Random Fail: First World Problems

[Charismatic]

10% trap 90% tits

Just the way I like 'em!

[Astylla]

10% trap 90% tits

I disagree without proof.

[BaneTheBrawler]

you hold the evidence in your hands

and your shirt

and your pants

[Anoat]

There's going to be a lot of bias in these rankings, but if I had to assign an order to the top 3:

1. Mel's computer and customer service woes.
2. The guy that went to the KFC that ran out of chicken.
3. Bane shitting glass.

For me, Aks' and Astylla's problems kinda got repetitive and lost their flavor after a while. Brill and CS's stories are in their own special category of hilarity.

I won the silver medal!

[tyven]

IF YOU'RE NOT FIRST YOU'RE LAST

[Brill Weave]

We're being audited again this month. My boss wants me to go to and show the auditor how to use the background check website we use for all the garages/drivers. So now I'm in a shit position. If I show him all the loopholes and reports we can run he now has complete access to EVERYTHING. Which means potentially getting other people on my team in trouble for not doing things by the letter of the law. Which would get me in a massive shitstorm with my boss and the director.

If I only show the auditor bits and pieces I run the personal risk of having someone else show him all this shit at a later date. Which then comes back on me and how could I not know how to run the most basic reports. Which would again get me in a massive shitstorm.

I hate my job.

[dasva]

Were you asked to hold his hand thru every single function? If not could always claim you thought you were just teaching him basics/how to get started?

[Moss]

We're being audited again this month. My boss wants me to go to and show the auditor how to use the background check website we use for all the garages/drivers. So now I'm in a shit position. If I show him all the loopholes and reports we can run he now has complete access to EVERYTHING. Which means potentially getting other people on my team in trouble for not doing things by the letter of the law. Which would get me in a massive shitstorm with my boss and the director.

If I only show the auditor bits and pieces I run the personal risk of having someone else show him all this shit at a later date. Which then comes back on me and how could I not know how to run the most basic reports. Which would again get me in a massive shitstorm.

I hate my job.

What kind of things aren't done to the letter of the law? Seems like if it's minor then your boss wouldn't care

[Brill Weave]

What kind of things aren't done to the letter of the law? Seems like if it's minor then your boss wouldn't care

We discretely exploit multiple loopholes in order to get a lot of shit done quickly. If we know about them all the other groups know about them as well. I basically have to toe the line between showing him enough and avoiding showing him too much. This auditor has been up our asses for the last few months trying to get people to trip up. I am not looking forward to this.

[tyven]

This is the worst moment of my life. Never has my faith been more shaken. This must have been what Job felt like when imposter god was killing off his family for shits and giggles

[Astylla]

We discretely exploit multiple loopholes in order to get a lot of shit done quickly. If we know about them all the other groups know about them as well. I basically have to toe the line between showing him enough and avoiding showing him too much. This auditor has been up our asses for the last few months trying to get people to trip up. I am not looking forward to this.

Is this stuff that has legal as in federal regulations as well and if so how long can you go before it becomes such an issue it affects everyone ?

It really sounds like sooner or later things are going to be forced to come clean.

[Melena]

There's going to be a lot of bias in these rankings, but if I had to assign an order to the top 3:

1. Mel's computer and customer service woes.
2. The guy that went to the KFC that ran out of chicken.
3. Bane shitting glass.

For me, Aks' and Astylla's problems kinda got repetitive and lost their flavor after a while. Brill and CS's stories are in their own special category of hilarity.

Well I'm glad to know people seem to enjoy stories of the mouth breathers I have to support and trying to teach them the very basics of computer use, such as copying a file from one location to another. Or like today where this admin assistant couldn't figure out how to save a powerpoint from email to a flash drive so I had to have her send me the e-mail to do it.

[Brill Weave]

Is this stuff that has legal as in federal regulations as well and if so how long can you go before it becomes such an issue it affects everyone ?

It really sounds like sooner or later things are going to be forced to come clean.

The only thing we aren't legally allowed to see are the actual results of a background check if the person fails. Our parent group has very strict rules regarding us running the checks internally as a result. Unfortunately we have several facilities that legit, have no computer, and don't use the internet at all. As a result we're forced to run them. Little things like that. We're not breaking any laws at all. We are breaking several policies that our parent group enforces.

[Astylla]

The only thing we aren't legally allowed to see are the actual results of a background check if the person fails. Our parent group has very strict rules regarding us running the checks internally as a result. Unfortunately we have several facilities that legit, have no computer, and don't use the internet at all. As a result we're forced to run them. Little things like that. We're not breaking any laws at all. We are breaking several policies that our parent group enforces.

Gotcha thanks for clarifying, regardless that sucks and puts all involved in a shitty position. I agree with above by just showing bare minimum and playing dumb may work best as a starting point. I can't imagine how stressful it is. Is there any reason why you're being audited so much or is it just them being overly anal ?

My fail today is I'm so tired I completely missed getting into bed and just fell on my ass. I love the bed but I think I legitimately need a step stool.

[Brill Weave]

Were you asked to hold his hand thru every single function? If not could always claim you thought you were just teaching him basics/how to get started?

His exact words were to "teach him how to use the site." So I'm sticking with all basic functions with some moderate functions that we don't use at all. Hopefully that's enough.

[Brill Weave]

Gotcha thanks for clarifying, regardless that sucks and puts all involved in a shitty position. I agree with above by just showing bare minimum and playing dumb may work best as a starting point. I can't imagine how stressful it is. Is there any reason why you're being audited so much or is it just them being overly anal ?

My fail today is I'm so tired I completely missed getting into bed and just fell on my ass. I love the bed but I think I legitimately need a step stool.

Years ago we were bought out by a larger group in California. They've been trying to justify coming in and completely taking over. The stipulation is that our board of directors has to sign off on it. Our parent group has a TON of clout within the national organization and has been deliberately hitting us at every opportunity to try to force the board's hand.

[Zeb]

Cant sacrifice a peon to appease the management gods?

[Zetanio]

This is the worst moment of my life. Never has my faith been more shaken. This must have been what Job felt like when imposter god was killing off his family for shits and giggles

You're surprised he's acting like a fucking retard?

[Blubbartron]

You're surprised he's acting like a fucking retard?

As much as I hate Kanye because he's a megalomaniacal douchecunt, he's technically correct in this case. Innocent until proven guilty.

[Zetanio]

As much as I hate Kanye because he's a megalomaniacal douchecunt, he's technically correct in this case. Innocent until proven guilty.