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  1. #141
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    Quote Originally Posted by Aurara View Post
    Random bullshit that I have to put up with in my dorm:
    So i come home from my Jew class at like 10:30 PM on a Thursday night(it's Purim, a Jewish drinking holiday). I'm tired, and just want to relax and smoke, or go out with friends. I fucking put my key in the door and some random girl who I don't know answers my door. Inside my dorm are about 15-20 people who I don't know, with 1 person from my dorm(whom I already dislike because he disrespects everyone else and is blatantly rude/hits/abuses women) playing BP in our living room(something we all agreed wouldn't go down because we nearly got in a ton of trouble like 4 weeks prior due to booze). I get pissed off, since I don't like a lot of people in the dorm since if a CSA shows up, they would run and I would get in trouble for being there. I told them they needed to leave because I wasn't okay with them playing BP in our dorm and being super loud. They get super snotty with me and tell me to basically go elsewhere. I go into my room, grab all of my shit that could get me in trouble, and stormed the fuck out, heated that he let people who don't live in my dorm talk back to me. After about 5 minutes i go back and they're all leaving and talking tons of shit about me. I wished them a happy Purim and waved them goodbye. The fucking nerve some people have.
    I had to kick everyone out of my sister's house once...I wasn't nearly as nice as you were. I walked into the living room, grabbed the CD player (This was in 1999...before ipods when Sony ruled the portable music world) that someone had brought and threw it outside. Once I had everyone's attention, I told them they had about 30 seconds to leave. Of course a bunch of drunks are going to try to fight you when you tell them to leave, so when this happened I pulled a 9V stun gun out of my pocket and proceeded to shock the shit out of 2 guys before the rest of them left. A few minutes later I had cops at the door telling me there was a noise complaint. I told them I took care of the problem and gave them the addresses of all the underage drinkers that I knew were there. (It was a small town with all of 15 streets in the whole town.) Not sure what ever happened to any of them, but I certainly felt better after fucking up their night.

    Moral of the story: Don't fucking party at someone else's house without permission.

  2. #142
    King of the Jews
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    Not only that, but last semester while i was pledging AEPi, i came back from a pledge event and went to bed around 12. Around 12:30 RIGHT when i was about to go to sleep...I hear banging on the front door. It was everyone in my dorm+their friends, banging on the door because their hands were full(they werent intoxicated at all). So i get up out of bed open it and bitch at them for doing that. Not a single person feels they did anything wrong/apologizes to me for waking me up. I tell them im going to bed and go back into my room. ! am rolls around, they're being loud as fuck so i go out and calmly tell them im trying to sleep and to stop talking. I get some backtalk but disregard it. 2 am rolls around. I'm tired, angry and filled with fury. I storm out, and yell at the top of my lungs demanding they "GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY DORM AS IM TRYING TO FUCKING SLEEP". So the fuck in my story above, tells me "Dude you're pledging a frat you should be used to staying up late and partying, and you can find somewhere else to sleep we're talking" I started getting belligerent and yelling louder until they got the fuck out and I was the only person in the dorm for the whole night.

  3. #143
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    At work to have your child looked after from 9 til 5 it costs £5.

    However if you're on benefits it costs 55p.

    A mum complained that to have her two children looked after for £1.10 it was expensive and it should be cheaper.

    I do work on a council estate though......

  4. #144
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    I wasn't there for it but I was talking to the owner's wife at a butcher in MI while visiting some friends and she told us about a real class act she had in earlier that day.

    The place, Walt's Meat, always has funny letter boards to draw people in that sound dirty when you drive by and only get a glance. Even their business cards say "Nobody Beats Walt's Meat." At the time the sign said "We heard you caught your grillfriend with Walt's Meat." This woman came in, didn't even buy anything, and just starts bitching out the owner's wife about how their wretched souls need to find God and repent for their signs. After some blank stares at the owner's wife we all started cracking up when she said "... I didn't have the heart to tell her that I'm the organist for the local church..."

  5. #145

    That 'mistaken for an employee' thing is funny for me. Once, a girl caught me in a bookstore and asked me where some book was. It just so happened that I used to work there, and was able to help her. I actually told her "I have no idea where your book is, I don't work here. But let's go find it together".

    More recently, I was at Ikea picking up some picture frames for my son's new room. I don't know what the Ikea dress code is, but I'm pretty sure it's not "three piece suit" (I was on my way to teach a class). I walked into the frame area, started to pick up frames and compare them, and another customer (most likely a tourist, this is Orlando) asked me if some frame or other came in a different color. I immediately replied with "I don't work here," to which she could only respond, "Oh, well you looked like you knew what you were doing."

    No shit lady. I know where the frames are. I've been here before. I am on my way to another engagement and I don't want to wander around the Swedish Mecca to Retail aimlessly for hours. Of course I know what I'm doing.

    It was great.

  6. #146

    Quote Originally Posted by Acturus View Post
    That 'mistaken for an employee' thing is funny for me. Once, a girl caught me in a bookstore and asked me where some book was. It just so happened that I used to work there, and was able to help her. I actually told her "I have no idea where your book is, I don't work here. But let's go find it together".
    Did you hit on her? Would've been easy to avoid the area you knew the book was around to find out if she was interesting or not

  7. #147
    Member since 2006 and still can't think of a title.
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    Well I'm currently raging at comcast right now.

    Long story short, my cable box kept dropping it's signal, so saturday they came out, swapped out the box. Well Mr. Retard didn't activate the box as our on demand and channel guide was not working. Contacted the web support and they let me know the box wasn't activated, activate it, give me 3 free month of stars. Two days later and I still have no on demand. Contact web support again as i'm sick and have no voice and after about 20 minutes the tech tells me it's not available in my area, then backtracks when I tell her it worked 5 days ago, and opens a ticket and gives me a ticket #, tells me to call back in 24hrs if it's not working. Well I call back 24hrs later, still not working, and the fucking cunt who I hope gets fired cancelled the ticket immediately. Speak to a sup, get no where with him, ask for a higher manager to call me back, informs me since it's late if i don't get a call by 9, i'll get it first thing in the morning today. I just now after my second call back got my grievance taken care of even though I have to be up at 730 am on Saturday again to have another box swapped....

    Seriously, monopolies can go fuck themselves. If AT&T UVerse wasn't so much worse, I'd have ditched Comcast over this. WTB FIOS, PST

  8. #148
    HABS SUCK!!!!!
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    idk if the subways in the states are different, but basically the menu shows all the subs, and has a small yellow label saying "6 grams of fat or less", with the 6 taking up most of the label and this applies to roughly half the subs on the menu.

    Customer comes in, looks at the menu for a good 2 minutes, and then:
    "Hi, can I have the number 6 please"

  9. #149
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    At the mall today shopping, saw a lady returning a bunch of items and next thing you know, she starts a scene at the register so I decide to eavesdrop. She bought something from a different county and so when she tried to return it, she get $.03 less because of sales tax differences. She was complaining that it she understands that but she still wants it done right with her extra $.03. Next wants the transaction cancelled so she can return it at the original store 30 minutes away so she can get her $.03 back, which her wish was granted, effectively wasting time and gas on herself.

  10. #150
    Banned.

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    Herself? Fuck her, I want my oxygen back

    Edit: P.S. Willing to buy plane tickets/cross border for it

  11. #151
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    I can't stand browsers at restaurants. The most notorious is this taco joint I go to, where the entire menu is on HUGE boards above the counter. It's a simple menu, and the place is so popular that you always wait in line an average of 8-10 minutes before you reach the counter to order.

    It never fails, people stand around until they reach the counter, then ask questions, can't decide what to get, etc. It's a taco place, order a fucking taco and move along.

    Reminds me of a great Dr. Cox (from Scrubs) rant that I wholly believe in: "If I'm in line at the coffee shop and the guy in front of me can't decide what to order in the thirty minutes it took to get to the register, I should be allowed to kill him".

  12. #152
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    I used to work for a software company, and we sold our own hardware with the software, so that we could offer technical support on the hardware as well. One of our customer's that is located about an hour from our office called and said their computer died. So my boss sent me out to their location with a rental and told me to go change it out if I couldn't figure out what was wrong with it. I get to their office, walk to where the computer is located, check the power cord. What a surprise, it had come lose at the back of the tower, and got the response "we checked that." Needless to say, they got charged 300 dollars for me to drive 2 hours round trip, for about 30 seconds of work.

  13. #153
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    We switched to Tesco's broadband a couple of years ago. In December 2010 our internet started slowing down until we were barely grazing 10kbs. After suffering over the Christmas holidays with practically no internet, in January I contacted them. After the usual check your router malarky, of which I am a seasoned pro due to problems in the past, they resort to sending me a new router. After waiting a week for a new router and plugging it in, the speed is the same as before. They say give it a few days, so we do. Then it turns out they hadn't activated the router and they were still reading data somehow from the old router. So they activate it and say that the speed is still slow - no shit Sherlock. So they arrange to have a BT engineer come look at our connection. I knew in advance that the problem wasn't in our house, but they have to check first. So the guy comes, spends some time on it, says he doesn't know why it's like that, but says he'll go check the junction box down the street. Turns out the problem was at the exchange where a wire had come loose somehow. All in all, it took about 2 months for the problem to be fixed and a lot of time could have been saved if they'd just sent the engineer out in the first place, but no they can't, they assume we're all dunces that forgot to plug something in properly.

  14. #154
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    Quote Originally Posted by Laugana View Post
    they assume we're all dunces that forgot to plug something in properly.
    That's because most of the population are dunces. The problem is that even when you prove to them that you know what you are talking about, they still treat you like you don't know what a computer is...

  15. #155
    Remit One (1) Custom Title
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    Quote Originally Posted by Acevalefor View Post
    That's because most of the population are dunces. The problem is that even when you prove to them that you know what you are talking about, they still treat you like you don't know what a computer is...
    Because most of the time the people at the call center don't know what a computer is.

  16. #156
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    Went to this high school dance recital thing last night that my niece was in. one of the dancers was working the little booth at the front selling tickets. My total was $12, I gave her a 20, she could not figure out the change. after an awkward 15 seconds of her just sitting there, she asked me if I knew how much change to give back because she couldn't figure it out........

  17. #157
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    Quote Originally Posted by chiyio View Post
    Went to this high school dance recital thing last night that my niece was in. one of the dancers was working the little booth at the front selling tickets. My total was $12, I gave her a 20, she could not figure out the change. after an awkward 15 seconds of her just sitting there, she asked me if I knew how much change to give back because she couldn't figure it out........
    I lost the ability to do simple math the moment I stepped into Calculus in my junior year of hs.

  18. #158
    The 69th Donor
    Pens win! Pens Win!!! PENS WIN!!!!!

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    Wal-Mart fail (so unusual, I know...)

    So first of all, in the check out line, the bitch in front of me can't seem to work the card reader. This isn't unusual, I get behind one of these fat hoes every time I go there, even at 3AM. This is not the same Wal-Mart I usually go to, but it's pretty much universal.

    So I put my items in the conveyor, 24 pack of Dr Pepper in front, and various foodstuffs behind that. The cashier keeps grabbing things from in front - where I've put a divider, mind you, as well as at least a foot of space between my stuff and the previous customer's ... and the cashier fails to notice this and fails to turn off the conveyor. So the fucking thing keeps rolling with my Dr Pepper catching on her computer screen, tilting, and crushing the various foodstuffs behind it.

    And then. The dumb bitch blames me, saying I shouldn't be stacking things. I told her if she had been paying attention to the conveyor then this shit wouldn't have happened. She looked down at the switch and was like, oh shit I'm retarded. At least that's the look that came across her face. I was visibly annoyed at this point.

    So she proceeds to check me out, and I say "I've got my own bag," which she ignores, so I unbag everything she just bagged and put it in my own bag, to which she gives me a look, and then she proceeds to tell me that I should have gotten a cart for my Dr Pepper. Because I was seemingly incapable of carrying it even one step further after walking through the entire store with it, right?

    Ugh. I remember now why I never go to that particular Wal-Mart.

  19. #159
    Member since 2006 and still can't think of a title.
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    So glad to know I'm not the only one with this curse at walmart.

  20. #160
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    Was working overtime at a bar on I.D. detail and kid hands me a fake. Being a nice guy I give it back to him and say "Ok dude, been doing this a while, I know a fake so give me your real one and all's good." So he hands me his real I.D. and it says he's 24. The fake he gave me said he was 21. I look at him and said "Why would you do that when you're 21? You know possession of a fake I.D. is a federal crime?" He looks at me and said "Most of you guys are idiots so I didn't think it mattered." So me being the nice guy I am, told him to hit the street or loose a good percentage of his night in central for public drunkeness. Guy bro-fists me and said he was just playing and didn't mean it. Went to walk by me to go in and I stopped him with one hand and told him I wasn't playing. Goes to throw up his hands in utter disgust and said "This is bull-" and got cut off mid-sentence when his hand hit the overhead light and knocked the case off, hitting him in the head. Had to get a bus to take him to the hospital and got stuck with the report. Goddamn college kids.

    @Aksanni - My wife encounters your driveway-exit problem a lot at her job (works at a lawfirm). She told me a few days ago when someone tried to come in the exit (and blocked her in so she couldn't come out and would have had to reverse out the curve which is almost impossible going forward), the guy laid on the horn like she was in the wrong and the guy was yelling and waving and all kinds of shit. So she put the car in park, turned it off, got out, locked it up, and went back inside and called the cops. They got there like 10 minutes later, guy was still sitting in the middle of traffic honking and yelling and everything. Ended up locking the guy up and towed his car.