Friend in trouble - advice appreciated

[Ksandra]

why does the swedish currency symbol look like balls n' a dick?

[Alvinho]

Women aren't interested in men who think they're the prize unless they're looking to settle down and get married. It doesn't make them hot and it doesn't make them desire you.

As far as the first theory of yours, again (and to Lucienne) I am not asking for a serious analysis of these womens intentions. I know what motivates them. I never re-engage someone from my past unless it was a situation that was never really resolved. (Meet a chick, deployment, forget about her, get a call from her when I'm back home)

Here are some things that your surface analysis of life from a fem-centric viewpoint fails to recognize:

Making women understand you won't judge them (by directing conversations into specific topics) is an easy way to get first night sex. You can't say "Be honest, I won't judge." No. You take the topic of conversation to something that will be uncomfortable for her, you make a joke and you make it comfortable. The whole thing about women trying to be private about their sex lives has to do with most of the men they ever encounter being pussies who are insecure with themselves and it scares them away. (The men) That's not to say a high number is good - women can only pair bond so many times before that shit gets set to numb.

Women's sexual freedom is just the natural conclusion of unrestrained hypergamy. The problem with this is you get women in their 30's who fucked around too long because they've been lied to about how the game is supposed to play out for them. It's really not fair to tell women that they can get an education, career, hit their sexual stride in their mid-30's (lol), retain their good looks and then find the perfect man of their dreams. Half of this is bullshit, the other half completely conflicts with the first half.

Here is the actual explanation for why I get phone calls. I get phone calls when they are ovulating. If you want to find out why, I've posted links for this effect further back in the thread.

Don't get me wrong, I agree with most of what you said so far, and realize why some posters here don't, or at least don't see the truth in it, but I think the first half of my post would have sounded better if I had used "trophy" instead of "prize".

The judgemental bit, is not so much about the partners. I believe that if a woman decides to go to bed with a man at any point, no matter if it's on the first date or a month later), she's not concerned he'll judge her. Her concern is with the people around (friends, family) who don't know about how well she "bonded" with him or whatever, who WILL judge her.

So unless she's mature/secure enough to not care, or realizes how futile those outside opinions are, odds are there will be some worrying on her part, which would lead to some convincing on his part (if he wants sex), though women seeking men has become much more common than most people would want to believe.

[Lucienne]

why does the swedish currency symbol look like balls n' a dick?

lol
I never thought of it that way.

:-
You write it if there are no decimals.
It can look like this too:
199,-
199.99

You can also write SEK instead, meaning svenska kronor.

[Ksandra]

SEK

To try and to keep things ontopic, I've said this in other threads, but I'll suggest it here, too. If ya guys and girls want a look into the opposite sex's thought process, Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus is a great read. I always thought it must be some bs shit that was just popular to be popular. But when I actually read it I spent a lot of time thinking, "well that's why he fucking does that," and, "holy crap I totally do this."

Of course, it won't apply to everyone, but it'd definitely give you a better idea on how to handle certain situations (mostly disagreements/fights). I highly recommended it for anyone who's looking for a long-term deal.

[Churchill]

I would absolutely not recommend that book lol

To clarify, it's written from a poor perspective. There are some things (correct) about how men and women communicate. I would not take a lot of what that book espouses to heart.

[Ksandra]

I would absolutely not recommend that book lol

To clarify, it's written from a poor perspective. There are some things (correct) about how men and women communicate. I would not take a lot of what that book espouses to heart.

idk, I've found it to work out for a lot of people. It makes a lot of sense in regards to certain things (especially the whole, "why women bring up things that happened months ago, and men think that was dealt with" stuff).

[edit] also holy shit do so many many need to learn when to just shut up and hug. If at least a guy gets that right out of that book than it's more than worth it.

[Churchill]

I would further clarify with that book takes a lot of things that men and women should know (and a lot of women do understand the game, but it's not a matter of knowing they are or aren't, but rather that you are or aren't) and tries to make them into revelations. On top of that, it's written from a man who has 3 divorces, one of which was married to another relationship guru with 5 divorces. He's a man fully embodying an imperative not natural to his sex, and it seethes through every perspective and view he presents.

His book is basically trying to help men who are bitches and women in charge of their relationships cope with the disparity of their natural order.

Gray makes the case that men flee to their caves and that it's a trait inherent to male nature. This makes accepting that "escape" for the partner more palatable, but in these situations it's not a want for peace of mind but for an escape (from what their life has devolved to - constant fear and unhappiness from their wife). You'll have whole neighborhoods of men like this in suburbia, turning their garages or a shed into a lawn chair and beer TV viewing spot. Alone time is great, but you should never build a fortress to protect yourself. If you've ever said the words "My wife/gf let me build a ____" then your shit is not a symbol of pride but a symbol of surrender. You should question why you work all week to support a family and live like a bachelor on the weekend.

[Churchill]

idk, I've found it to work out for a lot of people. It makes a lot of sense in regards to certain things (especially the whole, "why women bring up things that happened months ago, and men think that was dealt with" stuff).

[edit] also holy shit do so many many need to learn when to just shut up and hug. If at least a guy gets that right out of that book than it's more than worth it.

Those types of arguments are easily avoided by making it clear to her that those types of arguments are not going to be argued.

[Ksandra]

Those types of arguments are easily avoided by making it clear to her that those types of arguments are not going to be argued.

which is kinda what he suggests, but he says do that just by not feeding into it but still listening to her complaint. Demanding is an easy way to make things escalate rather quickly.

[Churchill]

Best way is by ignoring, withholding sex/attention until the behavior changes (Go do other stuff, play vidya, go to a ballgame, hang out with bros), then slowly reward the good behavior. Never rewarding the bad behavior is a solid way to make it stop.

[Ksandra]

lol poidh. Seriously, withholding sex doesn't quite do the same thing to a woman as it does a man.

[Churchill]

It does when that woman actually desires you.

[Ksandra]

lolno. Don't underestimate a woman's stubbornness when it comes to trying to win an argument. I guarantee that if you both have equal amounts of desire for each other the man would break before the woman did.

[Churchill]

You're dealing with weak men then.

[Ksandra]

I would say that's fairly common in that regards.

[Churchill]

Because feminism has taught them to be.

[Blubbartron]

People that withhold sex or attention as "punishment" are dicks, regardless of gender. If you don't like someone's behavior, don't have a fucking relationship with them. Trying to modify their behavior through psychological abuse isn't cool at all. What in the fucking fuck.

[Artemas]

lol poidh. Seriously, withholding sex doesn't quite do the same thing to a woman as it does a man.

You might be doing sex wrong if the absence of it isn't something you miss sharply.

[Churchill]

I do want to know how you deal with the irrational, self-interested person in your life (your daughter) when she behaves badly. Ignore that she is a girl, she could be a young boy for this to work too.

[Churchill]

People that withhold sex or attention as "punishment" are dicks, regardless of gender. If you don't like someone's behavior, don't have a fucking relationship with them. Trying to modify their behavior through psychological abuse isn't cool at all. What in the fucking fuck.

But why does it work with everyone!