The Official Forum fail thread: This game wasn't meant for alts.

[Kirbyprime]

http://forum.square-enix.com/ffxiv/t...%21-%28-V-%29D

For level 50 mission why doesn't anyone cure. i can't even skaughter a frog without lag on right cure combos. why does everyone have to be like Hope Estein growin up.

Noticing the frog getting in the way of three mushroom murders and controling about 1500 damage. This is shitty but still think skins and cure III should be used more for 370 and 1200 counters in green.

so bad i cant absorb the 220 plus o . o 300plus spirits within yh blood bath that i doon in damage.

whtm!

I haven't figured out what he's trying to say yet, but I assume it's a fail.

[Eeeks]

Yeah, it's a fail. Still, I'd love to experience the world via his mind for 5-10 minutes just to see what it's like.

In another news, a bout of success broke out in that same thread. Someone posted an entirely plausible translation:

Spoiler: show

[Mistress Stowastiq]

The lonely kitten's thread, while not in the rp forum, has to be troll bait...I hope.
http://forum.square-enix.com/ffxiv/t...-We-re-lonely.

[Lyall]

Fucking roleplayers.

[Ratatapa]

They proably have dicks too

[OWS_Tonx]

Obviously since they're playing an mmo. Everyone knows chicks don't vidya

[Lyall]

I'm not sure if it's even cool to put this here, but I wanted to share my favorite piece of "Holy shit roleplayers" material.

General

Marrow is the daughter of the Elder Primal known as Bahamut, and another known as Shiva.. Brought forth into the world by the Ascians to have a back-up humanoid Bahamut, she is known as the Bahamutkin. After the events of the End of the Era, she was brought on to end the second Era by her adoptive parents, the Ascians who brought her into the world. She, however, rejected their choice, and instead fled into the world, never looking back. Her Primal abilities have made her scared and fearful of the world around her, for both knowing that she is a monster bred to destroy, and for the people that would seek to use her. She holds her abilities back with crystal.

-For most of her life, she was lead to believe her mother was a Miqo'te woman known as Eve. But this, was a lie by the Ascians. The coalition of two Primals creating a child was groundbreaking, but the child was nothing more than a spirit, and so she was forced into the body of an Ascian Miqo'te baby, bred in their laboratories.

Lore thread? FUCK YOUR LORE THREAD

[Rocl]

there's a special place in hell for that person

[Lyall]

The best/worst part isn't that they carry out this stuff in /say in public places. It's that there's several people all involved in the "story" who encourage and carry it on. NO FUN ALLOWED. RP IS SERIOUS BUSINESS. THAT SHIT AIN'T CANONICAL.

[Kirbyprime]

I don't know... even roleplayers usually have a creed where your story can't be too over top or suffering from god syndrome. I'm pretty sure being the love child of 2 primals with the powers of both qualifies.

[Sho]

The lonely kitten's thread, while not in the rp forum, has to be troll bait...I hope.
http://forum.square-enix.com/ffxiv/t...-We-re-lonely.

Thread got nuked. Lol.

[Mistress Stowastiq]

Thread got nuked. Lol.

I figured it would so I screen shotted it lol. Did it get relocated to rp ? eh I'll check.

[Reve]

The best/worst part isn't that they carry out this stuff in /say in public places. It's that there's several people all involved in the "story" who encourage and carry it on. NO FUN ALLOWED. RP IS SERIOUS BUSINESS. THAT SHIT AIN'T CANONICAL.

I'm pretty sure the worst part of it is that Shiva had to mate with Bahamut in that RP story.

[Raldo]

Yeah, I mean, we had a whole battleground on his hand. And you know what they say about guys with big hands...

ouch

[Deadgye]

You might say the reason she's not in the game yet is that she's been busy icing her wounds. A, ha, ha, ha.

[Indomitable Will]

I'm pretty sure the worst part of it is that Shiva had to mate with Bahamut in that RP story.

I saw a "movie" like this once

[brozy]

Pfft we all know that in this case Bahamut would be the female here since its already taken a meat cleaver to lore so wtf not, Shiva ain't around now cause she(he? :D) doesn't want to pay any child support!

[Niiro]

I don't recall seeing a Crystal Tower and a pair of Dalamuds dangling between Bahamut's legs when it was wreckin shit.

Confirmed for female.

[Serenseven]

Nah, they're just retractable. Can't leave the Crown Jewels exposed to all that radiation from Megaflare; he'd sterilize himself.

[Seravi Edalborez]

http://forum.square-enix.com/ffxiv/t...o-not-Miasma-2

SMN (not designated kiter) accidentally tags a Renaud with Miasma 2 on a near-win, causing a wipe. Somehow. Static kicks them. People in topic generally prove their ignorance of both T7 and SMN mechanics.