Random Fail: First World Problems

[Odesseiron]

You the primary breadwinner? You paying the mortgage. Your house. Your money. I'd say fuck that.

[kuronosan]

Raised my voice at the wife.

She entertained the thought of her bringing her pathetic ass little brother back into my house. Hell fucking no. The dude is absolutely worthless. I don't know why she and her sister play this ping pong game of taking care of this waste of oxygen. She guilt trips me that we have a huge house with rooms not being used, but that asshole caused a ton of damage within a few weeks last time I let his free-loading ass stay here. I really don't want to deal with him again. He's the definition of a lazy neckbeard. I really fucking hate this dude. His sight alone spikes my blood pressure.

God damn it's been a terrible week.

You tell your wife he breaks anything or doesn't get his shit together quick he's out.

That's the art of compromise dude. Your wife feels bad for that sack of crap but the sack of crap is still her blood.

Your house, your rules.

[tyven]

Can you have him deported?

[BaneTheBrawler]

"Look babe, I really don't want to do this, but if it means so much to you I'll agree to it with some provisions."

Get a job, do household chores, pay rent, whatever. set a time limit for this stuff to happen. Make sure he and she both understand the limits are firm. make it clear that any more damage to the house and he's out.

Don't be unreasonable in your time limits, but don't be too generous either. I'd suggest a month to find a job, with the requirement that until he's paying rent, he does household chores. Maybe, after good behavior and a job, an additional 1-2 months for him to build up some savings and find an apartment.

It doesn't really cast you as the good guy, but as long as you're not unreasonable you should come out okay with the wife. And that's all that matters.


edit: also, don't play the "my house my rules" card unless the house is 100% in your name and you pay for literally everything you use, including cars. because if she has even a shred of leverage, she'll use it. "My car my rules." "My vagina my rules." etc. That's not a contest you want to play with your SO.

[Aksannyi]

Ummmmmm .... "My vagina my rules" should always be in effect anyway.

[Fondue]

only aks would pull rape out of that statement in that context

[Airenn]

Yea I was confused by that, too.

Edit: By aks' reply, not the context/post

[Odesseiron]

First expensive choice of many with home ownership. To cable or not to cable? It's about $115 with fees and all for basic cable/internet + $12 mo for Netflix. $75 for just 100/100 internet, or $65 for 50/50. Even though that shit is nowhere near the advertised speed.

I'm thinking fuck cable cause I literally never watch it and just download/stream everything. And just go 100/100

The latter. Right? Right.

[Abandon]

Ummmmmm .... "My vagina my rules" should always be in effect anyway.

shut the absolute fuck up

[Abandon]

"Look babe, I really don't want to do this, but if it means so much to you I'll agree to it with some provisions."

Get a job, do household chores, pay rent, whatever. set a time limit for this stuff to happen. Make sure he and she both understand the limits are firm. make it clear that any more damage to the house and he's out.

Don't be unreasonable in your time limits, but don't be too generous either. I'd suggest a month to find a job, with the requirement that until he's paying rent, he does household chores. Maybe, after good behavior and a job, an additional 1-2 months for him to build up some savings and find an apartment.

It doesn't really cast you as the good guy, but as long as you're not unreasonable you should come out okay with the wife. And that's all that matters.


edit: also, don't play the "my house my rules" card unless the house is 100% in your name and you pay for literally everything you use, including cars. because if she has even a shred of leverage, she'll use it. "My car my rules." "My vagina my rules." etc. That's not a contest you want to play with your SO.

he fucked up last time he was there, which is why he's so pissed

[BaneTheBrawler]

.... jesus aks, i can't believe i need to explain this. like... fuck. okay, so, first off, what you just said is EXTREMELY OBVIOUS. What have I ever said to make you think I would think otherwise? Second, it's implied by the notion that "My vagina my rules" is even a thing at all. Third, the notion that it would ever NOT be in effect is so far out of left field in the context of this conversation that I cannot facepalm hard enough.

What I'm talking about is that sex would be another piece of leverage she'd have to use against the "my house my rules" card. i.e. she could twist the "my ____ my rules" argument around and use it as a reason to cut him off. That argument is extremely adversarial and sets exactly the wrong tone to take with your SO. She lives there too, whether she owns it or not, and that makes it her house.



edit: yeah, abandon, i remember. fell asleep with the tub running and ruined the bathroom and the ceiling/floor underneath it, right? I absolutely agree that I wouldn't want the shithead in my house either, but it sounds like Xno's already lost that battle, so I'm trying to give him a way to lose gracefully and salvage what he can, without damaging things with his SO.

[Aksannyi]

Oh I'm sorry, I forgot that once a person gets married they lose all of their agency.

If Bane meant the whole deal about withholding sex, then he worded it terribly. Jesus Christ almighty.

[Aksannyi]

shut the absolute fuck up

And honestly you can fuck right off. The last time I said anything even remotely feminist on this website was several fucking months ago so eat a huge fucking bag of dicks.

[BaneTheBrawler]

Oh I'm sorry, I forgot that once a person gets married they lose all of their agency.

If Bane meant the whole deal about withholding sex, then he worded it terribly. Jesus Christ almighty.

I worded it just fine, you just interpreted it extremely weird. Seriously though, what have I ever said that would make you interpret what I said in that way? Do I come across as a rapist? Why is THAT the leap your brain makes?

[kuronosan]

And honestly you can fuck right off. The last time I said anything even remotely feminist on this website was several fucking months ago so eat a huge fucking bag of dicks.

His mouth, his rules.

[Abandon]

lmao

[dasva]

First expensive choice of many with home ownership. To cable or not to cable? It's about $115 with fees and all for basic cable/internet + $12 mo for Netflix. $75 for just 100/100 internet, or $65 for 50/50. Even though that shit is nowhere near the advertised speed.

I'm thinking fuck cable cause I literally never watch it and just download/stream everything. And just go 100/100

The latter. Right? Right.

I'd definitely do the later. Years of both having and not having cable and never really used cable for anything other than background noise or for company or was some package deal that made it cheaper. Anything I cared to watch I downloaded. Speaking of which my package deal wore off so I think I need to go back to just internet now. Maybe threaten to switch to new guys in town...

[dasva]

Oh I'm sorry, I forgot that once a person gets married they lose all of their agency.

If Bane meant the whole deal about withholding sex, then he worded it terribly. Jesus Christ almighty.

eh pretty sure everyone posting understood what was being said.... maybe if it had no other context at all that might make sense but if you read the rest of the quote or at the very least just that just the edit part provides more than enough context at what Bane was saying

[NynJa]

Aks contributing to the thread gloriously.

[Abandon]

per the norm