Random Fail: First World Problems

[Zetanio]

Looks more expensive and a further drive for her from my brief searches.

[dasva]

Is it ever worth looking into 2 1 way vs a round trip?

[Zetanio]

Never.

[Zetanio]

Airlines got wise real fast to people skiplagging and trying to game one-way fares. It's 99.999% always cheaper to buy the RT. Companies will usually inflate the one-way by a few dollars to avoid people doing it.

Websites will offer "hacker" fares sometimes but those are usually done within mileage partners or members of an alliance.

[Ksandra]

So been in long term long distance relationship for awhile now and was working but not as much anymore. Like we were taking turns going to see each other once a year each... I visited her last November 2014. And then lately conversations have slowed down a lot and 90% of it has been how much her life sucks. Granted some of it does like earlier this year being diagnosed with early stages of diabetes and dad dying but it's always that. Tried brining up how can't take not really being together just gets deflected to life sucks.

Finally just flat out say this wont go on not gonna be effectively not in a relationship but unable to pursue anything. And yay she got the picture and was sorry and missed it to. So we talking a lot more and more like a couple instead of random grump friends lol. And she promised to start looking into seeing me soon.

The fail comes with literally the next day her car's AC compressor shit the bed which will cost a bit and she's been poor at saving money so going to be hard to find scrape money together. And because she doesn't have a lot of vacation time yet since recently started new job to get more time together since it's been so long trying start and end on weekend (or really leave Friday night/Saturday morning get back the sunday after or something close to that) which means can't really choose cheaper days of the week to fly out on. I'm in Bay area (specifically Santa Rosa but most likely will have to go thru sfo/Oakland because of costs) and she's in Pennsylvania so cross country. A little flexible on airports as long as not too much of a drive and a bit flexible on the week like she suggested if can find good price pretty much any week starting August.... obviously preferring sooner but cheapest I'm finding in August is a little over $400 which from price talking earlier I think is probably more than she wants. So any help finding cheaper tickets with said restrictions would rock

Just from personal experiences, what is your goal as a relationship? 'Cause that shit is only going to last so long. I did it for a year and it was rough, and just said, "Fuck it," and moved to Cali to see what would happened.


So worth it even if it hadn't worked out. Was good to actually take a shot, and there's no point being that far apart if there is no way to actually be together at some point.

[Astylla]

Just from personal experiences, what is your goal as a relationship? 'Cause that shit is only going to last so long. I did it for a year and it was rough, and just said, "Fuck it," and moved to Cali to see what would happened.


So worth it even if it hadn't worked out. Was good to actually take a shot, and there's no point being that far apart if there is no way to actually be together at some point.

I gave to agree with this. At some point you have to figure out individually and mutually what the goals are , why and how to achieve them.

There's no right or wrong answer , but having a solid plan is important at some point.

[dasva]

Just from personal experiences, what is your goal as a relationship? 'Cause that shit is only going to last so long. I did it for a year and it was rough, and just said, "Fuck it," and moved to Cali to see what would happened.


So worth it even if it hadn't worked out. Was good to actually take a shot, and there's no point being that far apart if there is no way to actually be together at some point.

Been together about 4 years now. Was fine when we'd see each other for a week or so twice a year and were close on phone/video chat etc but last year and half... .

Eventually we want to be living much closer together obviously. But things are somewhat complicated for right now for her and don't know if she'd ever be willing to move out of PA despite having lived in Socal in the past. Maybe when her kid is grown. But I think it's more of a hates change thing doesn't want to make new friends... though she still has some in socal who I met last time she visited

I well I live in the Bay area which is really hard to give up especially for somewhere like PA lol. She tells me about the blizzards she's having while it's 80 here. She takes me around to a bunch of places with cost of living similar to what it is here and all of them are drearier than eastern Washington and run down looking and leave me wonder why the hell anyone would live there at those prices. Plus never really liked the east coast. But anyways I'm not going to just move without something like a good career lined up or maybe if I start using my GI bill find a school that is closer. On the other hand I really hate california taxes and the politics here so... She has mentioned knowing people at the local nuclear that could help me get in if they hiring which I'd more or less jump on but so far nope.

[Spicyryan]

Been together about 4 years now. Was fine when we'd see each other for a week or so twice a year and were close on phone/video chat etc but last year and half... .

Eventually we want to be living much closer together obviously. But things are somewhat complicated for right now for her and don't know if she'd ever be willing to move out of PA despite having lived in Socal in the past. Maybe when her kid is grown. But I think it's more of a hates change thing doesn't want to make new friends... though she still has some in socal who I met last time she visited

I well I live in the Bay area which is really hard to give up especially for somewhere like PA lol. She tells me about the blizzards she's having while it's 80 here. She takes me around to a bunch of places with cost of living similar to what it is here and all of them are drearier than eastern Washington and run down looking and leave me wonder why the hell anyone would live there at those prices. Plus never really liked the east coast. But anyways I'm not going to just move without something like a good career lined up or maybe if I start using my GI bill find a school that is closer. On the other hand I really hate california taxes and the politics here so... She has mentioned knowing people at the local nuclear that could help me get in if they hiring which I'd more or less jump on but so far nope.

It is hard enough when they are far away and have a kid, but 4 years is far too long IMO for long distance. You need to decide before that if you are serious enough.

[Airenn]

And many of my questions have to do with, like, what. Sex once a year? People do that??

[BaneTheBrawler]

on topic, and also a FWP: i've gone through 20 condoms so far. I think. I could have sworn I'd bought two new boxes (in addition to the box i had already), but that would mean I've gone through 30, and that seems too high. Maybe I lost track of some. Anyway, they're getting expensive.

also, i had to give up on the taking-turns-to-pay-for-dates thing, because i just don't have enough money.

[Spicyryan]

And many of my questions have to do with, like, what. Sex once a year? People do that??

I would be depressed too at that rate.

[AoE]

on topic, and also a FWP: i've gone through 20 condoms so far. I think. I could have sworn I'd bought two new boxes (in addition to the box i had already), but that would mean I've gone through 30, and that seems too high. Maybe I lost track of some. Anyway, they're getting expensive.

also, i had to give up on the taking-turns-to-pay-for-dates thing, because i just don't have enough money.

You should talk to her about going on birth control.

[BaneTheBrawler]

We've talked about it. She has an IUD, but at this point both of us would prefer to be doubly safe.


Don't want any little Banes running around any time soon.

[AoE]

Gotcha

[Spicyryan]

We've talked about it. She has an IUD, but at this point both of us would prefer to be doubly safe.


Don't want any little Banes running around any time soon.

Why bother with an IUD then?

I am big on fixing problems in those single percentage scenarios.

[Astylla]

on topic, and also a FWP: i've gone through 20 condoms so far. I think. I could have sworn I'd bought two new boxes (in addition to the box i had already), but that would mean I've gone through 30, and that seems too high. Maybe I lost track of some. Anyway, they're getting expensive.

also, i had to give up on the taking-turns-to-pay-for-dates thing, because i just don't have enough money.

Please tell me she's paying for them too. I always bought my own because it's unfair to expect the guy to pay for that shit , fucking expensive as is.

[Spicyryan]

Please tell me she's paying for them too. I always bought my own because it's unfair to expect the guy to pay for that shit , fucking expensive as is.

Play the credit card game and go at proper times when fares are lower. Four years worth of points ,miles, and sign up bonuses is quite a lot. Sometimes there are moments when you can buy fares ridiculously cheap.

[BaneTheBrawler]

because she already had it. also, i don't see how airfare applies to condoms.

As for money, I'm more bemoaning my general lack of funds than that single expense. she's paying more than her fair share, imo, in paying for our food etc. when we go out.

i mean, sure, we could just trust the IUD, but keep in mind, we only met a month and a half ago. Shit happens. We'd rather not have that extra layer of worry right now. Maybe once we're more secure in our relationship, we'll revisit it.

[dasva]

And many of my questions have to do with, like, what. Sex once a year? People do that??

Like I said we each were flying to each other once a year. And yes it shitty even with the tons of sex during visits. But this longer dry spell was too much. And yeah hopefully this helps open up discussions for not only having sex every several months among other things.

For even more juicy fwp my most recent ex who lives what used to be about a mile away before they put fencing over a path across the train tracks has been dropping hints for awhile now. Though she also has had a gf for a few years now lol. And for even more fun the first girl I realized and told I loved but never quite ended up together started talking to me again recently and is rather flirty and has admitted she'd bang and just got singlish. Has a fwb and sends me interesting pics/videos of her times with him lol

[Airenn]

Nah man. People need sex. Keeps you sane.

Look how bad CS has gotten guys. He has WAIFU PILLOWS. Ya'll *really* shoulda been on this, cause I really don't know what's after that.