so apparently anything can kill you

[Howie Roary]

I randomly remembered this story my Dad told me about this younger dude he worked with in the early 90s. The guy wasn't quite right and was always going on about how he could use literally any object to kill someone.

My Dad is a pretty run of the mill thinker and so were his co-workers, so they were pretty weirded out by this guy and tried to lighten the mood with some humor and they were joking around with the guy

"Hey Dale! Watch out for the paper towel roll! Josh is gonna use it to kill you haha!"


Josh just glared at them and was like, "Har har. Oh please. Paper towel? That's easy, I'd just soak it with water and stuff it down your throat until you suffocated."

...

Everyone just went dead quiet after that and didn't joke about it anymore.

[Howie Roary]

so how about it?

random objects, unlikely to be able to kill you -- how would you kill someone with them?

blades of grass?
a nintendo controller? (with no wire)
a pool noodle?
wet spaghetti?

[Brill Weave]

Was this guy's name Bullseye?

[Shiroikage]

i once sliced my hand on a blade of grass while playing frisbee and blood got everywhere
on the frisbee
on my pants
on my hair
on my shirt
on my face
on the grass

didn't realize I was all sorts of bloody until I went to a convenience store and saw the mirror
grass is dangerous as hell, kids

[Qalbert]

not sure why mert is dampened, but I imagine he can get pretty fierce

[Brill Weave]

Was this blade of grass taped to a straight razor?

[Howie Roary]

Was this blade of grass taped to a straight razor?

coulda been a gay razor

not that there's anything wrong with that

[Howie Roary]

not sure why mert is dampened, but I imagine he can get pretty fierce

Shakespeare in the Park got rained out

[Shiroikage]

Was this blade of grass taped to a straight razor?

would've made more sense

[Conrad]

Marijuana

[Howie Roary]

i once sliced my hand on a blade of grass while playing frisbee and blood got everywhere
on the frisbee
on my pants
on my hair
on my shirt
on my face
on the grass

didn't realize I was all sorts of bloody until I went to a convenience store and saw the mirror
grass is dangerous as hell, kids

were you by any chance asking Lou if you could use his place?

http://web.ics.purdue.edu/~mmauritz/...u%20bloody.JPG

[Howie Roary]

Marijuana

http://30.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lo...rndjo1_500.jpg

edit: could probably die from smoke inhalation though

[Howie Roary]

oh and shiro could have choked on all that blood or got blood poisoning?

[Shiroikage]

were you by any chance asking Lou if you could use his place?

http://web.ics.purdue.edu/~mmauritz/...u%20bloody.JPG

lol

[Shiroikage]

Marijuana

http://theworstthingsforsale.com/pos...ein-powder-are

[Conrad]

http://theworstthingsforsale.com/pos...ein-powder-are

"dontrustlemyjimmies liked this"

[Chun Liroy]

What about a button

[Howie Roary]

what kind of button?

[Howie Roary]

a jacket button could probably be filed and cut a major artery or eyeball or something

or it could be shoved (non-filed) forcefully into someone's nose or ear or eye socket causing some pretty major damage


and presumably in the right circumstances it could be choked on

[Darkslitter]

a nintendo controller? (with no wire)

Could probably beat someones skull in with it...Could also probably make a shank out of the circuit board inside

a pool noodle?

Suffocation

wet spaghetti?