Feminism Thread

[Tarage]

No one is judging anyone of anything. But if you don't know, you better be prepared for the worst. Don't assume someone you don't know is safe to be around, and keep your guard up, and be prepared, just in case they are not. That is the message you are supposed to take from "all men are potential rapists".

Like, which is it? Do you want women to worry about their own safety, or not?

I thought women didn't want to have to worry about that. I thought telling women to worry about their own safety was sexist because it implied that the problem was theirs to fix. Which is it?

I for one am enjoying watching you bend into a pretzel trying to argue this. Oh wait, is having that mental image sexist? I'm sorry~

[Thunder]

I don't think we are really as angry as you seem to think. For me, it really is the oppression. I am harassed every single day over being trans, by people who don't think i even deserve to live. It's extremely upsetting, but it doesn't really make me that angry. More than that, it really just makes me want to discuss these problems, and try to work out why they happen, and how we can work on trying to improve them, because if it can make life even a tiny bit easier for others, then i think there is no better thing i could possibly do with my time than that. For me, it's really not about myself. There's no hope for me. I really just want to do some good, even if it's just a tiny bit, for others, who have a tough life made tougher by people who don't realize the harm they are doing. I really don't spend so much time discussing these things because i'm angry. I don't know about others' motives though.

It might not be anger, but see that there? I really hate to have to see you say something like that

It's not that you never should, it's that you shouldn't if you have no reason to believe they wish to speak to you, or especially if they are doing something (such as walking somewhere).

Is my reason to believe they wish to speak me to me because I've moved heaven and earth to get to be an amazing version of myself enough?

Yes, of course. Of course the world is never going to be fair, but when the difference between two near-identical people, who really only differ in skin color, sexual orientation, gender, etc can leave one of them hundreds of times better off than the other, it's just a little absurd.

Ya, totally get why you'd say that. But here's the thing. The world, on a fundamental level, works like that. Racism, sexism, etc aside. That stuff might not be all that special.

Here's the rub, people only work as hard as they have to. If you, because of circumstance, need to work way harder... that can be a good thing so long as the person's passion/vision is so strong that they don't get discouraged by the "height of the fence". The big thing here is that they have the "advantage" that every single move, or even breath for your case, is judged by the world. They have negative feedback for every misaligned step.

I legitimately feel bad for the 10/10 girls because they have almost ZERO negative feedback in their lives (and I'd argue are the most privileged people on earth). I remember telling a girl I was with for a while that her eating habits are starting to catch up to her and you know what? I was the bad guy. She had never heard criticism like that in her LIFE and could turn to the first 5 people she saw and get the opposite message I gave her. Wild, right? They live in a world where their friends wont call them out and other guys/strangers "omg so beautiful :D" because the perceived value of that hot girl is so high. Well, that bitch got 2fat4me and I moved on

As a guy I legitimately think the biggest privilege I have is that among friends it is very natural to get negative feedback for your hair, clothes, attitude, personality, etc. Girls don't get that the same way, AT ALL. I've lost girlfriends before because I laughed like one of the bros at a "omg no ur so pretty" because I thought it was a joke and wanted to help them the same way I help my male friends. But they have a different set of "privileges" and I've learned I need to communicate to them differently if I want to actually make a difference.

Whatever happens with laws/etc there will always be unfair situations: parents died too early, siblings died, tragic accidents, etc. But those can be good things. It's like getting a life forged in fire - dat shit b hot, yo. I want people to accept their adversities AND THEN work on solving problems in the world to make it better for others. Doing it the opposite way is a mess of negativity and doesn't actually solve problems, imo.

[hey]

My question is: Why don't you see every woman as a potential rapist? (The fact that you don't is where this kind of dips into sexism).
Why don't you see every person as a potential serial killer?
Why don't you see everyone as a potential anything that you fear?

If you want to make the argument that all men have the potential to rape, you need to realize that everyone has the potential to do you some harm regardless of what. If you want to live in that world of fear, go right ahead. It doesn't make it any more rational to do so though.

I do, that's why i don't get into vans when offered candy, by men or women. I try to avoid things that are of greater than normal risk, because i know, there's absolutely no way for me to know what some stranger on the street is thinking. There's no way for me to know what they will do. If someone attacks me, i cannot defend myself and I cannot outrun them. If i am to have any chance, i need to be ready before anything happens. So yes, i consider the possibility that someone might be looking to hurt someone, and act accordingly. It helps to keep me alive. Being afraid is better than being dead.

I thought women didn't want to have to worry about that. I thought telling women to worry about their own safety was sexist because it implied that the problem was theirs to fix. Which is it?

I for one am enjoying watching you bend into a pretzel trying to argue this. Oh wait, is having that mental image sexist? I'm sorry~

The problem isn't theirs to fix, but everyone still needs to worry about their own safety, because right or wrong isn't going to protect them. If they fail to do so, and get attacked, it's not their fault, but if they end up dead, that doesn't really matter, now does it?

[Day]

How old are you hey? srs question.

[wipers]

If someone offers me candy you're damn right I'm getting into that van.

[hey]

It might not be anger, but see that there? I really hate to have to see you say something like that

Well, it's true.

Is my reason to believe they wish to speak me to me because I've moved heaven and earth to get to be an amazing version of myself enough?

lol no.

Ya, totally get why you'd say that. But here's the thing. The world, on a fundamental level, works like that. Racism, sexism, etc aside. That stuff might not be all that special.

That doesn't mean we shouldn't try to make it better.

I legitimately feel bad for the 10/10 girls because they have almost ZERO negative feedback in their lives (and I'd argue are the most privileged people on earth).

That's ridiculous.

She had never heard criticism like that in her LIFE

I really doubt that. If she hadn't, that's not typical for anyone, no matter how good they look.

As a guy I legitimately think the biggest privilege I have is that among friends it is very natural to get negative feedback for your hair, clothes, attitude, personality, etc. Girls don't get that the same way, AT ALL. I've lost girlfriends before because I laughed like one of the bros at a "omg no ur so pretty" because I thought it was a joke and wanted to help them the same way I help my male friends. But they have a different set of "privileges" and I've learned I need to communicate to them differently if I want to actually make a difference.

Yeah, i don't think so. Girls do the same things, just in different ways.

I want people to accept their adversities AND THEN work on solving problems in the world to make it better for others. Doing it the opposite way is a mess of negativity and doesn't actually solve problems, imo.

I think just accepting that "this is how the world works" is the most harmful thing anyone could do. By accepting major problems, you are saying that they are okay, and aren't a priority to fix. But they are.

[hey]

How old are you hey? srs question.

22

[Acevalefor]

Your fear of life is going to be the very thing that gets you killed.

[hey]

I'm not afraid of life though.

[Drex]

Whatever happens with laws/etc there will always be unfair situations: parents died too early, siblings died, tragic accidents, etc. But those can be good things. It's like getting a life forged in fire - dat shit b hot, yo. I want people to accept their adversities AND THEN work on solving problems in the world to make it better for others. Doing it the opposite way is a mess of negativity and doesn't actually solve problems, imo.

"Take what's coming to you" is not a mess of negativity? Personally, I think taking minimal steps to get your ounce of prevention is a positive mindset that avoids your allegedly inevitable pound of cure later. Paying attention to your surroundings, locking your door when you get home, receiving vaccinations, and looking both ways before you cross the street are insurance policies that cost action/attention. As long as the benefit of avoiding getting mugged, robbed, sick, or hit by a car is worth the cost of being a few minutes behind on your facebook posts, you should do it. Any decent parent teaches their kid this, and if the parents failed, then I would hope the proverbial village would be willing to pick up the slack.

Any attempt to discourage these basic insurance policies creates easier victims, which enables muggers, viral infections, robbers, and rape (admittedly, bad drivers usually lack intent, but it "helps" them kill people with stupidity regardless). It's wrong to assume a rape victim was at fault but that's often a straw argument dragged out so someone can flip the "victim blaming" cognitive killswitch and "win" the argument. Meanwhile the girl was still raped and people seeing the conversation intuit that it is both their fault and not their problem simultaneously. No man or woman benefits from this.

Learning from the mistakes of past generations is not unique to humans but disregarding it as a negative outlook is absurd. It doesn't "solve" problems in the conventional sense, it prevents them from being problems in the first place. If that wasn't the problem in a given case and someone asserts that it was, great, call them an idiot and move on.

[kuronosan]

Wait, you're 22 and your entire world view is set for life?

Wait till you catch up to those of us in our 30s-40s. I think you'll find men (and women) of our generation to be VERY different than you think.

[hey]

Wait, you're 22 and your entire world view is set for life?

No? If you disagree, make your case, i'm here to listen and learn.

[kuronosan]

I can't make a case outside of anecdotal evidence. What I can tell you is that you're young and your experiences are far from collective certainty.

You're smart. You should know that.

[Teryu]

Wait wait wait, are people saying there wasn't a thing that said all men were rapists? Did people forget about this shit?



Edit: Picture was way bigger than I thought it would be sorry.

[hey]

Wait wait wait, are people saying there wasn't a thing that said all men were rapists? Did people forget about this shit?

[IMG.]http://i.imgur.com/KBlyghp.jpg[/IMG]

Edit: Picture was way bigger than I thought it would be sorry.

But it says right there, not all of them.

[Teryu]

Are you serious

[NynJa]

But it says right there, not all of them.

Lol so take a handful
Since its conveying the same message you are: "all men are potential rapists, so judge them accordingly"

[Priran]

But it says right there, not all of them.

[hey]

Judge them

Can you stop saying that, it's getting old.

[Koul]

Reading between the lines it's saying all men are shitty rapists even though only some men are shitty rapists. @Hey. That's why people (including me) are facepalming at what you're saying.

Here, let me try another thing. 10% of woman are golddiggers. Therefore all woman have the potential to be golddiggers and shouldn't ever be trusted.
Or my old coworker gloated about how she lied to her now husband that she was on the pill and purposefully got pregnant because she was baby hungry. Therefore, all woman do that and shouldn't be trusted ever.

Does the ridiculous statement that all men have the potential to be rapists therefore NONE should be trusted make sense?

Or what about how all humans, technically, have the potential to be shitty. Should everyone never be trusted ever and should we all just be super paranoid about who's going to be a shitbag to us next? Sorry, I find that extremely unrealistic. If that's the way you want to live, enjoy your severe paranoia.