Captain Kirk VS Captain Malcolm Reynolds VS Captain Han Solo

**Delirium** · 2012-12-20 10:35

http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_mc...ab13o1_400.gif
http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_mc...ab13o2_400.gif

**Hatedregret** · 2012-12-20 13:41

That side by side is so silly and biased. You don't even see shields in Star Wars other than in the prequels. Not going by anything other than movies here for the record before you book people eat my face, but even in terms of the Tie Fighter vs a Shuttle Craft, it's silly. Then we can compare how terrible the aiming systems must be in star wars to have everyone miss so damn much lol. Must have been programmed by an Ewok.

**Rhyis.** · 2012-12-20 13:43

Yeah I don't even like ST, but that shit was made by a SW fanboy. They didn't even hide it.

**Brill Weave** · 2012-12-20 13:48

For real. To say that a tiny little ship like the Slave One has more firepower than the Enterprise is just herpaderpy

**ronin sparthos** · 2012-12-20 13:55

All that and no mention of Treks obsession with time travel? Go back in time, kill Young Han, pick up some humpbacks and be home in time for corn flakes.

Oh and the Galactic Empire? Same shit. Go back in time and put a phase through Palpatine. Just shoot Anakin for good measure, guy was way to whiny for his own good. Make sure you have the high ground though.

**Rhyis.** · 2012-12-20 13:57

Little did you know doing this would play right into the Ewoks hands. Ewoks become the new supreme leaders of the universe.

**ronin sparthos** · 2012-12-20 14:11

I'll take that over Gungans.

**Hatedregret** · 2012-12-20 14:19

It's all about the Tribbles anyway

**Ashmada** · 2012-12-20 16:50

Well, good thing Quark's there. Now we have someone to sell the losers' corpses!

I'd run into Churchill's linked site before, it's really quite silly. If anything, the fact that Trek figures are relatively reasonable and Wars figures measure in bajillion kajillon megagigaomgs paints the former in a much better light: that of a show not written by a 6yo having an argument with another 6yo.

Now, one can argue about those captains' abilities in the art of war; but what about the much more important art of love(making)?

- Captain Malcolm Reynolds:
http://www.nndb.com/people/056/00020...-hendricks.jpg

Not bad, he scores 1 extremely hot redhead.

- Captain Han Solo:
http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedi..._hairstyle.jpg

No comment.

- Captain Jean-Luc Picard (using Kirk or Riker would just be unfair):
http://s3.amazonaws.com/quotefully_p...3b10052d_small
http://www.beertripper.com/startrek_...rick_Chair.jpg
http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-73A2IzoVsH..._Sitting_S.jpg
http://www.dippold.org/startrek/seri...ics/6_19_2.jpg
http://justgates.tripod.com/images/beverlycrusher.jpg
http://images2.wikia.nocookie.net/__.../4/43/Anij.jpg

Winrar? Winrar.

**-Zer0-** · 2012-12-20 16:51

This is silly, everyone knows the duel of the millenia is between Dwight Schrute and Ron Swanson.

**Qalbert** · 2012-12-20 17:14

that's no duel at all, Ron wins hands down

**Rhyis.** · 2012-12-20 17:17

**Bregor** · 2012-12-20 17:49

I like how the side-by-side graphic throws you off by saying the lightsaber, obviously the best personal weapon ever, loses to a phaser. Then the rest is just straight up Star Wars homerism, Slave I over Enterprise-D is just pathetic.

**Marootsoobutsu** · 2012-12-20 18:19

Originally Posted by Abandon

what the fuck is this.

Han Solo is one of the weakest characters in the StarWars franchise. He's a worse shot than Leia, he's a worse pilot than Luke, Lando, Chewie, R2D2, Vader, Biggs and Wedge. He's had a few good moments in escaping from trouble, but he never really did squat in terms of offense in a fight. Maybe he's a badass in the books; I don't know. But from the movies, if Indiana Jones weren't around, Solo would still be glorified comic relief. He's a damsel in distress and doesn't belong in conversations of manliness, contests with real captains, or as any measurement of "awesome" except as "baseline normal; if you are here, you are not a real hero." He's a whiny gimp carried by his girlfriend, orphans, growling teddy bears, and hilariously cowardly robots. C3P0 is the only character I can think of that I wouldn't flat out take if my life depended on it over Solo, and even there it'd be situational.

**Odin'sLaw** · 2012-12-20 18:22

all this talk of manly men and you don't even invite Captain Crunch!

**Kainos** · 2012-12-20 21:35

Originally Posted by Marootsoobutsu

Han Solo is one of the weakest characters in the StarWars franchise. He's a worse shot than Leia, he's a worse pilot than Luke, Lando, Chewie, R2D2, Vader, Biggs and Wedge. He's had a few good moments in escaping from trouble, but he never really did squat in terms of offense in a fight. Maybe he's a badass in the books; I don't know. But from the movies, if Indiana Jones weren't around, Solo would still be glorified comic relief. He's a damsel in distress and doesn't belong in conversations of manliness, contests with real captains, or as any measurement of "awesome" except as "baseline normal; if you are here, you are not a real hero." He's a whiny gimp carried by his girlfriend, orphans, growling teddy bears, and hilariously cowardly robots. C3P0 is the only character I can think of that I wouldn't flat out take if my life depended on it over Solo, and even there it'd be situational.

Well damn lmao

**BaneTheBrawler** · 2012-12-20 23:47

Originally Posted by Marootsoobutsu

Han Solo is one of the weakest characters in the StarWars franchise. He's a worse shot than Leia, he's a worse pilot than Luke, Lando, Chewie, R2D2, Vader, Biggs and Wedge. He's had a few good moments in escaping from trouble, but he never really did squat in terms of offense in a fight. Maybe he's a badass in the books; I don't know. But from the movies, if Indiana Jones weren't around, Solo would still be glorified comic relief. He's a damsel in distress and doesn't belong in conversations of manliness, contests with real captains, or as any measurement of "awesome" except as "baseline normal; if you are here, you are not a real hero." He's a whiny gimp carried by his girlfriend, orphans, growling teddy bears, and hilariously cowardly robots. C3P0 is the only character I can think of that I wouldn't flat out take if my life depended on it over Solo, and even there it'd be situational.

He's way more awesome in the books... and he's actually on-par with everyone you mentioned for piloting and pistol skills, with the exception of the Jedi... but, yknow, Jedi. He's a smuggler, not a fighter.

Having said that, I realize I think Mal would win. Han has good survival instincts, but so does Mal, and Mal is better in a straight up fight. Han could out-pilot him, though (And the Serenity isn't even armed), so as someone said, the venue changes the outcome.

Also, the firepower etc stats on that graphic are from their respective wikis, and the Star Wars universe operates on a much higher scale. Everything is over-powered compared to Star Trek, because the Star Trek universe attempts to remain tied to reality; Star Wars made no such attempt. Most of the things you see in Star Trek are based loosely on real science.

**Sunrider** · 2012-12-21 07:45

Originally Posted by Odin'sLaw

all this talk of manly men and you don't even invite Captain Crunch!

Or Popeye.

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