Oops I did it again ~

[Acevalefor]

If you can't have sex while having a bfing wife the issue isn't the bf..it's you.

[edit] guess ace did the same thing as I did with the crib/co-sleeping. internethighfive.jpg

The sex thing was more of a complete exhaustion + soreness + fussy baby meant neither of us was interested in anything but sleep for the first 4 months.

[Aksannyi]

Oh well that's normal.

You may or may not want to read this TMI part:

Spoiler: show

I had no interest in sex after my first because I had to have some stitches in a not-so-fun area. I was terrified that anything I did would cause them to come out - because they hurt so bad going in, I didn't want to have to get them done a second time. Worst experience of my life.

My ex-husband was not at all understanding about that, sure would have loved to cut open his balls and had them stitched back up without so much as a local anesthetic and have him tell me if he wanted to have sex after that.

[archibaldcrane]

Sex was in relation to kid in the bed, breastfeeding til 2+ years was the "I'm supermommy and I give my kid whatever they want no matter how inconvenient it is for me!" attitude.

I'm also in the "babies cry for no reason sometimes" camp. If the kid is fed, diaper is clean, they aren't sick and they don't have an arm stuck in a crib slat or something, I'm not going to try to solve a nonexistent problem. Cry it out, get tired out and pass out.

[Ksandra]

Sex was in relation to kid in the bed, breastfeeding til 2+ years was the "I'm supermommy and I give my kid whatever they want no matter how inconvenient it is for me!" attitude.

My point is, don't judge because you don't know. You'll find a lot of parents don't plan on cosleeping but end up doing it. There are definitely still ways to have sex even with cosleeping.


Like even this:

I'm also in the "babies cry for no reason sometimes" camp. If the kid is fed, diaper is clean, they aren't sick and they don't have an arm stuck in a crib slat or something, I'm not going to try to solve a nonexistent problem. Cry it out, get tired out and pass out.

Goes strongly against what you are taught for your child's first 3 months of life. Research suggests babies under that age don't have the capacity to "cry for no reason." But if you want to believe otherwise, more power to you. Just then don't turn around and point fingers at others for deciding to do the same in other areas.

[archibaldcrane]

Look, this is internet forum land. I don't tell my friend breastfeeding at 2 years old what to do, I bottle that shit up and spew it here.

[archibaldcrane]

Goes strongly against what you are taught for your child's first 3 months of life. Research suggests...

I'm sure you've done enough baby research that you know you can find research to support virtually any point you'd like to make about babies.

[Ksandra]

I'm sure you've done enough baby research that you know you can find research to support virtually any point you'd like to make about babies.

you are right, which is why I said more power to you to not believe it. My point was don't get in the habit of looking at others thinking "you're crazy." Because I guarantee others will look at you the same way. You just gave an easy example to point out.

[archibaldcrane]

I think it is, well, strange to get into the "parent as hard as possible" mindset. People who, by design, have kids who never sleep through the night, who never put them down other than to sleep and never let others hold them - I just don't understand why you would do that to yourself. If that is what makes a person happy, to each their own, but at the same time I don't offer much symathy to the parent who strictly demand-feeds and then complains about never sleeping through the night.

[archibaldcrane]

Speaking of which, where did you guys fall on the "baby directed feeding" vs. "strict scheduling" spectrum?

[Ksandra]

I think it is, well, strange to get into the "parent as hard as possible" mindset. People who, by design, have kids who never sleep through the night, who never put them down other than to sleep and never let others hold them - I just don't understand why you would do that to yourself. If that is what makes a person happy, to each their own, but at the same time I don't offer much symathy to the parent who strictly demand-feeds and then complains about never sleeping through the night.

Thing is no matter what you do, you aren't really going to sleep through the night. If I were to guess, I would say full time formula feeders get the most sleep. But only because they can take turns on feeding. But that just turns from 2 hour segments to 4 hour segments (of sleep that is). Newborn stomachs are tiny as shit, so it doesn't matter how much formula/breastmilk you feed them, they will be hungry in a couple hours. I mean, there's no way to deny that, just look at how tiny they are. You will be starving a newborn if you don't feed them at all during the whole night. That's a simple fact.

Really, you are setting yourself up for a big shock if you think you are (or I guess your wife if you aren't going to participate) going to get 8 hours of sleep. And I do hope you won't be that much of a dick to not help out at night just because you are stuck in that mindset.

Speaking of which, where did you guys fall on the "baby directed feeding" vs. "strict scheduling" spectrum?

probably doesn't bear repeating, but I do believe in the "complete spoiling them" for the first three months. After that I started forming a schedule, but that was almost based on her starting to match up with our own eating schedule (she would see us eat, so would want to eat, kind of thing), so it went rather naturally.

I don't think it's that hard to break them from feeding on demand or what have you. We call it spoiling, but I really don't think that's the correct term for it. So much as listening to their needs since they don't have wants yet.

My daughter is 22 months now so has been on solid foods for a long time (broke her bottle habit forever ago. I wanted to make sure she was completely off it way before my son was born). She is on the standard schedule of breakfast around 8:30, lunch around noon, and dinner around 6-7 (sometimes this is pushed because my husband gets to come home around that time randomly). With healthy snacks in between.

The big thing for me wasn't so much the food schedule but the sleep schedule. I was lucky she adapted well. Goes to bed at 9, wakes up around 8. I forget what her two nap schedule was, but she is down to 1 nap now and she takes that at 2pm.

Actually, I think the sleeping schedule also helped to form her feeding schedule as well.

[Melena]

As cute as kids are and how it's fun to watch them and there parents when the wife and I are at Disneyland, or watching family members raise there children I swear I want to cunt punch the next woman who says we are being selfish for not wanting kids. Why do so many parents suck?

[archibaldcrane]

I'm not talking about in the first couple months, I mean like months 4 and later.

[Ksandra]

I'm not talking about in the first couple months, I mean like months 4 and later.

ya I edited my post to talk about the feeding stuff afterwards. (didn't see your second post until after I posted)

[BaneTheBrawler]

As cute as kids are and how it's fun to watch them and there parents when the wife and I are at Disneyland, or watching family members raise there children I swear I want to cunt punch the next woman who says we are being selfish for not wanting kids. Why do so many parents suck?

BECAUSE, MELENA, KIDS IN AFRICA ARE STARVING. CLEAN YOUR PLATE.

[Ksandra]

BECAUSE, MELENA, KIDS IN AFRICA ARE STARVING. CLEAN YOUR PLATE.

This reminds me of something. Feeding on demand kinda goes both ways, which I guess I do continue. While we sit at the same time every night if my daughter is not hungry, I won't force her to finish her plate. Also, if she is asking for food before dinner, I'll give her a small healthy snack to eat while waiting.

I do believe their bodies give them good signals on when they need to eat and when they don't. Considering she doesn't eat like chips n' ice cream I don't think she's looking for treats. Obviously to each their own, but I am trying hard to raise her on better eating habits than what my hubby and I have. I think (and hope) having her listen to her own body should help.

[Aksannyi]

As cute as kids are and how it's fun to watch them and there parents when the wife and I are at Disneyland, or watching family members raise there children I swear I want to cunt punch the next woman who says we are being selfish for not wanting kids. Why do so many parents suck?

At its core, yes, not wanting children is selfish, that's what you want for yourself. Selfish in terms of what? The world? You mean the world full of people with fucked up unloved kids? One could argue that not just popping out kids you don't want is the exact opposite of selfish.

People in general really do suck. I love my kids but I sure as hell don't want any more right now. I have no plans to have another child until I've graduated from college. I don't call that being selfish, I call that having my fucking priorities in line.

[Abandon]

this thread got awesome.

My ex's first born (not mah kid, lawlz) would sleep in the crib, unless i was home on leave. otherwise, that fucker would not sleep unless it was on my chest. that was daytime for naps, night time, etc. shut up, stop crying, sleep. goddamnit i wanna fuck your mom, kiddo

[Abandon]

At its core, yes, not wanting children is selfish, that's what you want for yourself. Selfish in terms of what? The world? You mean the world full of people with fucked up unloved kids? One could argue that not just popping out kids you don't want is the exact opposite of selfish.

People in general really do suck. I love my kids but I sure as hell don't want any more right now. I have no plans to have another child until I've graduated from college. I don't call that being selfish, I call that having my fucking priorities in line.

how many fucking kids do you want? don't you already have like 14?

[Aksannyi]

Bitch, I have two.

Just because I was married to a Mexican doesn't mean I had a clown car vagina.

To answer your question, I don't know if I even want more kids or not, haven't really decided yet. I think my boyfriend does - eventually - so we'll see where it goes from there.

[Abandon]

that nigga gets no say until ring on hand ,etc