Low Sex Drive

[wyrmtung]

My girlfriend asked my male opinion on a situation her friend is going through. She's got a friend whose husband does not want to have sex. She's asked him if he watches porn or masturbates. He always says no way, he's not interested in any of that.

I called bullshit. He's getting his rocks off somehow. My girlfriend is not so sure so I wanted to see if the community agrees. I'll concede that it's possible for a guy to have no sex drive but I say it's not this guy.

For weeks I have heard stories on this guy and here is why I feel he's full of shit.

• The wife is beautiful. She looks like a better-looking Melissa Joan Hart with a big chest. She's a little over weight because of their kid but only like 20 lbs over. Nothing three months of working out can't fix.
  
• He appreciates the added curves. Her chest went from a C to a DD after her pregnancy two years ago. She says he's often grabbing at her boobs and ass but never tries to take it further.
  
• Other than the drive-by boob or ass grab, he never touches her, kisses her, or any other kind of intimacy.
  
• Sometimes when he knows she's really drunk, he will try to pressure her into having anal sex. She always refuses. Sometimes if she refuses he will deny her regular sex. Other times, he will agree to regular sex but then try to have an "accidental slip" in the middle of it.
  
• They have sex like once every two months.

So, this guy is in his early 30's, has an attractive wife who is ready and willing, rarely has sex with her, says he doesn't watch porn, and says he doesn't masturbate. I say he's either having an affair or masturbating. I just can't believe the guy isn't having an orgasm on the side.

I think the anal sex thing is pretty telling. It's pretty odd to me that someone that never watches porn is so interested in anal sex. Like where does one get the idea if not from porn?

And I have another reason why I think he's lying about not watching porn: He likes when his wife is completely shaved. I just think that this is also something that became popular though porn. Growing up, nobody shaved completely. Now that porn is more available, it seems that anal and the bush of a 12 year old is some sort of accepted norm in today's porn. Admittedly it's a weak point but it's something to consider.

[Zilong]

totally gay

[bechyni]

He's gay, case closed

[Milkster]

Couple's counseling or she could talk to him and not her friend's boyfriend's internet forum pseudo-friends.

[Stumblingdrunk]

I think the anal sex thing is pretty telling. It's pretty odd to me that someone that never watches porn is so interested in anal sex. Like where does one get the idea if not from porn?

Seriously?

When did he start acting like this in relation to the birth of the child?

[Souj]

In normal circumstances, I would say just masturbating wouldn't be enough to stop someone from having sex. Low sex drive is possible - Low testosterone. but has she given any other reason for believing he's cheating on her? Does he disappear for some time or "stay at work late"? Or is she just really boring in bed so masturbation is more than enough for him and his wanting anal is just for excitement? Have her do something crazy/different the next time she tries. It doesn't have to be anal. Don't be so quick to blame the man when it could be her fault, assuming they just do the same routine over and over.

and yeah, lol@ thinking porn is the only place for someone to want to try anal.

[Sythe]

I was gonna say gay as well, but if she just had a kid it could be that her vagina is a hallway to his hotdog and he's not able to enjoy it.

[Blubbartron]

It's actually not all that uncommon for men to become physically repulsed by their mate's vagina after a child is born. For good reason, too; childbirth can completely WRECK a vagina. 4th degree lacerations are uncool, broskis.

[Tajin]

Couple's counseling or she could talk to him and not her friend's boyfriend's internet forum pseudo-friends.

P. Much
Beautiful and willing wife are irrelevant (not always but not unusual ) to a man's sex drive. We're fucked up like that.

[Souj]

P. Much
Beautiful and willing wife are irrelevant (not always but not unusual ) to a man's sex drive. We're fucked up like that.

reminds me of this image.
Register to see the NSFW content

[Xajii]

Way too complicated of an issue for a forum who doesn't know these people. Also pretty uncalled for to jump to "gay". There are good sex counselors out there. Reach out.

[Lucavi]

Her beauty means nothing in this situation; he was already used to her beauty by the time she popped out the kid (or before), so its irrelevant. Its the same thing as a winning sports team's fans overreacting when they're down a few points, despite knowing that they'll make the playoffs each year - they've grown accustomed to the winning, and have already adopted "winning season" as "normal".

Dude is either gay or is repulsed by what the childbirth did to her vagina. He wants anal because he either wants a tight hole (tighter than a potentially-stretched pussy) or because he wants a man's ass.

My recommendation for this is my recommendation for every relationship issue: fucking communication between both parties, and a trust and respect that both parties will tell the truth, or, at the very least, what needs to be said for growth in the relationship to occur.

[hey]

Either he's gay, or he should see a doctor. Obviously it's impossible to not want to have sex with a hot woman, unless there's some medical issue.

[Stumblingdrunk]

He could also be terrified of potentially knocking her up again. Anal also means no risk of pregnancy, not just a tight hole. The bottom line is there is way too much going on for you anyone to be jumping to conclusions

[Salodin]

Can't believe it took this long....

Pics of the wife or gtfo

[Zigma]

I would not say he is gay. Not by a long shot but there is something definately wrong. There might be a number of different reasons as to why he is no longer having sexy time with his wife. I would not rule cheating as of yet. Depending on how many years he's been together, he might love her, but he might not be in love with her anymore. It happends. Unless both parties met and it was love at first sight, there will be some type of distancing but never to the extent that one will cheat on his or her significant other.

The other option ... she's terrible in bed. Period. If you ask me. I'd go with this one.

[Khajit]

Send her to my address so that I can accurately gauge her blowjob skills. If she passes the long rigorous testing i provide then he clearly is gay.

[Aristio]

Long list of things possibly going on in his head

-Low Testosterone
-Unattractive to him after child birth
-Something triggered in him that causing a sexual block, maybe former child abuse (Something traumatic)
-She's boring as shit in bed
-She's selfish as shit in bed
-"My life isn't what I thought it was going to be"
-He doesn't want a chance at another kid
-Tired of her accusations of him cheating on her
-Too embarrassed to actually say what's in his head
-Too much stress
-Doesn't feel the "passion" of the relationship
-Doesn't feel like his efforts are being rewarded enough
-Secretly hiding Erectile Dysfunction
-Wants to have sex with a man (Gay or Bi)
-Bored with his own life
-Physical problem that is causing pain during sex (Back pain, neck pain, ect)

There's plenty going on his head that he isn't telling her. The main thing they need to do is try to talk this shit out. Get him to open up a bit and see what's honestly going on.

Also, been shaving my pubes since I was like 13. Also find a pussy more attractive if it's shaved as I love to eat out. Pussy is the best tasting thing in the world.

[Marokko]

Is he on anti depressants? Quickest way to become sexually apathetic.

[mallister]

only way to save this thread is for the subject of the OP to come and defend his manhood. i'm waiting, with popcorn.