Random Fail: First World Problems

[Churchill]

guys how do i open a package, set an oven to 450, then wait 15 min

[Aksannyi]

Damn, you are fucking useless.

Nah, I am good for at least one thing.

[Byrthnoth]

I bought these pre-packaged chicken "slices" (for lack of a better term) that you basically throw in the microwave for a couple minutes and then enjoy. Problem is, there's so much fucking pepper on these things for literally no fucking reason. Like, the pieces of chicken that didn't have any pepper on it (which were tiny pieces) tasted really good and were perfectly tasty. My taste buds are really sensitive so I could barely eat it, which double sucks because I hate wasting food. I really don't understand why they wouldn't just be plain and you can add all of your other spices to your heart's content. I'm gonna just have to buy regular-ass chicken from now on and learn how to cook it because this is ridiculous.

Aks, you're the worst.

To make sure we're all on the same page, you are the worst because you're complaining about the results you obtained when you used a product that looked like a shortcut but probably didn't actually save you any time/money and really just saved you from having to google "how I cook chikin?" Chicken might be simultaneously the easiest thing to cook passably and the hardest thing to cook terribly. Just fucking google it and stop wasting your money/time.

[Charismatic]

Nah, I am good for at least one thing.

You don't even post 'em so I'm not so sure about that.

[jmc]

I am a weak, weak man.

Round 2 tomorrow. Somewhere far less expensive though this time.

[Buffy]

BG expects a good story, and pictures would be preferred.

[mallister]

So, day six of being laid up with DVT, meds are working some so I am able to actually sit up instead of being flat on my back. Still painful to do anything at all, but I can use crutches to get to the bathroom and stuff.

On the sofa, medded up well, and my 60 pound husky unleashes a fart that melted my nose hairs. It was so bad, it woke him from a cold sleep and ran out of the room, wimpering and confused.

wife was at the store, crutches were out of reach...couldn't escape. Had to stew in dogfart hell for 15 minutes. FML.

[Churchill]

fucked a chick the exact same age as me tonight and didn't hate it, what is happening goidonight

[Zetanio]

Nah, I am good for at least one thing.

Nope.

[AidenCarby]

You don't even post 'em so I'm not so sure about that.

.

[Churchill]

man i couldnt sleep either that pussy was bomb yo

[Churchill]

Firing from the hip

You owe it to your kids to produce more memorable family meals than microwave chicken.

[Charismatic]

man i couldnt sleep either that pussy was bomb yo

Sounds like she just changed your life.
Slow transformation into a MILF hunter.

[kuronosan]

No one else making a Church is 12 joke?

Man.

[Churchill]

people know i'm pretty so no, they wouldn't.

[Ksandra]

MY MOTHER GOT TO SEE STAR WARS BEFORE ME.

[Tyrath]

Rekt

[vivbiibasjiu]

fucked a chick the exact same age as me tonight and didn't hate it, what is happening goidonight

12? Pretty sure that's illegal bro

*scrolls down*

Damnit

[Airenn]

@Jmc, good luck slaying her, cause from your previous date/post sounds like all she'll be good for.

[Churchill]

12? Pretty sure that's illegal bro

*scrolls down*

Damnit

there are 10 million million million million million million million million million million million million million million million million million million million million million million million million million million million particles in the universe that we can see.

It's a shame you're made of all the terrible ones.