2012 NHL Offseason Thread: ROCK OUT WITH YOUR LOCKOUT

[Selamis]

Trying to find a bet for which will end first, NHL lockout or Hostess union lockout.

Moneys on Hostess because people want them nuke-proof treats.

I read that Hostess and the baker's unions reached an agreement lol.

*Edit to meet tomorrow and talk

[Richybear]

Trying to find a bet for which will end first, NHL lockout or Hostess union lockout.

Moneys on Hostess because people want them nuke-proof treats.

That and more people know of Twinkies, so I'm sure in places it's like "Whoa, did you know there's a sport called hockey? They have pro leagues and everything. Says here on page 63 of the paper under the obituary for someone's pet cat, that some guy named Gary Bettman is stopping them from playing."

[Vaspinne]

Jaroslav Spacek retired today. Also, the Shanahammer will be part of the negotiation meetings tonight. Should be busting heads hopefully

[Richybear]

He pretty much retired when he became an Oiler.
Though it was fun to yell "Shoooooooot the fucking puck, Space-Kay!" at the tv.

[Vaspinne]

He pretty much retired when he became an Oiler.
Though it was fun to yell "Shoooooooot the fucking puck, Space-Kay!" at the tv.

The more I think about it, the more it occurs to me that besides like Nik Lidstrom and maybe Drew Doughty, every fan yells at every defencemen to shoot more, lol

[Deader2818]

Earlier in last season, we yelled at Drew a lot, lol.

[Richybear]

Yeah, Hemsky is usually my biggest target though. For the 3 shifts he plays per season before ending up on the IR for 6 months.
I think the only living things enjoying the shortage of hockey on TV are our dogs. Lack of GF and I yelling at the tv freaking them out. LOL

[Callisto]

The more I think about it, the more it occurs to me that besides like Nik Lidstrom and maybe Drew Doughty, every fan yells at every defencemen to shoot more, lol

Not here, we all think Keith takes enough shots, we just yell at him to stop blasting them directly into people's legs

[Wulfgang]

People who yell "shoot!" at hockey games drive me fucking insane. And someone call the Make a Wish foundation because I am dying without hockey.

[Richybear]

People who yell "shoot!" at hockey games drive me fucking insane. And someone call the Make a Wish foundation because I am dying without hockey.

You clearly haven't watched an Oilers game.
I swear the key to making Hemsky shoot would be to tape a picture of a stick to pass to in one of the corners. Otherwise, I swear that oft-injured bastard would pass during a shootout.

[Wulfgang]

Sergei Kostitsyn has the same problem. Some Preds' fans now shout "Pass!" instead during games hoping he gets confused.

[BadKarma]

I love DGB

Hello, thank you for calling the pizza delivery hotline. How can I help you?

You say your name is Gary, and you need some pizza delivered to a very important negotiation meeting you're currently having. Well we can certainly do that, sir. What size pizza would you like?

Hmm, we don't really have "record-breakingly large but about to get a lot smaller". I'll just put you down for a medium, which comes to $10. Sound OK? Great. And what toppings did you want on that?

Oh, you guys are having some trouble agreeing on that part. I see. Not even speaking the same language, eh? I can imagine that could be frustrating. Well, how about we just divide the whole thing right down the middle?

You say that's "problematic". Um, why? I mean, how hard is it to just split something 50/50 when everyone can see that's clearly what makes the most sense and…

I'm sorry, I'm having trouble hearing you with that other gentleman shouting in the background. You say somebody named Donald has something to important to ask me? OK, go ahead and put him on the phone.

Hello? Sir, I can't make out what you're saying. Please stop yelling and… "Make whole"? Make a whole what? I assure you sir, we'll make the whole pizza. Please put Gary back on the phone.

OK, so we've got one pizza. Is there anything else you'd like? Maybe some drinks or breadsticks?

What's that? You say you want a fortune cookie. No sir, I'm afraid you can't have that. Well that's very interesting that your friend David got one when he ordered from a Chinese takeout place, but I'm not sure what that has to do with us. Just because a vaguely similar but distinctly separate business offers something doesn't mean that you can automatically expect that…

Sir, I'd appreciate if you didn't take that condescending tone with me.

OK, so that's one pizza for $10 and… wait, what do you mean you're only paying $8 now? You already agreed to pay $10. What do you mean "things have changed"? You can't just agree to pay one price and then change your mind, that's not fair. And please ask that gentleman in the back to stop yelling about how he told me so, it's very distracting and I…

What? No sir, we don't need a two-week moratorium. That suggestion doesn't even make sense. We can get this done right now.

OK, so just to summarize: That's one pizza, made whole, with different toppings split 50/50 eventually but maybe closer to 52/48 at first, and costing $8 even though you already agreed to pay $10. And did you have any special instructions for the delivery driver? Hold on, let me write this down. "Run… over… Kris… Versteeg…" Right, well we'll see what we can do but no promises.

Just one last thing: Are you going to be paying with cash or credit? What's that? You say you're "planning to find some spineless city council and stick them with the bill". Wonderful.

OK, I think we've got this all sorted out, Gary. So where do you want this delivered?

Sigh. No sir, we can't deliver to "an undisclosed location". You're going to have to tell us where you…

Hello?

Oh well. I'm sure he'll be calling back. We seems to go through the same thing with that guy every few years.

[Sepukku]

I got brill added on ps3 last night... can't wait to curb stomp him in COD/BO2 and NHL13.

[Callisto]

lol I just saw that Setoguchi is playing in the ECHL...

[Cail]

Chris Botta ‏@ChrisBottaNHL
Player text on NHL meeting: "More wasted time. Our choice is either give up everything to the league or watch them cancel the season."

/sigh

[Brill Weave]

I got brill added on ps3 last night... can't wait to curb stomp him in COD/BO2 and NHL13.

HA! I will shoot you in the face.

[Ratatapa]

no one wanna kill me in nhl13

[Judai]

People who yell "shoot!" at hockey games drive me fucking insane.

The best part is when they get mad after they shoot and miss. What did you expect from the 4th line tough guy?

Even better at Soccer games when they yell at defensemen to shoot and are annoyed when it's 10ft over the net and 7ft wide.

[Thoronas]

NHLPA is presenting a new proposal in a few minutes. If it doesn't go well more games will be cancelled, possibly including the all star game. No pressure.

[Brill Weave]

What do you mean if?