Leave of Absence/Work Hiatus

[Nirokun!]

Zigma dear, the hardship thing is SO twisting their arm! I'm curious about using the explanation "personal reasons", because it will show up on my work history in my resume. Do I explain it now as "personal reasons" and then "I had surgery at that time" when I'm interviewed?

Are you travelling alone to Thailand? ;_; -- no one is going to accompany you? Very brave. Especially since you're going there to get an operation done to you which will leave you a bit weak initially.

Looks like it. Initially, I had no expectations of there being anyone with me, but then my parents were talking about having my father come with me for a week or so. He told me that he wouldn't be coming because he didnt want to leave my mom alone at home (my little brother passed away in April, and she is still having a hard time.) I'm not that afraid, the admin lady for the surgeon says that the majority of patients travel alone, and basically I would never be alone because everyone would be beating down my door... I'm more afraid of coming off of hormones prior to surgery and being overwhelmed. I've never ever missed a dose, and it has, since the very first day, alleviated my depression and made me really calm. I mean, I don't even know what to expect other than it taking away what it has given me, and I don't know if I can handle how things were before. Daily thoughts of suicide would wear me down really fast.

[myreality]

Wouldn't want that.

Take Ksandra or Naggi im sure they would like to see Thailand.

[Ksandra]

I would! But baby would tie me down

Sorry to hear about your bro. As to the depression thing, you don't have to get into specifics, but I'd imagine it stems from having to live as a man instead of a woman. If you feel depressed off the hormones just keep reminding yourself that you got yourself exactly what you wanted. You will now have a full-fledged woman's mind and body (which I'm very jealous of btw). That's pretty fucking awesome, and lack of the hormone pills can't take your vag away from you.

[Xno Kappa]

You're literally getting your dick chopped off, that shit cray!

[Roranora]

this is the most just medical leave of absence I can imagine

godspeed

[AoE]

I'm just waiting to hear about the end result.

[Ratatapa]

wait Nirokun is a dude?

[Pirian]

wait Nirokun is a dude?

Naa

[Ratatapa]

or she wants to be a dude? i'm all lost

[hey]

wait Nirokun is a dude?

No. She is a woman who happens to currently have a penis.

[Rhyis.]

3 months is a long time for something family related. I'd be surprised if you got away with it. Surgery for a medical condition with recovery time seems closest to home.

[Zigma]

Honestly, you're not twisting anyone's arm by saying it will bring personal hardship, trust me. It is understandable. Also, you do not have to say you took a personal leave of absence on your resume and if they ever ask you, you needed the time off to take care of a personal matter, that's it!

Zigma dear, the hardship thing is SO twisting their arm! I'm curious about using the explanation "personal reasons", because it will show up on my work history in my resume. Do I explain it now as "personal reasons" and then "I had surgery at that time" when I'm interviewed?

Looks like it. Initially, I had no expectations of there being anyone with me, but then my parents were talking about having my father come with me for a week or so. He told me that he wouldn't be coming because he didnt want to leave my mom alone at home (my little brother passed away in April, and she is still having a hard time.) I'm not that afraid, the admin lady for the surgeon says that the majority of patients travel alone, and basically I would never be alone because everyone would be beating down my door... I'm more afraid of coming off of hormones prior to surgery and being overwhelmed. I've never ever missed a dose, and it has, since the very first day, alleviated my depression and made me really calm. I mean, I don't even know what to expect other than it taking away what it has given me, and I don't know if I can handle how things were before. Daily thoughts of suicide would wear me down really fast.

[The Stig]

3 months doesn't seem all that unreasonable, although I'm unsure if you're allowed to take something what we call here as "unpaid leave" (I think that's what basically approved absence is). Basically, my mum got approved for 2.5 months of absense, unpaid, to go back to Hong Kong, for family reasons. As one of her relatives is getting married, and everyone is getting together for a period of time in such a long time, it was too important of an event to miss out. So she stated just that. The manager didn't bat an eyelid and just approved it; the notice was also given maybe 8 months in advance.

I'm unsure if this can be translated to the same in the US, but however I'm also aware you're working for a tiny/private company where rules might be different.

In the resume, I think, providing you do get back into the same job after the operation, you can probably ignore that entirely. Otherwise, personal/family matters should suffice. I think I fully understand your desire to keep it the operation completely guarded and I can empathise, because I too would think it would be odd and awkward.

There are 2 types of possible reactions here (not on BG but at places meaningful to you, i.e. work)
1 - The people who would just shrug/accept and carry on like nothing happened (but may or may not have other things in the mind)
2 - This type might suddenly feel very betrayed/shaken by it all in general and further develop a phobia/hate towards you

When is the operation/travel again? If you give plenty of notice I think it would be more forgiving.

Otherwise in general I am happy you're telling us all this and I'm just very interested by it all.

[Nirokun!]

The operation is in the middle of February. I leave in less than 3 months.

[Manako]

The operation is in the middle of February. I leave in less than 3 months.

Wishing you goodluck! I also would agree with citing that you are taking leave due to medical condition/surgery. It sounds like your place of employment is small and if everyone likes you I can't forsee them not taking you back -- my office is similar and we have people doing similar things rather frequently. If you are awesome, I'm sure they want to keep it, and if they are dumb and don't I'm sure you'd find a new position in short order. I'm sure people will be nosing about trying to make sure you are ok/want to know your condition, so I suppose better prepare for that.

[Syntex]

I doubt you would go for this but I'm curious what your before and after pics look like. Those have always amazed me to see the change in a person over months/years with HRT and whatnot.

[Nirokun!]

I have pics in both RL pic threads, and I started HRT May 12, 2011 (I just had my 18months HRT the other day.) When I started HRT, I was taking monthly photos to document the changes for myself, but lost interest after 6 months. I didn't care, because I knew I looked different (better!), and didn't need to scrutinize pictures to try and see minute changes month to month to feel good about myself.

[Nirokun!]

December 2, 2012

To the Management of Happypants Nursing:

I will be having surgery for an ongoing medical condition in February 2013. For this reason, the month of January 2013 will be my last available month to work as a visiting nurse until I recuperate. I have every intention of returning to work with HN when I have regained my strength, and I project my absence to last anywhere from 3-6 months.

Thank you for your consideration,

Nirokun!, RN

---

So I went on Monday, talked to one of my bosses, and was approved for the absence. All she asked me was "Are you okay?" then told me what I had to do to get back to work when I'm ready (write and submit the above letter.) If I needed more time, or wanted to restart with fewer patients (yes, please), she said just to let them know. /joy

[AidenCarby]

Good luck

[mallister]

best of luck!