Feminism Thread

[NynJa]

When you insist on initiating conversation with someone who's clearly not showing interest (i.e. not making eye contact, no body language), just squawking that shit at them is annoying them. Which is harassing them. Which is harassment.

The key word there is INITIATE. Do you know what "initiate" means?

in·i·ti·ate
verb
iˈniSHēˌāt/
1.
cause (a process or action) to begin.
"he proposes to initiate discussions on planning procedures"
synonyms: begin, start (off), commence; More
antonyms: finish
2.
admit (someone) into a secret or obscure society or group, typically with a ritual.
"she had been formally initiated into the sorority"


Someone needs to INITIATE something to strike a conversation. Its not like these people are physically grabbing her by the arm and going "hey bitch im trying to talk to you". They said "hey whats up" she ignored. The ones harassing are the ones who followed her, the others just moved on with their lives.

[Charismatic]

It's all about context. In a bar? Sure. At a party? Sure. Any other setting where it's common to introduce yourself to strangers? Go for it. At the gym? Eh, maybe, if she seems like she might possibly be interested. But on the street? No. On public transit? Don't even think about it. In an elevator, or while someone is working? Die in a fire.

And yet, I know people who have hit it off after meeting each other in pretty much all of these scenarios.
At a party, at the gym, on the street, on publich transit... in an elevator, at work and so on.
Just because 'you personally' feel that you should be considered unapproachable in certain places at certain times of the day and should only be spoken to while the person is facing east under a half moon on earth day doesn't mean everyone feels this way.

I don't know very many people who do.

[hey]

So what you're saying is


finally found the good video

wat

No. I've had a few people hit on me on the street before. It felt terrible every time. That's one advantage to being ugly though, it rarely happens to me.

[Mazmaz]

The key word there is INITIATE. Do you know what "initiate" means?

in·i·ti·ate
verb
iˈniSHēˌāt/
1.
cause (a process or action) to begin.
"he proposes to initiate discussions on planning procedures"
synonyms: begin, start (off), commence; More
antonyms: finish
2.
admit (someone) into a secret or obscure society or group, typically with a ritual.
"she had been formally initiated into the sorority"


Someone needs to INITIATE something to strike a conversation. Its not like these people are physically grabbing her by the arm and going "hey bitch im trying to talk to you". They said "hey whats up" she ignored. The ones harassing are the ones who followed her, the others just moved on with their lives.

at this point I'm convinced you're brain dead

[Penthesilea]

It's all about context. In a bar? Sure. At a party? Sure. Any other setting where it's common to introduce yourself to strangers? Go for it. At the gym? Eh, maybe, if she seems like she might possibly be interested. But on the street? No. On public transit? Don't even think about it. In an elevator, or while someone is working? Die in a fire.

You sound miserable. I say hello/good bye to people who step into the elevator with me at work.

[Penthesilea]

I agree with archi though. 95%+ of the time these dudes arent doin it to get some. They know they arent getting any from her.

You can't win the lottery if you dont play.

[NynJa]

wat

No. I've had a few people hit on me on the street before. It felt terrible every time. That's one advantage to being ugly though, it rarely happens to me.

So because YOU felt terrible, means the world should feel terrible about it? Should the world become a bunch of introverts because a couple girls dont like getting hit on?

[hey]

And yet, I know people who have hit it off after meeting each other in pretty much all of these scenarios.
At a party, at the gym, on the street, on publich transit... in an elevator, at work and so on.
Just because 'you personally' feel that you should be considered unapproachable in certain places at certain times of the day and should only be spoken to while the person is facing east under a half moon on earth day doesn't mean everyone feels this way.

I don't know very many people who do.

Sure, it can happen, but 99.9%+ of the time, it's not going to work, and it's not harmless.

[Charismatic]

and it's not harmless.

Really? Well, how is it harmful?

[Mazmaz]

You can't win the lottery if you dont play.

You can't play the lottery if there's no ticket for sale. If they're not looking at you/smiling/body language/etc. they're not interested in you playing.

[hey]

You sound miserable. I say hello/good bye to people who step into the elevator with me at work.

That's obviously a different situation. Say hi to your friends, family, coworkers or acquaintances if you see them. That's a polite thing to do. It's very different if you don't know them.

[NynJa]

Sure, it can happen, but 99.9%+ of the time, it's not going to work, and it's not harmless.

http://www.medicinenet.com/script/ma...ticlekey=15618

Allergy to peanuts affects 1.3% of the general population

peanuts are harmful to 1.3% of the general population, we should be working to get rid of peanuts.

[Mazmaz]

Really? Well, how is it harmful?

Off the top of my head? Life would get fucking exhausting if someone was trying to talk to you/harass you every 6 minutes.
Here, read the article: http://jezebel.com/watch-a-woman-exp...ass-1651800051

[Xajii]

And yet, I know people who have hit it off after meeting each other in pretty much all of these scenarios.
At a party, at the gym, on the street, on publich transit... in an elevator, at work and so on.
Just because 'you personally' feel that you should be considered unapproachable in certain places at certain times of the day and should only be spoken to while the person is facing east under a half moon on earth day doesn't mean everyone feels this way.

I don't know very many people who do.

Again, context.

If you know someone who has met the love of their life by calling after them as they walk briskly by making a point not to make eye contact or engage anybody on their path then I'll be damned. I just don't think that is the case.

[NynJa]

It's very different if you don't know them.

Once again, advocating everyone being introvert.
May I direct you here

[hey]

So because YOU felt terrible, means the world should feel terrible about it?

Yes, they should feel terrible about doing things that commonly make people feel terrible.

Really? Well, how is it harmful?

It bothers and annoys people, makes them feel unsafe, etc.

[Penthesilea]

Off the top of my head? Life would get fucking exhausting if someone was trying to talk to you/harass you every 6 minutes.
Here, read the article: http://jezebel.com/watch-a-woman-exp...ass-1651800051

Who walks around NYC for 10 hours straight?

[NynJa]

Yes, they should feel terrible about doing things that commonly make people feel terrible.
It bothers and annoys people, makes them feel unsafe, etc.

http://www.vice.com/en_uk/read/enjoy...is-lees-column
And for every woman who finds catcalls harassing and annoying and demeaning, theres another who enjoys the attention and takes the confidence boost.

[Charismatic]

Off the top of my head? Life would get fucking exhausting if someone was trying to talk to you/harass you every 6 minutes.
Here, read the article: http://jezebel.com/watch-a-woman-exp...ass-1651800051

Yo, if it was actual harassment I'd fully agree with you.
Someone talking to me every 6min might be annoying AF but it definitely ain't harmful.

It bothers and annoys people, makes them feel unsafe, etc.

OK..? And? So, how is it harmful?

[hey]

http://www.medicinenet.com/script/ma...ticlekey=15618

peanuts are harmful to 1.3% of the general population, we should be working to get rid of peanuts.

Let me know when cat calling only bothers 1.3% of the general population.

Once again, advocating everyone being introvert.
May I direct you here

Yeah, skimming through this, i see some pretty good advice. Stuff like join a club, play a sport, going to bars, video games, etc are great ways to meet people. I don't see anyone in that thread suggesting to say hi to random people on the street though, so i'm not sure what your point is.