Random Win: The irl Fuck Ya thread

[Anoat]

If its good enough for the dog, its good enough for you!


The best part is that you can pinpoint the exact moment when the dog is thinking, "What is this? Uh...I'm not so sure about this...stop...ahhhh...actually....not too bad....oh...I like this."

[Astylla]

HOW IS THIS ENJOYABLE...

I guess I should note I also hate any type of massage to begin with so there's that..

[BaneTheBrawler]

i'm the opposite. i have/get this from any gentle, deliberate human contact. haircuts, massages, chiropractic adjustments, even just stroking, if its done right. it's an amazing sensation.

[Laugana]

Those two things seem not compatible to me... How do you have a landlord and a mortgage? Do you own something in a larger building?

I'm on a low income which means I'm eligible for something called shared ownership. My flat is worth about £80-£90k. I have a mortgage for half the value and I pay rent and maintenance costs to a housing association for the other half. It's a way to get a foot on the mortgage ladder. I'd be stuck renting for the rest of my life without it.

[Xantavia]

HOW IS THIS ENJOYABLE...

I guess I should note I also hate any type of massage to begin with so there's that..

Just let your husband give you the tip. If you don't like it, he'll stop. wink wink, nudge nudge

[NynJa]

I was filling up lotto scratches at work, and I accidentally tore a 2$ bingo in half. We cant sell it, so I bought it cause I didnt want my coworkers to laugh at the idiot who tore a scratchie in half. I can sacrifice 2$ to defend my pride and honor as someone whos not an idiot and cant tear shit on perforated lines.

WON 10$ LOL

[BaneTheBrawler]

So I posted this in the random fail thread because I dreamed it while I was sick:

I'm on a Jurassic Park-esque safari tour with pretty much everyone I've ever met (somehow all crammed into one pickup truck with room to spare) and we're nearing the end of the tour. I'm sitting in the bed of the truck, and I've clipped myself and my friends' harnesses to the truck. We're driving along this path between two man-made lakes with long-necked dinosaurs in them. One of them approaches our vehicle rapidly, and as it gets closer I can see that it has a human face with an elephant nose. I yell something about genetic modification, and then it starts talking. It's not particularly coherent, but you can tell it's fucking angry. Then it uses its trunk to pull the truck into the water. Once we hit the bottom, I unclip my tether and the tethers of my friends, but I can tell it's already too late for them. I swim around and find my dog in her bag (she's a small dog) and my friend's dog also in a bag (he's less small but whatever dreams) sitting on the bottom of the lake and swim bath to the path. The dogs are fine, but everyone I know is dead. There are crocodile-jackal-things eating some people on the path between me and the exit, but I dash past them to make it back into the main facility, with the dogs slung over my shoulders in their bags. Inside the main facility, I find everyone in some sort of auditorium, completely unaware that the dinosaurs are killing people. I start trying to evacuate them, and this one bitch with a let-me-speak-to-your-manager haircut starts giving me sass. Across the room, I make eye contact with one of my old classmates who apparently survived and is helping people evacuate. He nods. I tell the woman to ask him because he was there too.

Then I woke up and pooped.

I was not content to describe this monstrosity, this embodiment of rage. The internet being a magical place of talented people, I found a place where artists take requests, often for free.

Behold, the face of wrath:

[Abandon]

Snuck on while girl's in the bathroom; just got back from a date night, went to see John Legend. aka, bout to beat up some guts

[Xantavia]

Found a copy of AD&D 1st ed. version of Unearthed Arcana for $3 at a second hand store. Always wanted a copy of it, but had never seen one outside a copy the local library branch had 30+ years ago. A few pages are loose, but otherwise in pretty good condition.

[Brill Weave]

Snuck on while girl's in the bathroom; just got back from a date night, went to see John Legend. aka, bout to beat up some guts

Is this the same one that you blasted in her hair?

[Xno Kappa]

Saw Marlon Wayans this past saturday and that nigga was hilarious!

[Abandon]

Is this the same one that you blasted in her hair?

nope; this one is a winner

[Spicyryan]

nope; this one is a winner

Psh, is she getting ready in the bathroom? No spontaneous bed-breaking going down? It sounds like a marriage already.

On a personal note, the hail sounds nice and peaceful on the trees as I walk by. That is about as good as I can hope for in a day I suppose.

[Abandon]

Met Andrew Luck today. Was standing behind him in the bathroom waiting to get paper towels. at least he washes his hands.

[Charismatic]

who

[Abandon]

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Andrew_Luck

[Charismatic]

nigga you gay

[Abandon]

shut yo ass up

[Charismatic]

:DDD

[Anoat]

Did you bust in his hair, too?