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  1. #101
    Relic Shield
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    Bollocks I tell ya!

    Thanks for that. I'll be speaking with a heavy scottish accent for the rest of tha' day'

  2. #102
    Relic Shield
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    Akama

    Lady at my office is all like "My internet is out, i cant get email all day!" I walk over to her laptop, and notice the wireless is off. I turn it on, set up the password/authentication and get it set. She walks back in, I explain the situation and she said she never used wireless. I then notice the ethernet cord is an inch out of the computer, plug it in, look at her, and walk away.

    2 months later, same lady says the same problem. I walk in, push the ethernet cord in further, walk out, not even a word.

    Year ago or so, her "monitor died". Nobody else could figure out the problem, so they gave her a replacement, I try it, it works. Few months later she say the same thing happened to the replacement, I pull the loose power cord out, push it back in, notice the monitor turn on, walk away.

    Guy gets a virus on his machine, said such and such it wont happen again. 4 months later, another virus, I clean it, happens again 2 weeks after. "But all I do is check my email!" I then check the history and notice various porn sites, foreign sites etc. Called him out on him and yelled at him, and he started begging me not to tell the boss. 4 times in 3 months I had to fix his shit.

    There's that awful fake antivirus thing going around december, and our antivirus system isn't blocking it properly, so I inform everyone in the office not to check personal websites while at work (Usually pretty lenient about it). So this chinese lady gets a virus, I didn't really question it, but had to take it home during christmas break to work on it. I give her the computer back, and 2 days later she has the same thing. I clean it yet again, then notice her searches to chinese popstar / gossip related websites. I ask her why she didn't listen and she said she only searched during break time. /facepalm.


    I have plenty more, but that shall suffice for now

  3. #103
    Sea Torques
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    Last week at work I had an exceptionally retarded girl :
    She asks for a GreyGoose-water with 2 limes, I give it to her, make her pay, and when I give her back the change she lashes out at me and starts giving me shit about how you don't serve a vodka-water with ice since you can't taste the vodka. My answer, accompanied by a massive facepalm : You DO know that ice is frozen water right?

  4. #104

    Deluge water-protection system powered by four turbo diesels was accidentally left on during testing once. 10,000+ GPM of water flooding into the room… scary.

  5. #105
    Groinlonger
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    Fenrir

    retail story

    Old lady: Do these Xbox games play videotapes?

    Me: <Confused look>

  6. #106
    Spiders are Awesome
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    @neuro-sleep shit: melatonin doesn't put you to sleep, just gives you vivid dreams and fucks with your circadian rhythm... you're supposed to take like 0.3mg right before bed at the exact same time every day. Shit's like $16 for 10 grams on Amazon so you're paying a several-thousand-% markup for the drinks.


  7. #107
    New Spam Forum
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    Kirin Tor

    Customer support stories are always the best. Formerly of the technical support dpt of my current company; we do QSR equipment (touch-screen cash registers, receipt printers, etc). Got on the phone with a General manager who reports his touchscreen isn't responding. I go through the whole process, making sure everything checks out, asking him to test the screen after each step with no luck. After a few minutes I confirm everything checks out fine and the guy must be doing something retarded. Ask him again to test the screen and he says something like "Dude, i really don't want to touch it, I'm gonna cut my hand open on all this broken glass". Apparently he forgot to tell me that he had put a bat through the register prior to calling.

    On a non-fail note, I've gotten plenty of gold from these same people. Spent 3 hours on the phone walking a late 50-something year old lady through fixing her entire system following a lightning strike/flood damage. She's in good spirits throughout the whole ordeal and makes jokes about taking me out for margaritas when we're done (her in Texas, me in Pennsylvania). We finish up with everything functional and say our goodbyes. A week later I walk into the office and find a package at my desk with my name and my office's address on it. Inside: two bottles of tequila and margarita mix.

  8. #108
    Yarglebargle
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    Quote Originally Posted by Aristio View Post
    I thought that word was banned on these forums and is viable to get you an infraction?
    Certainly news to me. Have used that word many times in the Walking Dead thread...

  9. #109

    Quote Originally Posted by Ganondorf View Post
    On a non-fail note, I've gotten plenty of gold from these same people. Spent 3 hours on the phone walking a late 50-something year old lady through fixing her entire system following a lightning strike/flood damage. She's in good spirits throughout the whole ordeal and makes jokes about taking me out for margaritas when we're done (her in Texas, me in Pennsylvania). We finish up with everything functional and say our goodbyes. A week later I walk into the office and find a package at my desk with my name and my office's address on it. Inside: two bottles of tequila and margarita mix.
    I think that falls under "random win" and not "random fail"

  10. #110
    You wouldn't know that though because you've demonstrably never picked up a book nor educated yourself on the matter. Let me guess, overweight housewife?
    Join Date
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    Windrunner

    first world problem:

    Bought meat from the deli. It still had on that thin plastic layer that they sometimes forget to remove. I then had to spend forever pulling at every slice of meat to try and take all the plastic off. ffffffffffffffffffuuuuuuuuuuuu

  11. #111
    I Have The Clap Again
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    what a nightmare

  12. #112
    They're just like us
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    Asura

    Lady I just got off the phone with just spent 10 minutes being a miserable bitch to me because her service has never worked since it was installed, wanting a credit. A 3 month credit, and she'd called in exactly once. And then she wanted to disconnect service when I wouldn't credit the account. Because the modem needed to be reset.

    I hate stereotypes, but there are certain cities in the south I brace myself for the stupid.

  13. #113
    Banned.

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    Haomarush

    Quote Originally Posted by hey View Post
    Did we really need a thread for people to post their fast food orders in?
    MAD

  14. #114
    Puppetmaster
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    Watched someone run their truck into the side of an apartment building that was a good thirty feet from the street. Found out later a 13-year-old had kidnapped a 9-year-old and stolen the truck.

  15. #115

    Quote Originally Posted by Mindfox View Post
    Watched someone run their truck into the side of an apartment building that was a good thirty feet from the street. Found out later a 13-year-old had kidnapped a 9-year-old and stolen the truck.
    Shit, when I was joy riding at 13 we knew what the fuck was up. Kids these days

  16. #116
    The 69th Donor
    Pens win! Pens Win!!! PENS WIN!!!!!

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    Kil'jaeden

    Ugh, people are fucking idiots on the roads around here. I don't care where you're from, Tampa has the worst drivers in the fucking universe, and I've been enough places to say this.

    So I'm pulling out of my apartment complex. The exit I'm using is just that - an EXIT, and it's only wide enough for one person to go through at the same time. There's a big fucking sign that says "EXIT ONLY" on it, so I'm sitting there with my left blinker on waiting for a good opportunity to make a left, and some bitch in the lane across the street is looking to make a left in.

    First of all, bitch, not enough space. You're holding up traffic. So I'm like, "Okay, whatever, this bitch is retarded and clearly can't see that she can't get in and would be better off to just go around the block to the actual entrance." But she didn't after like two minutes of me sitting there waiting for an opportunity to go, as the traffic in the lane going to my right was still not clear enough. I've still got some semblance of faith in humanity at this point, when suddenly, someone trying to make a right in the the same exit gate stops, and noses his way in. Or tries to. He actually turns his wheel and has his nose about a foot from mine. Seriously, motherfucker?

    Keep in mind, there is approximately two feet to my left (where he was trying to get in) and approximately three feet to my right. Not enough space for anything but a bike to get through. So I look at this guy like, "SERIOUSLY?!!?!?!?!?!" Not only that, while he was blocking one lane of traffic, the other lane still going to my right was still scooting past at full fucking speed, so it isn't like I can go anywhere.

    So I got dumb bitch in front of me holding traffic up to make an improbable left, and I got dumb asshole to my left trying to make an improbable right. The entire time I'm watching these people continue to hold up traffic - and for fucktard on my left, he could have driven another 50 feet around the corner and then another 50 feet to the other fucking entrance - OH WAIT- the ACTUAL fucking entrance without holding up twenty goddamn cars. Other bitch was SOL, honestly. And at this point, she's so far forward that even if both of the lanes going to the right in front of me had stopped to let me out, I wouldn't have fucking fit.

    I ended up peeling out and making a right, I was so goddamn pissed off. IT'S A FUCKING EXIT GATE, YOU MOTHERFUCKING TWATWAFFLES. Next time I'm just going to start hitting people, consequences be damned, fucking idiots all deserve it.

  17. #117
    New Merits
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    Where in Tampa, really? I'm generally either driving in the Northdale area, or near the stadium, and I agree that it's absolutely horrid.

  18. #118
    The 69th Donor
    Pens win! Pens Win!!! PENS WIN!!!!!

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    Kil'jaeden

    This took place on Waters.

    I work in Pinellas though, so I have to deal with retardation for at least 45 minutes to an hour of my day and it makes me rage so fucking hard.

  19. #119
    New Merits
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    Heh, I got rear ended about a month ago by a Dodge Ram that was going ~60 while I was dead stopped in traffic on 275. Totaled me, pretty cool. Lol.


    Honestly I've had so many horrible experiences with drivers over the year, there's no way I'd be able to think of any in particular to post on a forum. There are just too many.

  20. #120
    The 69th Donor
    Pens win! Pens Win!!! PENS WIN!!!!!

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    Lol, I know. This was just fresh in my mind as it happened today.