Advice for returning home from Deployment

[Ksandra]

welcome back! enjoy the sex!

[Xno Kappa]

1. Dump your girlfriend/fiance'. Unless you did the smart thing and sent her to her to live with her mom's while you were deployed, she's fucked around on you. If you find out she's done something and you approach her about this, I can pretty much guarantee you she's going to claim rape when in reality she had one too many drinks. Then CID has to investigate her stupid ass accusations.
2. Don't use alcohol to fall asleep.
3. Fuck the lavish welcome party, make sure your debts are paid off.
4. Chill in barracks room for the next six months playing xbox while you re-acclimate yourself to garrison. People who fuck up badly are usually the ones who just returned from deployment.

Other then that, welcome back.

[Misuicide]

How was your tour?

It wasn't bad shepardG. I was the security element for a Distro platoon, we covered our battle space in RC South. I am just glad I didn't have to stay on KAF, I would have went nuts. Our crews covered missions 1 week, and QRF for 1 week. We kept pretty busy these past 9 months.

Mallister I am in 1-64AR. 2nd Brigade.

[Misuicide]

Luckily enough, before I deployed I had all my debts and bills paid off. Truck Paid off, all that good stuff. I just saved money this entire deployment. I am pretty conservative with my money, so i'm not worried about throwing down the plastic. As for the drinking, and all that stupid shit, I am not a heavy drinker so I am not going to worry about that either.

[mallister]

lol, small world. glad to see you made it back in one piece ^^

[Aksannyi]

My advice:

You've been away for people that you cared about for a long time. You've changed from your experiences while you were gone, and they've changed from their experiences with you gone. People have adapted to that way of life. You coming back is going to throw a wrench into things. It is a fact of life, one that ultimately led to a lot of friction between me and family members when I returned. (I ended up moving away from there permanently due to said changes.)

Know this going in. It may be a bit awkward. It isn't going to be easy. There is going to be friction. And you may have to face that the changes that happened over the past nine months may mean that you're just not right for each other anymore.

Redeploying can be very difficult. A part of you will always be overseas. It's hard for civilians to understand that. Best advice: be patient. Take your time. While I kind of like the idea of the hotel room, I don't think it's a good idea. You need to ease back into things. Feel each other out. Spend some time with her, but make sure to take some time for you. Good luck.

[Rhinox]

Seriously though buy a pregnancy test.

[Abandon]

Enjoy your first few days. Tell them (everyone that's family, friends, etc) that you want a few days to just... do you. Sleep, eat your face off, catch up on shit on tv/internet. After that, gf gets first phone call. Don't you dare plan everything. You were the one off doing your job in not the friendliest of places; her time to step up and show her appreciation. Stay your ass out of trouble. Honestly, if you're going to drink, stay home and do it, or get a cab/DD. It is not worth seeing guys come home just to have to bust them down a paygrade or precess them out for DUI. Frankly, I'm tired of administratively separating my guys coming home from deployments. I see you've paid off debts; good on you. Welcome home.

[Abandon]

Seriously though buy a pregnancy test.

also, this. if i see another one of the soldiers/airmen/sailors/devildog raising a baby that isn't fruit of their loins, I'm gonna start stabbin bitches, shit is outrageous.

[Misuicide]

I will, thanks. I take things slow so i'm going to be safe and do the right thing with my girl.

[Pikarya]

1. Dump your girlfriend/fiance'. Unless you did the smart thing and sent her to her to live with her mom's while you were deployed, she's fucked around on you. If you find out she's done something and you approach her about this, I can pretty much guarantee you she's going to claim rape when in reality she had one too many drinks. Then CID has to investigate her stupid ass accusations.
2. Don't use alcohol to fall asleep.
3. Fuck the lavish welcome party, make sure your debts are paid off.
4. Chill in barracks room for the next six months playing xbox while you re-acclimate yourself to garrison. People who fuck up badly are usually the ones who just returned from deployment.

Other then that, welcome back.

Agreed 110% on all of this. Especially #1.

I've seen it happen to too many friends. Bitches & whores, its like they're a magnet for deployed men.

[noblemountain]

The lifestyle is tough on spouses for sure...and military guys attract a certain type of girl to begin with. My wife was fine the first 4 years we were together, my last deployment she cleaned out our joint account and moved back in with her mom while I was gone. I got home to my house being foreclosed and my car repossessed. Be sure you guys have a strong relationship if you are going to continue to try and make it work while going overseas. I saw too many of my men go through the same things to think that I was invulnerable, but I was still blindsided by it.

[archibaldcrane]

Jesus christ that's fucked up Noble.

[Bregor]

Damn noble, that's awful. She sounds like an Auburn fan.

[noblemountain]

Iowa State. Fucking Big 12.

[Nephlite]

1. Dump your girlfriend/fiance'. Unless you did the smart thing and sent her to her to live with her mom's while you were deployed, she's fucked around on you. If you find out she's done something and you approach her about this, I can pretty much guarantee you she's going to claim rape when in reality she had one too many drinks. Then CID has to investigate her stupid ass accusations.
2. Don't use alcohol to fall asleep.
3. Fuck the lavish welcome party, make sure your debts are paid off.

Luckily my wife stayed with her mom on my deployments so I wasn't too worried about her messing around. My first deployment, I was a bit worried because we were newlyweds and she was pregnant. But her mom took care of her and I don't have any family of my own so all of my updates of the real world came from her and her family. If you kept in contact with your other during the time you were in country, then look for the subtle clues she might've been fucking around on you like indirect contacts and mentioning of "other people" you didn't know before you left.

I stayed away from alcohol and drugs and didn't party much. I took it slow and visited friends and traveled a bit with the family. I went back to school and got a job fairly quickly with the D.C. police department so that kept me pretty busy and staved off a lot of the PTSD. It's when you're alone and not doing anything where a lot of the bad memories begin to dredge themselves up.

A few of my buddies that rotated back with me lived pretty far away, so I traveled there and stayed with them for a few weeks before I started the academy. That gave us all the opportunity to vent and talk about everything that happened. I wouldn't recommend talking about things with the family and friends who were never in the military; a lot of people won't understand the things you might have had to do to survive, and speaking with people who will know will give you that opportunity to get a lot of it off your chest. You'll cry, you'll hate life, you'll probably think about suicide during your talks but trust me: once you talk about it, you'll feel a whole hell of a lot better.

It's too late to recommend this now but before I went on deployment, I transferred the executive rights of my financial property to my father-in-law so that he could take care of my debts and finances while I was out. I did a fairly decent job of getting most of my finances in order before I shipped out by doing some debt consolidation and paying off my credit cards. The in-laws did a fantastic job of making sure everything was straight so when I got home, I didn't lapse on anything. I wouldn't recommend letting anyone you don't trust completely (even some family members) do this. That's why I had my father-in-law do it. He hated my guts for the first 5 years of my wife and I's relationship, but he was also a military guy and I respected him to the utmost. When I came at him to take care of my finances, he just said one thing "Just come home safe." Now we're good friends and occasionally we get completely hammered and talk about the war (another way to vent some PTSD).

[Bregor]

Iowa State. Fucking Big 12.

I blame Plow.

[noblemountain]

That is the only rational response.

[Viena]

Misu! I'm glad you're alright and I hope you get a warm welcome from your family and friends.

[Ervanii]

Welcome back, Misu. The best advice I can offer is to realize that you have been apart and you are no longer used to each others company. (Hell, I came home one time to find out my wife had decided to become a vegan!) Aside from that, a lot of couples tend to fight before and after deployments, particularly after that "honeymoon" phase wears off after a day or two. Just be aware of it and don't let things get to serious or complicated right out of the gate. Keep it relaxed and let everything settle in. And of course, above all else, have a good time, have some sexy times, and go grab a burger and a beer at Green Truck!