Ridiculous Police News (Specific events)

[jmc]

Another fucking five paragraph essay, "I have seen some SHIT man, you don't even know". A lot of you guys go through the effort of seeming self aware by pointing hollywood cliche's and then about face and say "I was just doing my JEEE~RB man" totally unironically and I can't help reading it in my cheesiest Clint Eastwood voice.

None of you ex military current cop faggots have a point other than that you're good at spewing emotionally manipulative anecdotal bullshit and pining for self-esteem alms from strangers who are too embarassed to call you on it. I feel like I'm living in Victorian England and my wife is calling me a coward for not enlisting to fight in the Boer fucking war listening to you poncy jackasses.

Wow lmao

[Xno Kappa]

Wow lmao

Shhhh!!!

[Nephlite]

Another fucking five paragraph essay, "I have seen some SHIT man, you don't even know". A lot of you guys go through the effort of seeming self aware by pointing hollywood cliche's and then about face and say "I was just doing my JEEE~RB man" totally unironically and I can't help reading it in my cheesiest Clint Eastwood voice.

None of you ex military current cop faggots have a point other than that you're good at spewing emotionally manipulative anecdotal bullshit and pining for self-esteem alms from strangers who are too embarassed to call you on it. I feel like I'm living in Victorian England and my wife is calling me a coward for not enlisting to fight in the Boer fucking war listening to you poncy jackasses.

Love you too!

One sided idealism such as this is what's going to kill humanity. Cut your balls off and don't repopulate.

[Churchill]

Damn, someone beta'd the fuck out there.

[Ashmada]

Another fucking five paragraph essay, "I have seen some SHIT man, you don't even know". A lot of you guys go through the effort of seeming self aware by pointing hollywood cliche's and then about face and say "I was just doing my JEEE~RB man" totally unironically and I can't help reading it in my cheesiest Clint Eastwood voice.

None of you ex military current cop faggots have a point other than that you're good at spewing emotionally manipulative anecdotal bullshit and pining for self-esteem alms from strangers who are too embarassed to call you on it. I feel like I'm living in Victorian England and my wife is calling me a coward for not enlisting to fight in the Boer fucking war listening to you poncy jackasses.

27 intarwebz.

At this point, I'm starting to doubt if Nephlite is a real cop.
Not whether he's a cop, of that I'm sure; but whether he's real.
His life is such an action movie, I'm starting to think "Last Action Hero" came true.

Funny, the cops I know sit in a car all day by the road watching a scamera take pictures or play cards in the pub; they don't McLane their way through a terrorist-occupied building.

[Xno Kappa]

ITT: Cops don't do anything until you call them.

This thread is stupid hilarious, please name off the things you would not have cops do unless it was you. Shits stupid lol, all my law enforcement bro, stop paying attention to this pathetic attempt to get attention. Niggas is trolling, stop paying attention to it.

[Xno Kappa]

Shit reminds me of the retarded ghetto neighborhoods I deal with. Constantly bitch about the cops to clean the streets with yet provide no fucking information when need be about any given case.

[Gregorio]

Haha yeah I hear that shit constantly. Baltimore has a major problem with dirtbikes. Like thousands of them riding around the streets causing all sorts of problems with traffic accidents/injuries/property damage etc. Any whenever we catch a kid on one and lock him up, they always bitch about how we don't lock up the drug dealers on his corner but we can get him and his bike, and about how he ain't hurnin no one but we harassing him instead of the murderers. Their fake outrage when they have no intention of wanting us to really clean up the streets is hilarious. Oh, and last week a 6 year old kid got nailed by one and seriously injured. He'll be eating through a straw for a long time.

[Nephlite]

I was just in Baltimore last week visiting the Train Museum with the kids. You guys have a dirt bike squad. Uniforms are much better looking than ours. Our bike unit is blue on blue on blue and makes you look like a postal worker. Black and yellow or dark blue and yellow is much better visibly. Lot's of cars on the Amtrac all shot up and graffiti everywhere. Hard job you guys have.

@Ashmada Never claimed my job was exciting or anything but most of the examples I used I have either been apart of or heard about it from co-workers. War stories and Vietnam shit is the trade off for casual conversation.

"Oh what did you do yesterday?"
"Knee deep in a sewer on a DOA with his head missing. You?"
"Pulled a cat out of an air conditioning unit for the old lady on New Hampshire."
"Ah. I hate cats. How's your wife?"
"Great. She has the clap."
"Shame"

True story. Happened this morning.

[Gregorio]

The B&O? Pretty nice place, unfortunately the location it's in goes from decent to bad pretty quickly. And unfortunately there's only a few dirt bikes and we are not allowed to chase the other riders. The fear is that they'll start going faster to escape and create more accidents. The only way we can really get them is if they stall or wreck, or if we catch them filling up/putting the bike away/bringing it out.

[jmc]

The B&O? Pretty nice place, unfortunately the location it's in goes from decent to bad pretty quickly. And unfortunately there's only a few dirt bikes and we are not allowed to chase the other riders. The fear is that they'll start going faster to escape and create more accidents. The only way we can really get them is if they stall or wreck, or if we catch them filling up/putting the bike away/bringing it out.

Sounds like my department.

No chase policy at all, and the dispatchers are authorized to call of chases.

Hell, unit was chasing a friggen moped last week and it got called off lol

[Denchi]

Friend of mine was killed in Boston because of a pursuit. Dude turned his lights off and started hauling ass through residential streets, slammed into the cab he and his gf were getting into.

I don't love the idea of chasing....

[jmc]

Friend of mine was killed in Boston because of a pursuit. Dude turned his lights off and started hauling ass through residential streets, slammed into the cab he and his gf were getting into.

I don't love the idea of chasing....

I know that crash pretty well actually.... was the state police pursuit, down the j-way. Responded to assist in that before the crash. The scenario is exactly why we have a very strict no chase policy.

Sorry to hear about your loss

[Ragnus]

Or we need one our resident BG scientists to take on the daring experiment of mixing sugar, spice, and everything nice.

But where are we going to find Chemical X? =(

[MF Perm tha Fineass]

All the hero complexes in this thread are almost as funny as the feelings of inadequacy bubbling up as rage from the civilians in the thread. What a show.

[Dimmauk]

I love all the super cops getting trolled by welfare semen. Don't forget who pays you rambos and robocops to be expendable.

[Dimmauk]

Also, just want to say you guys are heroes. This thread has me thinking about becoming a police officer.

If I have a degree, do I automatically get promoted past beat cop?

[Valisk]

All the hero complexes in this thread

lol, can you iron my shirt next?

[MF Perm tha Fineass]

Not surprised Valisk was the first to trip over that one. Then again he must think he is a hero for meeting his monthly parking ticket quota.

[MF Perm tha Fineass]

And lol at Dim wanting to be a cop. How does that work, do you bring your belts to the interview or just re-enact a fight with Marine with some airkicks and chops while offering to break a board in half?