Friend in trouble - advice appreciated

[Lucienne]

^

Does this friend not have any brothers or guy friends? I know if I had a sister or friend in this situation the guy would be crawling by now.

Only a sister, no parents, I don't think she told her male friends. Honestly, the urge to smash his fucking head with a very heavy metal stick is strong with me.

[Sepukku]

Seriously ^ last two posts

If I was aware of my sister or friends being treated this way, I wouldn't even give the guy a warning, he'd have a shattered leg, crawling on his sidewalk, before he even realized I had been waiting for him to leave

[Ratatapa]

Seriously ^ last two posts

If I was aware of my sister or friends being treated this way, I wouldn't even give the guy a warning, he'd have a shattered leg, crawling on his sidewalk, before he even realized I had been waiting for him to leave

Tbh if the guy is beating her

giving him a 'warning' is the worse thing people can do imo

[Lucienne]

Seriously ^ last two posts

If I was aware of my sister or friends being treated this way, I wouldn't even give the guy a warning, he'd have a shattered leg, crawling on his sidewalk, before he even realized I had been waiting for him to leave

Her sister told him that if he touches her again she'll go and beat up his kids.

[AidenCarby]

Black leather gloves, black mask, clap the dude and have this thread deleted. Problem solved

edit:

Not serious obv but the bat sounds good, that or run him over.

[Brill Weave]

Black leather gloves, black mask, clap the dude and have this thread deleted. Problem solved

edit:

Not serious obv but the bat sounds good, that or run him over.

So basically send Abandon at night.

[AidenCarby]

Shots fired.

[Meresgi]

Tbh if the guy is beating her

giving him a 'warning' is the worse thing people can do imo

Well nothing seems to be changing, and the woman in question seems not not want to leave and is happy just being beat. At that point it's time to move onto the the guy and rough him up. Not talking about a stern warning, or something that won't do jack shit. I would probably be breaking one or both of his hands.

[Lucienne]

So basically send Abandon at night.

rofl!
I love you guys.

[Sepukku]

Tbh if the guy is beating her

giving him a 'warning' is the worse thing people can do imo

Thank you Captain le Obvious, it was in the context of 'I wouldn't let him see me coming' or 'I wouldn't stand face to face with him and say what hes did, then hit him - I would hit him from the blind side and then while hes crawling on the ground I would have a discussion about why hes an awful human being who needs to give up having working limbs for a few months' - the context was NOT sending him a letter in the mail giving him a 10 day warning that at the end of month I would like to fight him.

[Quixon]

Tbh if the guy is beating her

giving him a 'warning' is the worse thing people can do imo

Big difference between a "warning" and him getting the shit beat of him. As someone who has had to deal with this type of shit twice now, it usually gets the point across. One time I won't elaborate on was a domestic violence situation. The female ended up going to the police after our incident and finally got her shit taken care of. The other situation was a bit different. Drunk dude basically tried to rape my drunk friend in the bathroom of a club.

She got away and came to where me, my wife, and her other friend were bullshitting. I saw her ripped shirt and the dude almost like stalking her from like 25' away. I told her to go outside and when the dude followed her out I was behind him and beat his ass on the sidewalk. Cop showed up let me drive her home when he saw my friends clothes and heard her story. Dude got handcuffed before he could even get up off the sidewalk.

Someone who takes advantage of a woman in either situation is no more than a bully at heart. As soon as someone more imposing, more confident, physically larger, etc stand up to them, it usually gets the point across. It does really depend on the situation and the person though I suppose.

[Brill Weave]

No joking when I post this. And yes I'm aware how ridiculous it sounds. Luci invite your friend over to your house and have a sit down with. Ask her if she's your friend and does she love you like a sister etc. Highlight how much she cares about you. Then punch her in the face and ask her how she feels about it. When she gets angry or upset ask her why it's alright for her bf to hit her but it's not alright for you to do the same. She needs reminded that this isn't normal behavior. Perhaps it's time for a seriously radical approach since reasoning doesn't seem to be working.

[Aksannyi]

I appreciate all the "beat his ass" sentiment in this thread but realistically that isn't going to help the situation.

Abusers would call the cops and play the victim. I've seen it hundreds of times when I used to work in dispatch. I've seen the cops come, see that both of them were the aggressors, and do nothing. I've seen women get arrested for barely touching their partner, when they have marks all over their body. These women are afraid to even speak out against their abuser, so they end up in jail for domestic abuse when it should be the other way around. I've seen someone (like a neighbor) call the cops, the cops roll out and see what's going on and the woman refuses to press charges - and because no one saw anything physically happen, they don't have to make an arrest. And if they do, it's not long before they make bond and start beating with renewed vigor. And if someone outside the relationship beats his ass, once he's recovered, who is he going to take it out on? Luci's friend, that's who, and she's not going to call the cops or press charges because he's probably got her convinced that it's her fault and if she just "tries a little harder" she will please him. It's terrible.

Abusers are cocky. They believe they're right. That their victim is at fault, and that they bring it upon themselves. Kicking his ass is only going to make the situation between them more dangerous.

You can call the cops on him and maybe he'll get his name in the system a few times but unless he seriously injures her to the point where she's in a hospital, someone actually sees him strike her, or unless she decides to stand up and fight for herself by actually leaving and then pressing charges, there is very little that can actually be done.

[Lucienne]

I think as long as she's staying, there is no use of actually confronting him, since I fear it would only anger him and make her situation worse. I think she even understands that what's going on is wrong, but makes excuses for him. As far as I know he hasn't seriously injured any of his previous partners at least.

[Ratatapa]

Big difference between a "warning" and him getting the shit beat of him. As someone who has had to deal with this type of shit twice now, it usually gets the point across. One time I won't elaborate on was a domestic violence situation. The female ended up going to the police after our incident and finally got her shit taken care of. The other situation was a bit different. Drunk dude basically tried to rape my drunk friend in the bathroom of a club.

She got away and came to where me, my wife, and her other friend were bullshitting. I saw her ripped shirt and the dude almost like stalking her from like 25' away. I told her to go outside and when the dude followed her out I was behind him and beat his ass on the sidewalk. Cop showed up let me drive her home when he saw my friends clothes and heard her story. Dude got handcuffed before he could even get up off the sidewalk.

Someone who takes advantage of a woman in either situation is no more than a bully at heart. As soon as someone more imposing, more confident, physically larger, etc stand up to them, it usually gets the point across. It does really depend on the situation and the person though I suppose.

What I mean is depending on the guy's degree of agressivity if someone goes and say I dunno, 'Stop beating her or you're next" Most of the time the guy will just go harder on her.

I think as long as she's staying, there is no use of actually confronting him, since I fear it would only anger him and make her situation worse. I think she even understands that what's going on is wrong, but makes excuses for him. As far as I know he hasn't seriously injured any of his previous partners at least.

Sometimes you have to take decision for others, If you care for her, call the police yourself

[Brill Weave]

Sometimes you have to take decision for others, If you care for her, call the police yourself

It's not going to work dude. Unless they catch dude in the act AND she's willing to press charges, it's just going to make a bad situation worse.

[Lucienne]

Sometimes you have to take decision for others, If you care for her, call the police yourself

Her sister reported him, but as long as she's not willing to go through with the charges there is nothing we can do. It's fucked up.

[Ratatapa]

It's not going to work dude. Unless they catch dude in the act AND she's willing to press charges, it's just going to make a bad situation worse.

ummmm guess our system is really different.

In quebec if there is enough people complaning about Domestic violence we can ask the police to go investigate and If there is enough proof the guy will get judge with or without the victim asking for charges (to try to prevent stuff like that)


Kinda sucks then

[Penthesilea]

don't we live in an age of nanny cams and fucking cell phones? Have her set up some covert cameras and fucking film this scumbag. There's your evidence of abuse.

This was more in response to police not having anything other than "he said,she said" in regards to violence

[Quixon]

ummmm guess our system is really different.

In quebec if there is enough people complaning about Domestic violence we can ask the police to go investigate and If there is enough proof the guy will get judge with or without the victim asking for charges (to try to prevent stuff like that)


Kinda sucks then

Well our system works that way also. However this is how the situation goes normally:

-Police receive Domestic violence complaint.
-Police show up at residence.
-Woman refuses to press charges
-Cops leave

If by chance the cops notice bruises they will ask the woman how she got them. She'll say she fell down the stairs or bumped into a wall. Again, cops leave because legally they can't do anything. The woman needs to help herself in this regard and press charges. Until she does that the police cannot do anything unless they actually witness the domestic violence. You could also imagine what could happen to the victim if the police show up, question him about the abuse.... then leave without any other incident. That girl could, and probably will get the shit beat out of her again.

Without getting into too many specifics, in the situation I had... I ended up beating the guy up pretty badly in her house, in front of her. Her sister had called the cops, they showed up.... and left exactly as I mentioned before. I got a call from her sister 1/2 hour after the cops came, I showed up... and it escalated from there. The neighbor heard resulting scuffle, called the police, and they showed up again. So my friend either had to press charges on the B/F for the domestic violence, or I would of ended up arrested on an assault charge.

That situation was not pretty at all. And is still going through Civil Court, he's suing me for monetary damages resulting from the incident (doctor bills, loss of wages, damage to vehicle, etc.) so I can't really give any more details.