Friend in trouble - advice appreciated

[Acevalefor]

Another, actually very important thing, is, it doesn't matter how the wall gets fixed. I used to argue about lot of things that don't really matter when I was younger, whether the forks in the drawer should be on the left or on the right, if you're supposed to pour the left over soup into a smaller saucer before putting it in the fridge or not, those are real examples btw. It's dumb. You should ask yourself what's important. It's also a question of trust. If a man tells me he can fix a wall, I will trust him to fix it. God help him if he doesn't though.

I can fix the wall and make it look like nothing happened. I am a master of drywall repair. I can also frame in a whole new wall for you complete with that new electrical outlet that you always wanted because the vacuum cord was just a little too short for the other outlet.

More seriously, the "how" is very irrelevant to the solution. But people are petty and really like to feel like they are so right that nobody can tell them differently.

[Rhyis.]

Why aren't these bitches fixing their own damn walls.

[Ksandra]

Another, actually very important thing, is, it doesn't matter how the wall gets fixed. I used to argue about lot of things that don't really matter when I was younger, whether the forks in the drawer should be on the left or on the right, if you're supposed to pour the left over soup into a smaller saucer before putting it in the fridge or not, those are real examples btw. It's dumb. You should ask yourself what's important. It's also a question of trust. If a man tells me he can fix a wall, I will trust him to fix it. God help him if he doesn't though.

I actually agree with this, and is not what I've been debating about.

[MF Perm tha Fineass]

I can fix the wall and make it look like nothing happened. I am a master of drywall repair. I can also frame in a whole new wall for you complete with that new electrical outlet that you always wanted because the vacuum cord was just a little too short for the other outlet.

[Acevalefor]

Why aren't these bitches fixing their own damn walls.

Because they don't get paid the same amount as the men do if you hired them to fix it.

[Lucienne]

Luci is coming full circle, you're welcome BG.

Nah, I'm very liberal. I give everyone the benefit of a doubt, even the man.
Also, I expect him to let me fix the roof if I say I can.

Who cares if she didn't get her will the fucking wall is fixed.

Who knows, but lot of women do.

[Abandon]

fucking lol

[Acevalefor]

fucking lol

I laughed then cringed then blocked the image.

[Ksandra]

my part about him fix or hire someone to fix was a bad example btw, more like you both have your favorite person you want to hire and can't decide which. end of the argument you make up but no one was hired so the hole is still there.

[Churchill]

Wrong, the guy just hires whoever he wants and then you don't have a hole in the wall.

[MF Perm tha Fineass]

I think if a girl is pissed off that there is a glory hole in the house and the guy should fix it there is a much bigger problem than the hole

[Abandon]

so it's not acceptable to have random holes from voids in the walls into the bathroom?

[Manako]

I can totally agree that women and men are driven by different things, but just because I like scotch and video games doesn't make me manlier than the next girl. I am fully capable of dry-walling my own walls, but would gladly accept advice from my more-experienced drywalling friends regardless of their gender. I do agree that realizing how my husband performs a task doesn't matter has made my life much easier. Often I will leave him to a task and leave the room, so he doesn't have to worry about me watching him be frustrated. I as a person am more willing to ask for help when I need it, he is not (is this gender at work? don't really care) So I think there does have to be some balance.

For example we were making a turducken for christmas I was in charge of deboning the birds, he was in charge of poaching them. Part of the poaching step is to take the poached chicken, put it in the duck that has sausage in it, and then wrap it in plastic wrap before poaching again. He has not leveled his plastic-wrapping skill and was fumbling with it, getting flustered about to drop the duck in with a loose wrap -- I tell him that its ok.. and to let me try. I fix the bird and we successfully drop it in the water, everything was smooth sailing after that point. In the past we have gotten rather frustrated in the kitchen because it can be overwhelming to cook a big meal -- but this time it was awesome but we could see very clearly where it could have become a stupid argument.

[Abandon]

can i stuff your turducken

[isladar]

This bad analogy derail is over. If you don't have something to add that directly pertains to the OP's situation, don't post.

[Lucienne]

Almost two years have passed since I started this thread and things have gotten worse. My friend has been walking into doors and falling down the stairs for about a year now, which I found out from her sister two days ago. She didn't tell either of us about the beatings, instead a gossiping acquaintance couldn't keep the secret. Her sister has already reported the abuse and contacted a help line for abused women, she's trying to get my friend to seek help as well. I'm having lunch with her tomorrow, she knows I know and I've talked to the hot line for advice too, but I don't feel like I got much else than numbers to other help lines or centers for abused women. I know I should not blame her, ask why, try to get her to leave him. I've told her that I feel like we've drifted apart the same way me and my mother did, and that I don't want this to ruin our friendship. I've also told her that I want her to feel like she can call me in the middle of the night and ask me to come over, or come to my place. I'm considering giving her a key to my place, but I'm not sure if this is wise. I don't know how far it's gone and I if I'd be taking a risk of the man walking into my place, stealing my valuables or what not.

If you have anything constructive to bring, please do so.

[Brill Weave]

Nothing that hasn't already been said Luci. If she doesn't want to help herself there's not a lot that can be done. Do your best to show her you're there if she needs you. Sadly I don't see this ending well

[Lucienne]

Nothing that hasn't already been said Luci. If she doesn't want to help herself there's not a lot that can be done. Do your best to show her you're there if she needs you. Sadly I don't see this ending well

I don't either. I actually asked for a number for myself, I've been crying randomly since Saturday, we've been friends for almost 20 years, she's like a sister to me. I guess I was hoping she'd be strong enough to realize it's bad if he hit her and leave.

[Gokku]

why wasnt this solved 2 years ago with a steel bat and this dudes knees?

[Meresgi]

^

Does this friend not have any brothers or guy friends? I know if I had a sister or friend in this situation the guy would be crawling by now.