Goku vs. Hulk

[Milkster]

I have never worn jorts

Good.

[Conrad]

I'm no perm

[Blarg]

back when I was in the mean streets of Barrie Ontario I wore jorts a few times

[Conrad]

oh man, did the gangs there not even say thank you when you held the door open for them

[Blarg]

they would walk up to you and ask to please ride your bike for a minute to try it out and they would take the bike and ride it for 1 and a half minutes

[Conrad]

those bastards

[Demosthenes]

Goku's instant transmission is faster than light. That motherfucker defies all known laws of physics. Because he travels faster than light, he does theoretically travel backwards in time. Not only that, but he's capable of warping between motherfucking dimensions. Oh hey, big bomb on the Earth? Warp to the fucking afterlife so that it doesn't kill anyone who matters.

Flash can outrace death. Goku has died like 500 times and does not give a fuck.

The flash is also faster than light and defies the laws of physics. Your statement is invalid. The flash regularly traverses dimensions as he sees fit. Goku has never been shown to travel time of his own accord, just moving from one point in space to another.

[Cream Soda]

Yea but flash wouldn't be able to deal damage anyways. Goku could sleep and not worry about Flash, lol

[Ryko]

Which flash are we talking about? Because wally would fuck that nigga up.

[Ryko]

Goku's instant transmission would be dogshit lol

[Blarg]

goku as a kid could dodge lightning and by the end he was 100000000000000000000000000000000x stronger/faster than that

[Demosthenes]

Which flash are we talking about? Because wally would fuck that nigga up.

maximum hax

[Demosthenes]

The Motherfucking Flash

Now, I don't know how many of you dogs of the scurviest sea read comics, but I do a big pile of comics. One thing that blows my mind is how completely insane the powers in the DC universe are. Look at Superman. This guy has more powers than French restaurants have ways to say "your taste in wine is atrocious". He has powers to do with every part of his body and then some. He forgets powers sometimes. He can shoot heat rays out of his eyes, frost breath from his mouth and red son radiation from his ass. He's that sort of crazy dude. All because he absorbs solar radiation.

Look at Batman. His power? The anti-power. Sure, he should be some tame, kung fun master of not much, but instead he's the hottest shit to ever shit on a plate. You got a power? He'll find your weakness and give you seizures or heart attacks. He'll light you on fire when you're sleeping or make you recharge your green lantern ring in the power outlet. Ten thousand volts of fuck you batman. That's Batman.

But the fucking Flash, my god, my FUCKING GOD, this man has the greatest powers of all. If Superman's powers are being sucked off by twin super models and batman coming home to discover your wife is not only bisexual but has two friends she wants you to 'get in on' then the Flash is an orgy with a thousand women who also want to pay your World of Warcraft billing. And click the mouse for you. This man is just that fucking hot. They have to power him down in the comics half the time just to keep him from doing everyone else's job.

Ok first off, he can travel at lightspeed. Mother fuck! Not only does he travel at lightspeed, but time slows down for him. So he feels like he's having a casual jog or reading the paper, meanwhile, his feet are moving so fast you can hear him coming from Montana while he's already gotten to Arizona. That's fucking fast. But wait! The ability to move at Lightspeed just isn't fucking enough!

I know! Christ this guy can punch you so many times in a second you've been hit five times in the cock and two times everywhere else. You think you're about to fight the Flash and then it hits you, for the last split second he's beaned your beanbags with more blows than you had sperm. But no, there's more!

The Flash can also vibrate through walls. Now last I heard, you can not move so fast you can vibrate through walls, so what actually happens is the Flash is so fast he can pick and choose the movement of his individual molecules and move them through other solid objects, phasing through solid matter like it ain't no thing. I mean you think a guy who runs at lightspeed would run into shit but no, the Flash just goes right through them. To top that with a cherry and some whipped cream (which the Flash made in like a millisecond, fucker) he can selectively choose to cause objects to be "okay" afterwards or FUCKING EXPLODE. That's right. He can run through you and make you blow up by transfering kinetic energy into you. Like Jesus. IT's bad enough you can't hit this guy, but he doesn't even have to punch you. Now your testicles have exploded and you're thinking you're about to hit him. Jesus? Just give it up. He's the fucking Flash.

Now imagine that somehow there's someone who can get around the Flash blowing your balls up secret ninja technique. Ok. He can also control the flow of energy between objects. This power makes no sense but basically he can throw a rock at you, and you think it's going slow and then he's like WHOOHOOO WIZARDLY FLASH POWERS and bam it's going at lightspeed. So he can throw seven million rocks at you in a second then make them all goes different speeds thus striking your nads with seven million rocks one after the other.

But wait! There's more! He can also take energy from the very power of speed and make clothes out of it. Yes. Flash makes his pants out of GOES FAST. The man is so fast he can make Flash pants that GOES FAST go right into. I don't even start to understand the physics of that but basically SPEED == REALLY TIGHT UNDERWEAR AND COOL LIGHTNING THINGIES OVER THE EAR. You would think this is the end of it but ok let's say Flash is fighting Superman and shit he's going to lose and FUCK how is Superman THIS fucking strong? I don't know he must be Superman fused with Batman into some sort of guy with tons of plans on how to punch you far harder than anyone else ok to end it off the Flash can GO BACK OR FORWARD IN TIME ON COMMAND.

How do you beat this dude? You're thinking you're hashing him good, laying down the beatdown, missing your balls and suddenly BAM YOUR MOM FELL DOWN THE STAIRS TWENTY YEARS AGO and there's a dent in your forehead and Superman not thunk so gud no more. Actually she didn't fall down the stairs the Flash put speed into them so they fell up her! Fuck you Flash! You moved the stairs to Soviet fucking russia! RUSH-A! Bitch.

Oh, and lastly his greatest power is he isn't fast in bed. He takes it slow and gets all the ladies with his superpowers then actually satisfies them in the sack. Who the Hell is this guy? You'd think he could AT LEAST be a premature ejaculator since his penis is moving at lightspeed but NOOOO he's even good in bed.

And that, ladies and gentlemen, is why Wolverine sucks cock and should go die in a freak greasefire.

[Howie Roary]

demo why do you always write like that?

[Demosthenes]

Copy and paste from somewhere else.

[Brill Weave]

HA!

[Odon]

it's not like I posted all of those points a few pages ago about flash, Demo knows what the fuck is up. Flash is Mary Sue #1, no one will beat him.

[Greatguardian]

The flash is also faster than light and defies the laws of physics. Your statement is invalid. The flash regularly traverses dimensions as he sees fit. Goku has never been shown to travel time of his own accord, just moving from one point in space to another.

Moving faster than light is, according to our current understanding of physics, traveling backwards in time so it doesn't really matter if the show demonstrates that or not obviously

[Howie Roary]

so now we're going to apply our current understanding of physics to determine the realistic outcome of this fight?

[Greatguardian]

so now we're going to apply our current understanding of physics to determine the realistic outcome of this fight?

obviously