"Health is a cultural construction, not a “fact” that can be defined in terms of science"

[Elcura]

Bottom line is if you do nothing to help yourself that's on you. You can whine and cry all you want about being depressed. But it solves nothing. Everyone is depressed in one way or another. That doesn't mean people just give up, eat until they're 700 pounds and have to have the seats in their Chevy Celebrity specially made because of their fat feel bad for me because I'm so depressed bodies. I have nothing but pity for the mother fuckers that dont even try. Call it harsh but if I can fucking do it when I felt the same way, taking anti depressants because I felt awful, why can't you? Because you lack willpower.

http://hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.co...-part-two.html

Sometimes shit sucks.

[Xajii]

Do you take your meds everyday? Do you go to any form of counseling at all? If so then why exactly aren't you mentally capable of taking steps to improve yourself? You're already doing it. Can you remember back to when you were thin? Were you depressed then? I doubt it. Look dude make all the excuses you want. But you're responsible for how you look. I've been where you're at. You're not a unique snowflake. Millions upon millions of people have gone through this and succeeded. But you have to actually try.

You have no idea what you're talking about.

[Brill Weave]

You have no idea what you're talking about.

Point is if people continue to do nothing it's not going to improve. Fuck go do cognitive behavioral therapy. Shit works wonders.

[TacoTaru]

I'm just going to stop my end of the dialog on this. It's clear you either don't understand depression isn't some blanket experience for everyone or you being purposefully obtuse for the sake of your argument. I'm very well aware that my body is the way it is because the choices I make, and the fact that I was never raised to eat healthy isn't an excuse. I'm also aware that my currently lack of support from anyone around me also isn't an excuse, and in this case I'm with you, I need to man up and get over that. But if you can't understand why those things are challenging to someone who is into deep depression, then our conversations have hit an impasse, because l I unfortunately am not the person to help explain it to you. I've been taking meds every day for six months to no avail, and what has worked caused daily migraines. I'm doing exactly what my doctor is telling me to do and it took me six years to even get to the point of seeing one. My advice is if you know someone with depression, please don't talk to them about it in the condescending tone you've chose to here, or if that's your only approach don't talk to them at all; help them find someone else. Comments like you're making are the exact reason it took me six years to see a doctor again in the first place, because weight shaming aside, you make it sound like not being able to beat depression is on the onus of the person and if they can't do it through willpower you're better than them.

[Elcura]

Point is if people continue to do nothing it's not going to improve. Fuck go do cognitive behavioral therapy. Shit works wonders.

Real depression isn't something so easily rationed away like you seem to think. You act just like someone trying to help with depression without even trying to empathize, but if it were so easy then no one would be depressed.

[Brill Weave]

If that's what you took from it that's all you dude. I don't know what to tell you other than good luck.

[Hyan]

lol

iono dude. I grew up eating unhealthy food. My parents weren't concerned at the time because I was so insanely skinny. Spending 30+ years of eating pizza n' grinders is a really hard habit to break. And I've never found most shit healthy.

lol As I said I have been only feeding my daughter healthy food. First "bad" food she had was a cupcake on her bday and I had to close my eyes during it. lol The other day I tried making spaghetti with turkey meatballs since her doctor suggested it. I actually like turkey, but I thought it tasted like crap. Don't think I can bring myself to make those anymore hahaha -.-;

I do try to limit, but it's just not enough. Anything with beef is with the leanest cuts I can find, and try to use low-fat (not for baby) on other recipes. My big killers are cheese (which I can't find low-fat white cheddar here. Albertson's used to have a store brand of it but I haven't seen it in about 4 years) and bread (hate wheat, but trying to switch over to it 'cause of baby...shit's disgusting though). I eat veggies or popcorn instead of chips. And as I said, cut out soda (have it maybe once a month vs. 4-5 cans a day like I used to).

I think I've kinda reached the limit on what I'm willing to do for crappy-tasting food.

I hate low-fat food. It tastes like shit... really. Especially cottage cheese. It doesn't help you lose weight... in fact you should aim for something like 30% of daily calories coming from good fat. That way your body won't try to conserve the fat you have on you but rather it makes the accumulated fat move and exit the body (not pretending to be an expert on this, but this is how I understand it).

Cheese is awesome. I love it but its a luxury product for me. It is calorie heavy but other than that it's quite healthy. You can get some good fats from that source. Don't go low fat please.... it tastes like CRAP and does nothing, just don't overdo it.

Bread is not really healthy but I guess it's not too unhealthy either. I like having a piece on my meal, makes the meal more varied. Just count the calories.. you could eat donuts and still lose weight if you didn't go over your daily calorie consumption. On the other hand you could eat like a mother teresa of nutrition and still gain weight if you went over your daily consumption long enough.

Snacks are the worst, you can eat a ton of calories without even noticing.

Beef is great though! But I don't believe there can be disgusting food when done right... tasteless maybe, if you're used to lots of salt on your food for example? Over time your taste buds should get used to the new normal.

[Elcura]

If that's what you took from it that's all you dude. I don't know what to tell you other than good luck.

You're still missing the point. This entire time you've been condescending and while you're giving valid advice, your tone completely erases any good you're trying to do. Sometimes all you can do to help a depressed person is just be supportive, understanding and patient. If you keep trying to rush things you'll just push them away and do more harm than good.

It's easy to get frustrated and start using the tone you've been using but that isn't helpful and if you've gotten to that point, it's best just to step away from the situation entirely.

[Brill Weave]

Real depression isn't something so easily rationed away like you seem to think. You act just like someone trying to help with depression without even trying to empathize, but if it were so easy then no one would be depressed.

I went through 8 months of cognitive behavioral therapy and have been on just about every anti depressant there is. At my lowest I seriously considered suicide on a daily basis because of my weight and how I felt. It wasn't until after therapy that it finally clicked that I needed to be responsible for myself, where I was, and how I got there. I'll stop posting since it seems my views and my experience has upset some of the more delicate people here.

[Elcura]

I went through 8 months of cognitive behavioral therapy and have been on just about every anti depressant there is. At my lowest I seriously considered suicide on a daily basis because of my weight and how I felt. It wasn't until after therapy that it finally clicked that I needed to be responsible for myself, where I was, and how I got there. I'll stop posting since it seems my views and my experience has upset some of the more delicate people here.

That sucks, I kinda understand how someone who went through depression might lash out against those who are also depressed (like how once-fat people lash out at fat people). But yes, depressed people can be sensitive about depression like fat people can be sensitive about their weight. But no matter what you're trying to do or who you're trying to help (unless you think all life is Full Metal Jacket) being aggressive is hardly the best approach. Well, I say that in matters of depression more than weight.

[Ksandra]

I went through 8 months of cognitive behavioral therapy and have been on just about every anti depressant there is. At my lowest I seriously considered suicide on a daily basis because of my weight and how I felt. It wasn't until after therapy that it finally clicked that I needed to be responsible for myself, where I was, and how I got there. I'll stop posting since it seems my views and my experience has upset some of the more delicate people here.

Here's the thing, Brill. ( Which brought me into putting myself on the chopping block in the first place.) What caused YOU to snap out of it, won't necessarily work for everyone.

You also seem to have this attitude that if we're fat it's because we're blaming other people, and not taking responsibility. As I said, at least in my case, it's all about the willpower. I know what got me fat. The only people I "blame" besides myself are my parents for raising me on terrible eating habits. But, even then, that blame only goes to a point to when I learned what to do to fix it, and didn't succeed. I know at this point it is no longer their fault because I'm a capable adult to control my own food.

But none of that has ever, ever kept me going on any kind of workout/diet I've tried. Really, at some point people give up and realize that w/e is working for others just isn't enough for you after you've tried it again and again and again and again and failed.

Unlike taco, I am not a depressed person. Don't get me wrong, it can get insanely frustrating clothes shopping, but I am not trying to kill myself over my weight. And while I'm not one of those idiots who think fat is beautiful, I've more than accepted what my body is and probably will be for the rest of my life. I have come to terms with the fact my skinny days are long gone after failure after failure. And when someone tries to attack claiming "oh just get over yourself" it does feel like you don't know anything about me, and really your advice becomes worthless.

[kuronosan]

Brill is right, actually.

Where his logic fails is that everyone has a different breaking point where they decide enough is enough and do something about it.

It's all about willpower. If Taco gets through this he'll probably say the same things.

It's really difficult to get someone who is chronically depressed to see the light but holy shit when they do they carry around a god damn torch.

[Churchill]

I lol'd when someone said you are right but your tone is mean.

Pussification of 'Murica!

That leadership style is terrible online though, most guilds are full of people waiting to tell you that your opinion ends where their feelings begin. I've never actually had an issue with it the reals, but holy shit the drama that telling someone what to do can cause.

[Kerberoz]

Special snowflake syndrome, etc.

[Xantavia]

I think losing weight is like quitting smoking. You need to have a good reason other than "Its bad for you". I know its not healthy, but I don't fucking care. I'm the kind of person that would need a scare to even think about it, and even then I would start slacking off again.

[Kuishen]

As somebody who suffers from major depression episodes, I'm siding with Brill.

I will however say that it was only after I hit rock bottom that I started getting my shit together. Frequent mental breakdowns at work (thankfully I work alone) and many thoughts of suicide. Doing much better now that I'm forcing myself to work out, eat healthier, in general trying to better myself as a human being.

Doing this without medication or therapy (bad experiences with both), though I'm planning on trying some natural remedies for depression (St. John's Wort) for the extra help because I still teeter on the brink every now and then and I want to feel secure about my mental health.

[Xno Kappa]

Just the act of physically working out can help mentally. You're never going to amount to anything as long as you continue to feel sorry for yourself.

[AidenCarby]

Just the act of physically working out can help mentally. You're never going to amount to anything as long as you continue to feel sorry for yourself.

My nigga, someone has clearly played high school football. I'm a fat guy, but hey guess what? It's not the end of the world, I've been eating right and training 6 days a week and have lost 40 lbs since February. You gotta break that barrier that says "I can't, it's too hard" and fucking man up and go do the damn thing. You can pity yourself if you want, but you can't go around expecting people to sympathize with you.

[Gadritan]

My fiance has been steadily gaining weight for months despite working out and having an exceptionally healthy diet.

Spoiler: show

cuz she's preggers

[Gadritan]

But none of that has ever, ever kept me going on any kind of workout/diet I've tried. Really, at some point people give up and realize that w/e is working for others just isn't enough for you after you've tried it again and again and again and again and failed.

That's kind of the thing. You have to actually stick to it to get results. It's ridiculous to believe that somehow your body simply won't respond to programs that work for others. We're all made of the same stuff. Yes, it is true that some of it won't work as well, but that's hardly a reason to just give up. A lot of "diets," out there are indeed a bunch of nonsense, so it does get frustrating trying to sift through it all.

What it comes down to is researching foods to discover what's really healthy. For example, "low-fat," is usually another way of saying "you shouldn't eat this anyway." Fruits, veggies, and whole grain are really the way to go. The hardest part is learning recipes, which isn't all that difficult thanks to teh internetz.

Combine that with 20minutes or so of exercise 3-4days a week and you'll get results if you stick to it.

So yeah. Willpower.