Feminism Thread

[archibaldcrane]

You either have a reason to believe she'd be interested in talking to you (this could be anything from eye contact to something suggesting common interest, or a million other things that normal people perceive on the daily) or you don't.

If you don't find anything suggesting that she'd be up for a convo, don't try to start one, especially on the street with a total stranger, and especially if you only want to start said convo because you think she's attractive.

[Eurell]

You either have a reason to believe she'd be interested in talking to you (this could be anything from eye contact to something suggesting common interest, or a million other things that normal people perceive on the daily) or you don't.

If you don't find anything suggesting that she'd be up for a convo, don't try to start one, especially on the street with a total stranger, and especially if you only want to start said convo because you think she's attractive.

I have no reason to believe someone doesn't have interest in me. I'm goddamned amazing. If I say hi and I don't get a response, cool, I'll drop it. But I'm not going to avoid all new human interaction unless they are reading a book I've read or some shit.


Catcalling is fucking dumb and harassment. Saying Hello (in a non-creepy way) is not catcalling though. Even if you hope that your hello leads somewhere, its not harassment unless you keep pushing it after their disinterest in you is shown.

[archibaldcrane]

I have no reason to believe someone doesn't have interest in me. I'm goddamned amazing.

So if you "hi"d a couple dozen women, and none of them stopped to give you the time of day, would you shift your opinion of how amazing you are? Or would you persist doing so in the face of overwhelming evidence to the contrary?

[Koul]

so I guess when I'm walking my dog and people come up and talk to me because of that, I'm being harassed instead of chatted up. How silly of me. And yes, I make sure to have the bitchiest looking bitch face I can muster up on and my ear buds in and people still try and talk to me all because of my dog. Oh, the harassment!

[archibaldcrane]

so I guess when I'm walking my dog and people come up and talk to me because of that, I'm being harassed instead of chatted up.

so they have a reason to beli...

you know what, fuck it.

this "male persecution complex but not really but i'm doing it to make a point because i have zero ability to see things from another's point of view" is a pathetic attempt to grind this conversation into nothingness

congratulations

[Ksandra]

I kinda get what you are saying arch but trying to read whether someone is willing to talk or not is sooooooooooooo a flip of a coin and subjective in the eyes of the speaker.

Example today:

Met hubby for lunch at Denny's and it was completely overrun with nerds wearing crunchyroll badges. Some were in like costumes n' such.

We sat at the table both with our phones out trying to google and figure out wtf was going one. We figured it must be an anime convention but we knew of none happeing in the area.

Finally, I got pissed guessing because by my logic I could just ask one of them. The table next to us had a guy and a girl at it. Now, they were talking to each other, I have zero reason to believe they would want to answer my questions. And since by default these were all nerds, introverts are very likely.

But fuck it, I wanted to know so I asked. The guy was very pleasant and told me it was a small LoL event (lan party). I really didn't have any reason to believe he would be ok with me asking. But hell, I wanted to know and it was an innocent question.

I do agree people need to be cautious, but for the most part, a hi is going to be ok (as long as it's innocent, not like "hey baby" kind of thing). If the person doesn't respond back then you just move on with your life.

If the guy ignored my question, I wouldn't have thrown a fit, probably just ask another table.

Shit is not that serious when it comes to a simple phrase or question.

[Koul]

It's not male persecution complex. It's, "it happens to fucking everyone" or as I like to call it. "Life". Everyone out there can agree that a dude asking a chick if he can taste her vag is harassment. But sorry, you're not going to convince me that someone saying hi, is. Regardless if they only did it because the person was a female

[archibaldcrane]

You were honestly asking for help. Great. Dudes in the video saying "hi" or "god bless you" are dishonestly being "friendly" to hide their objectification of her body.

See the difference?

[Ksandra]

You were honestly asking for help. Great. Dudes in the video saying "hi" or "god bless you" are dishonestly being "friendly" to hide their objectification of her body.

See the difference?

Unless I am mistaken, we haven't been talking strictly about guys in the video. I have seen several people here talking about just saying "hi" not as a pick up line, not as a stalker invitation, just a hi to be polite.

[NynJa]

Dudes in the video saying "hi" or "god bless you" are dishonestly being "friendly" to hide their objectification of her body.

That is your inference
Unless youre a mind reader, you dont know.

[Karbuncle]

You were honestly asking for help. Great. Dudes in the video saying "hi" or "god bless you" are dishonestly being "friendly" to hide their objectification of her body.

See the difference?

So are you saying, saying hello to an attractive is woman bad because you believe any male who does it is clearly just looking to eye fuck her and then real fuck her? Or are you saying that being polite to hide their intent to fuck her is where it becomes bad, and not simply the act of saying hello?

Because I can't get behind the logic of any of those. In order to get into a relationship with anyone, the first steps are communication, and I can't fathom someone being offended by those steps. We are social animals and our social behavoir begins at a "hello" or "hi", regardless of intent thats the beginning of a relationship, friendly or otherwise. Some people will be friendly because they want in your pants, but not everyone will. I'm polite to everyone, men or women, regardless of rather or not I'm sexually attracted to them. I can't imagine this is uncommon.

Now, this is only specifically to the hi/hello greetings, I'm not touching the other things anymore, because we've all come to agree some of that stuff was clear harassment.

but I'm not in accordance that saying hello to someone, the basis for relationships everywhere, is somehow harassment because shes attractive.

[Koul]

So pretty much don't objectify anyone based on anything. Always be conscious of subconscious or potentially offensive behavior/attitude and tip-toe around everything because someone can be offended by whatever.

Can straight men say they like a ladys earrings or their outfit or is that objectification? Or is it all about tone? Which if it's all about tone then that can bring into the conversation a WHOOLLEEE other thing with offensive words being taken at face-value or with tone/intent included.

Here's why I ask those questions, because it seems like the woman claiming harassment want, essentially, rules in place to prevent that type of thing. But then you need to clearly define what is harassment which then becomes a huge grey fuckball of who-knows-what. Know what I'm sayin'

[hey]

Unless I am mistaken, we haven't been talking strictly about guys in the video. I have seen several people here talking about just saying "hi" not as a pick up line, not as a stalker invitation, just a hi to be polite.

Saying hi to people you walk past might be polite in a town of 50 people, but not when you're literally walking past someone every few seconds. Like damn, that would get exhausting.

[Thunder]

I have no reason to believe someone doesn't have interest in me. I'm goddamned amazing. If I say hi and I don't get a response, cool, I'll drop it. But I'm not going to avoid all new human interaction unless they are reading a book I've read or some shit.


Catcalling is fucking dumb and harassment. Saying Hello (in a non-creepy way) is not catcalling though. Even if you hope that your hello leads somewhere, its not harassment unless you keep pushing it after their disinterest in you is shown.

This is the money. You ARE god-dammed amazing Ideas where you need to be always checking/waiting for permission by looking at details like eye contact, smile, etc or "hi" isn't an elaborate enough of an "opener" is literally the runoff shit from PUA communities. It's what CURSES guys who just want a healthy sex life with women/a women

The guys in the video were just losers. They did not believe they were amazing. "hey. hey. hey. u wont talk 2 me cux im too ugly?" I can feel the weight of his shit personality by just trying to remember what he said

So if you "hi"d a couple dozen women, and none of them stopped to give you the time of day, would you shift your opinion of how amazing you are? Or would you persist doing so in the face of overwhelming evidence to the contrary?

No, I would not shift my opinion of how amazing I am because my value is not determined by people's reactions to me. I get plenty of "rejections". Anybody who talks to enough women will ALWAYS be dealing with flakes, bad nights, etc etc it will never stop

I get your point though - those guys in the videos should have realized that what they're doing is not working... but they'd have to be smart enough to realize that lol

But the reason it isn't working isn't because they're saying "hi" or approaching a women who isn't giving them permission to approach. It's because they're losers with crappy personalities. The guys in the video are basically being annoying needy little bitches. It's like asking to be in the warm end of the pool vs BEING the warm end of the pool, asking to get your empty cup filled vs offering a full pitcher, asking to be in the party vs BEING the party. Usually girls can tell the difference immediately

I don't think you realize just how common it is for some guys to go up to a women and get her number or go on an insta-date right there. Even if she isn't giving "permission" or the "opener" is just hi. EVEN if it's in a crowded city like in the vid where she's walking, you RUN OVER, hi her, and keep talking/walking with her as she's walking. It's not a big deal when you're not a loser like the guys in the vid and actually have a positive personality, good emotions, and feel comfortable - people don't really say no to that

[Zeb]

So, how many of you get pissed off when homeless people are holding up a sign asking for money and say "Hi" as you pass by?

[notorious bum]

We can all agree there is nuance to how politeness is used, yeah? I think with everyone's different life experiences, backgrounds, and overall level of daily interactions with random strangers, it kinda makes it impossible to come to a consensus on situations where you should take it upon yourself to say "hi" to someone out of the blue. From what I can tell, nobody here subscribes to the aforementioned "pick-up artist" culture, so I'm sure most of yall actually try to respect people's space and have some sort of self-awareness that these cat-callers and wannabe playboys lack.

[NynJa]

So i was at the club for a post halloween party
And these bros hollered at me for a photo

I felt so harassed.

[hey]

So i was at the club for a post halloween party
And these bros hollered at me for a photo

I felt so harassed.

Don't go to the club then.

[Eurell]

So if you "hi"d a couple dozen women, and none of them stopped to give you the time of day, would you shift your opinion of how amazing you are? Or would you persist doing so in the face of overwhelming evidence to the contrary?

Sorry, wasn't ignoring you. Passed the fuck out lol

The answer is probably no. Probably only because a couple dozen people in a row ignoring me has never ever happened. I say hi to tons of people. Plenty of people say hi to me. It's a fucking greeting lol. This is how you start your interaction for, you don't need any specific reasons to acknowledge someone else's existance.

And Thunder also had a good reason. People not responding to my hello, does not mean I'm not amazing lol.

Archi are you legit saying you have never walked passed a stranger in public and said hi or nodded your head towards em or something?

snip

Pretty much what the pro-hello side has been saying. Some motherfuckers can be creepy even with just saying hi. That doesnt make saying hi to strangers (in a non creppy way) harassment though.

Don't go to the club then.

Victim blaming.

[archibaldcrane]

I say hi or good morning to people I pass when I'm going for a walk all the time...if eye contact is made first, and I don't only do it to attractive females.