and then supply them with one.

[BaneTheBrawler]

not gonna lie, if someone sent me those id eat them as long as the packaging were intact


i like candy

[Anoat]

not gonna lie, if someone sent me those id eat them as long as the packaging were intact


i like candy

I mean, there is a joke somewhere in here about shitting a dick, but I can't place it.

[BaneTheBrawler]

sounds like you lost your shit

[Anoat]

I'll allow it!

[arus2001]

I mean, there is a joke somewhere in here about shitting a dick, but I can't place it.

I dunno, him liking the packages intact is a joke of its own.

[Cantih]

I dunno, him liking the packages intact is a joke of its own.

This explains much about Kuya.

[Petitssk]

Cleaned out the garage, smashing spiders left and right using my bare hands, destroying the megalopolis they appear to have built there. Three of them, however, were different; must have been the largest spiders I've ever seen (German standard, largest one was about the size of my palm, and it wasn't one with a tiny torso and long legs). I killed the third-largest one using a wheel cap because that was the first thing I could grab. The second-largest one escaped the wrath of my shoes and I never saw it again; probably still hiding somewhere.

The largest one, however, dodged the one hit I could get in with the pickaxe I had just picked up and escaped behind a mountain of old bikes and wheels. I saw it one more time a little later; sitting on the wall behind the shelve on the other side of the garage. I couldn't get there, but if spiders could talk, it definitely would have said something like "This isn't over yet" before it went into hiding again.

[Brill Weave]

Don't go to sleep.

[Brill Weave]

Noah's birthday party is today(he's 2.) Wife has to go to a viewing this morning. I have to continue cleaning and decorating. I wake up with a migraine that just went into the ocular migraine stage. Nothing like seeing strobe lights in your right eye.

[Aksannyi]

Cleaned out the garage, smashing spiders left and right using my bare hands, destroying the megalopolis they appear to have built there. Three of them, however, were different; must have been the largest spiders I've ever seen (German standard, largest one was about the size of my palm, and it wasn't one with a tiny torso and long legs). I killed the third-largest one using a wheel cap because that was the first thing I could grab. The second-largest one escaped the wrath of my shoes and I never saw it again; probably still hiding somewhere.

The largest one, however, dodged the one hit I could get in with the pickaxe I had just picked up and escaped behind a mountain of old bikes and wheels. I saw it one more time a little later; sitting on the wall behind the shelve on the other side of the garage. I couldn't get there, but if spiders could talk, it definitely would have said something like "This isn't over yet" before it went into hiding again.

I am so glad that I just woke up and I'm not planning to go to sleep again for several hours because that's the stuff of fucking nightmares.

[Charismatic]

Cleaned out the garage, smashing spiders left and right using my bare hands, destroying the megalopolis they appear to have built there. Three of them, however, were different; must have been the largest spiders I've ever seen (German standard, largest one was about the size of my palm, and it wasn't one with a tiny torso and long legs). I killed the third-largest one using a wheel cap because that was the first thing I could grab. The second-largest one escaped the wrath of my shoes and I never saw it again; probably still hiding somewhere.

The largest one, however, dodged the one hit I could get in with the pickaxe I had just picked up and escaped behind a mountain of old bikes and wheels. I saw it one more time a little later; sitting on the wall behind the shelve on the other side of the garage. I couldn't get there, but if spiders could talk, it definitely would have said something like "This isn't over yet" before it went into hiding again.

You're fucked.
RIP man, was nice knowin' ya. Pretty cool dude and all.

[Pharaun]

Cleaned out the garage, smashing spiders left and right using my bare hands, destroying the megalopolis they appear to have built there. Three of them, however, were different; must have been the largest spiders I've ever seen (German standard, largest one was about the size of my palm, and it wasn't one with a tiny torso and long legs). I killed the third-largest one using a wheel cap because that was the first thing I could grab. The second-largest one escaped the wrath of my shoes and I never saw it again; probably still hiding somewhere.

The largest one, however, dodged the one hit I could get in with the pickaxe I had just picked up and escaped behind a mountain of old bikes and wheels. I saw it one more time a little later; sitting on the wall behind the shelve on the other side of the garage. I couldn't get there, but if spiders could talk, it definitely would have said something like "This isn't over yet" before it went into hiding again.

Just burn the garage down now, it's a lost cause. Your house may be collateral damage, but that's the price you pay to stop the demon spiders.

[Zetanio]

Dude, spiders are supposed to be your friends. You don't fucking anger the gods. Take everyone's advice and burn your fucking house down.