Looking for some advice on a divorce situation.

[myreality]

What state and county did the divorce proceedings go through? Would be good to know since different states/counties vary in how they define things.

Should help some.
http://www.winningcustody.com/


Not sure if this will help but i am going to assume that gaining a mountain of evidence without her knowing would be your best bet. Also apparently if you fail at your first attempt to gain custody the second go around will be nearly impossible.

Edit: Social Services would be a good place to start when gaining information on court custody battles. Just make sure to be careful on what information you give them as they will start snooping around and may tip of the mother.

[Skjie]

Hit her with a water bottle. Also, good luck trying to overturn custody against the mother.

[Tyche]

I don't think the point is overturning custody as much as increasing his rights as a father and having a legal backing and understanding of what's appropriate for both parties.

[Alvinho]

I'll be terse. Tell your mom to fuck off and you're taking him. It's not her responsibility, it's your's and your father's. If she doesn't like it, call the cops (who will laugh at her as he has visitation rights). If your dad pulls the rug out from under her, he'll get the kid if she cannot support him in a stable environment. Your dad needs to leverage up Merrill Lynch style.

This. However, I cannot see how little brother will avoid going through some bad times due to bold part.

[Melena]

Dear god your mom sounds like she could be related to my mother. total psycho bitch.

[Damane]

I am not from the USA, but from Switzerland. In any case, since your father is Married again, your Father should have a fairly high shot at getting full custody for his 10 year old son. At least in switzerland councils would consider a newly married father as a more stable family surrounding for your brother then a single divorced mother. This fact can also play a huge role. Just recently a Friend of mine lost custody over her son, because her ex-husband got married again and proceeded to gain full custody with success, the new marriage played a huge role in it: a stable family surrounding, allways a person to watch over the kid etc. etc..
Again I'm not familair with USA Rights, but I think this might maybe help.

[mallister]

custody is extremely stacked in favor of the mother in the US.

[Lucavi]

I'll go ahead and assume you guys aren't black.

Not with all that money flying around.

[Melena]

custody is extremely stacked in favor of the mother in the US.

This. One of my old coworkers at EA, caught his wife dealing drugs out of their house while their infant child was asleep in the other room, cheating on him, going on cross state benders, etc, and he still had I think a six month fight to get sole custody of his child.

[Apelila]

It sounds like your dad needs a good book entitled "This stupid bitch is playing you for all she can".

No offense, the way you paint your mom makes her sound like a scheming, manipulative twat who's only 2 goals in getting custody were
1: Child support and bills paid
2: To fuck with your dad

in any order you prefer. I could be wrong but every single thing you've brought up about her comes from your suspicion that she's only a bitch for the sake of being a bitch. If it acts like a bitch and talks like a bitch well..... in my experience people's bitch sensors are very well calibrated.

Your Dad may just be tired of dealing with her. Bitches do that. You need to point out to your dad that this is extremely bad for your younger brother in general and start saving up some of the paperwork people have mentioned. A psychotic, self-centered American woman with the sense of entitlement you've painted is a horrible person to raise a child. She will never be below crying, screaming and playing the victim card as hard as possible. You'll need as much as you can to show that the victim card is bullshit.

Also, don't stop paying her bills now but -definitely- bring it up when consulting the lawyer. Your dad is allowing her to save money (you've said she isn't) by doing that. He'll basically be paying for her defense against anything he brings to the table. The lawyer would be able to tell you how and when to do it so it wont be a negative for your dad, and how to do it so that you don't accidentally give her time to stop spending like mad and saving for the battle. I guarantee you a crazy bitch will always, ALWAYS sacrifice everything to spite someone.

[Kanriel]

Your father needs to man up and make a play for full custody and drop your mother like a rock. My parents went through a divorce when I was a kid and my father just rolled over in the name of protecting his children and I really, really wish he had never done so. Tell him he needs to do what is best for his child, which may suck for now, but is much better in the long run. Your mother is a bad influence and she should not even get to see your brother until she fixes her shit (which will never happen until your brother is taken from her for good).

[kyod]

This really isn't a question for BG, TBH (Family Law can vary by State). Contact your local Bar Association and ask about lawyers specializing in Family Law. The Bar Association will provide you with a list of them and can refer you to some for pro bono legal advice. If your mother isn't abiding by the terms of the divorce, you need to get it enforced.