The Terror Of Catcalling

[Nirokun!]

I've had it happen to me that I can recall, at least twice in the past year. Both occasions occurred in DC while working (I'm a visiting nurse so I have to walk to/from homes/apartment buildings.) Because I was working, I was alone, and both situations involved more than one man while I was walking back to my car.

To the people who said, basically, that we're safe because these things are just words, that's so backwards. Everyone deserves to feel safe and be safe. If you're not a woman, it's so unlikely to happen to you that you'd never feel that vulnerability. The only universal thing I can even try and stretch it to be like is when someone is following you and you're alone. Sure, I carry pepper spray (after I was sexually assaulted, I have 2 of them and always keep one attached to my keys and grip it as I walk to my car and loop the keyring on my fingers.) Sure, I'm tall. But if I'm alone, I'm alone. I know the good neighborhoods, I know the bad ones. I ask every new patient about the safety of their neighborhood.

If you feel safe and don't have to do these things, lucky you. Most likely nothing will happen to you. But don't disregard the people who've been harassed for doing absolutely nothing, on a regular basis, who've been educated daily by their fathers to "Be careful" and "Don't look at anyone, don't talk to anyone, because that's an invitation for guys" and "You need to be home early, before it gets dark". Let's not mention the rape/sexual assault stuff we see.

[Kuya]

Yeah... not sure what it is about running but this is pretty much the only time I've seen it happen to someone else and/or happen to me (as far as guys go).

Maybe it's because sometimes when you're running/jogging, people can very clearly see your dick.

[Ashmada]

In some areas of Brussels (and in the french parliament!), it gets pretty bad as well:

http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/2012...-sofie-peeters

When Sofie Peeters moved to Brussels for a film degree, she found herself confronted with a depressing problem almost every time she left her front door. Walking around her local neighbourhood, the mixed, working-class district of Anneessens, at any time of day she would be greeted with cat-calls, wolf-whistles and jeers of "slag" and "how much do you cost?"

Sick of wondering whether it was her fault for wearing particular clothes, she made her end of year film on the topic, armed with a hidden camera to record the street harassment.

Female acquaintances admitted the problem was so bad they never went out in a skirt, avoided the metro, never made eye contact with men, avoid walking certain streets, never wore shorts and in one case, only ever left their house by bike.

The student film, Femme de la Rue, a shocking account of everyday sexist insults in the street, is now at the centre of a political and social storm in Belgium and across its borders. After it was shown on TV and at a screening last week it has become an internet success and triggered a public debate.

Belgian politicians say they were already planning legislation to crack down on sexist insults and harassment, promising fines for offenders. French feminist groups seized on the film to highlight similar problems in France and break the taboo surrounding street harassment. In turn, Peeters has denied charges of racism as the film shows mainly jeers by men of immigrant north African origin.

In the film, she walks round her neighbourhood wearing jeans and a cardigan and then a knee-length summer dress and flat boots. A hidden camera shows that both times, men – from youths to groups of older men on cafe terraces – leer, cat-call and proposition her. She is called "whore", "slut", "bitch" and told that she looks up for sex. One man follows her saying she should come to his house or a hotel room. She says she gets this kind of comment eight to 10 times a day.

"The first question women ask is: 'Is it me? Is it something I have done, is it my clothes?' But when I made this film I saw it wasn't just me, lots of women have this problem," Peeters told Belgian TV.

One woman in the film admits it's "sad" but she always changes out of a skirt even to go round the corner. Others avoid public transport.

Peeters talks to a crowd of local young men of north African origin about how to stop the insults. They suggest she says she is married. Peeters said: "I was told, 'Come out with a man, your boyfriend and we'll leave you alone.' But that's ridiculous. Women have the right to walk where they want."

She told the paper La Capitale that most harassment was by men with Maghreb roots but the film was more about the social status of the neighbourhood than ethnicity.

In France, where a new sexual harassment law has just been voted in amid soul-searching over sexism after the Dominique Strauss-Kahn legal cases, the Belgian film has hit a raw nerve. It comes just after Cecile Duflot, the housing minister, wore a long-sleeved, modest floral dress in parliament and was whistled and jeered at by male rightwing MPs.

"If she wore that dress it was to be looked at and not to be listened to," said the UMP's Patrick Balkany, a close friend of Nicolas Sarkozy.

Peeters' film also triggered a Twitter offensive in France after one male tweeter said he had never seen anyone complain of similar street harassment so the Brussels story must be an isolated case. Under the hastag #harcelementderue (street harassment) testimony flooded Twitter by women proving him wrong, followed by #harcelementdemetro about harassment on the underground.

The French feminist group Osez Le Feminisme, which praised the film for triggering debate on the issue, linked to its comic film-clip on role-reversal of women jeering men in the street.

French feminists said the film showed how street harassment was a universal issue for women.

In May, a poll found four in 10 young women had been sexually harassed in London over the past year.

[Tajin]

"women have the right to walk where they want"






Inside the kitchen.

[Churchill]

I should make sure to get a police officer to charge women who grab my ass or drag their hands across my chest with sexual harassment.

[Salodin]

What's with all this beta bullshit? If she dressed up and went out for the night shed be dying for the same attention (sans the almost groping which crosses the line). Why is this such a problem, some people in the world are assholes, you either ignore them or make a witty come back to shut them up, and move on. You'll never stop people from saying silly or stupid things, so why not just prepare yourself mentally and fight back. I blame the parents for not helping their children be prepared for the real world.

Fucking first world problems, if we were still nomadic monkeys these women would be on the front lines of passing their genes to the next generation.

[Ashmada]

You might not stop them, but you can fine them. Exhibiting this kind of behaviour in the streets can now cost you in Brussels if there's a policeman nearby. Not often enforced because it's not practical at all to monitor people's language in the streets, but there's always a chance you'll get a ticket for it.

[Cadsuane]

I try not to make people feel uncomfortable. But speaking of which, hanging around girls who are sensitive to sexually charged social situations and prone to being victimized makes me uncomfortable as fuck, so I avoid those girls and the complex socio-moral questions they drag around with them.

[Apelila]

This thread has taught me I need to hit on straight me more because there is no greater way to fuck with them. Thank you.

[Churchill]

Pretty sure you'd get your ass beat for that in a lot of places.

[Ddz]

Happens to me all the time. If they're just whistling or whatever, I don't really mind. It's just a compliment. If they crossed the line like the first story where I had to physically push my way through dudes or they were trying to grind on me, I'd just tell them to fuck off away from me. And the staring dude - what the fuck? I would have said something. When I was younger I worked at the mall, and one day wore some cute skirt or something to work. On my way to my car after work, some dude was being fucking annoying trying to get my attention. I ignored him and then he called me a bitch for "looking like that and not talking to him". I looked at him and rolled my eyes. What a tool.

[Milkster]

Catch 22 because hate crime. I kind of find it funny that it's mostly men brushing this off as people need to toughen up and saying girls want this kind of attention when they go out. Basically saying "you were asking for whatever happened to you."

[Apelila]

Pretty sure you'd get your ass beat for that in a lot of places.

<joke about liking his ass beaten here>

[Cadsuane]

Catch 22 because hate crime. I kind of find it funny that it's mostly men brushing this off as people need to toughen up and saying girls want this kind of attention when they go out. Basically saying "you were asking for whatever happened to you."

I find it kind of funny how much of a one trick pony of a shitty poster you are

[Dimmauk]

Just because I find wearing daisy dukes comfortable enough to wash my car in, doesn't mean gays are allowed to flame on at me.

[AoE]

Would be a good time to link that article about NY being ok with guys jizzing on women in crowded places. Can't link it myself because I'm on Tapdance Talk

[Churchill]

I find it kind of funny how much of a one trick pony of a shitty poster you are

lul

[Apelila]

What am I missing with the ripping on Milks? A joke from spam?

[Eurell]

I must have missed it. Are a bunch of people saying women are asking for it and its their fault?

[tyven]

did this start in poopdeck or get moved here? is is hard for me to not lock it but milks is my bruv so it shall live on.