Random Win: The irl Fuck Ya thread

[Abandon]

The point should be that you're not asking for permission, you're asking for their blessing. My wife and her biological dad don't get along too well, but I still asked his blessing because even though we only see him once a year at the most, I'm still joining his family; he deserves the right to give me his opinion on that. I made sure to ask her mom and stepdad for the same reason.

/clap

[MF Perm tha Fineass]

You don't understand how I wouldn't want my boyfriend, who has never even met my father, who lives 1100 miles away and I'm not even close to anymore, to call up there and talk to someone he's never met or been introduced to? Honestly how awkward is that?

And no, I don't need a parental permission slip to get married. If other people want to do it, that's fine, but it isn't for me. I would personally not be okay with that. And I'm fairly certain that my boyfriend already knows this about me and thus would not go ask my father (or my mother, for that matter) if he wanted to marry me. He would simply ask me.

In fact, my ex-husband did exactly that and I resented him for it. Because I didn't ask him to talk to my family - and because he went into my phone while I was sleeping to get the numbers to call them! That's a huge violation and something I'm not okay with. Stop acting like I don't have reasons behind the way I feel about things.

TIL you're not a dude

I could care less, but am too lazy to actually care less on the whole shebangbang of asking father's but I will say that apparently it's still a form of "giving away" their daughter as an object that pisses off a lot of women. I mean, that's what it used to be. Give away the daughter to another man so she can take care of him and have kids, dowrys and all that.

all good, you'll never have to worry about being wifed up

[Abandon]

i'd also like to point out that if the relationship between female and her folks is strong, and her parents don't like you at all, it's probably because you're a dickwad.

[Abandon]

TIL you're not a dude



all good, you'll never have to worry about being wifed up

jfc looool

[Tokitoki]

i think a lot of you are missing the point

What was that point?

Oh, right. Myrrh was celebrating the fact that he's going to propose, her parents were as excited as he was, and and it doesn't matter if people thought that going to the parents was something other than what it really was; informing them of his intent.

Congrats! Enjoy the vacation and days following the proposal.

EDIT: And that's what I get for leaving a tab open. A whole lot of posts in between.

[Salodin]

I'm sorry if I started this...

[Quixon]

god, ksan nailing it today.

Also, quixon, i can see that point as well, and it makes total sense. the rest of you faggots should be like me and quixon, truest of bros.

/Brofist I do understand where yall are coming from. I'm sure in a majority of the cases the potential husband would want to go through the process of asking the parents for their daughters hands. Just not for me in my case. Hell, that dude should of come to ME.

+1 to Ksan as well. If my wife wants to look through my phone she can go right ahead, the street goes both ways as well. That being said we really have no reason to go through each others phone. But on the occasional chance I'm using her phone or vice/versa, it is what it is. If I got a reaction from my wife anywhere near the reaction Aks is describing she wouldn't be my wife, plain and simple as that. I'd expect her to shit-can me if I were the same way.

[Myrrh_Quetz]

I don't understand that reaction to someone going through someone's phone. The fuck are you hiding that you care that much? My gf and I are fully open about everything. She wants to go through my phone or wallet, she can and vise versa. It would set off alarms if she ever gave the reaction that was just said here.

[Quixon]

The funny thing is Myrrh that type of relationship is the one where your significant other doesn't feel the need to look through your phone in the first place.

[BaneTheBrawler]

its aks what is there to understand

[Myrrh_Quetz]

With me, atleast it isn't about going through the others phone. It's just if it's easier to grab hers, I will. I trust her completely. And again. To get the freak out that we got on here. The fuck are you hiding

[AidenCarby]

Eh, it's more of a respect thing. If you can't trust me enough to not go through my shit then fuck you, and vice versa. If I feel I can't trust you to the point where I'm even considering digging through your shit, then you're not worth my time.

[pohibaba]

There's a difference between "digging through your shit" and "looking up a phone number" though.

[Jefe]

It wasn't the phone, dudes. It could've been almost anything and she woulda reacted the same way. She has daddy/family/anger issues. From the dude's perspective, bullet dodged? :kappa:

Mai random win, going to a party today. Yas.

[Astylla]

With me, atleast it isn't about going through the others phone. It's just if it's easier to grab hers, I will. I trust her completely. And again. To get the freak out that we got on here. The fuck are you hiding

All of this. It's not some huge deal and it doesn't have to be. Half of things are what you make out of it.

[Acevalefor]

If she feels the need to go through my phone, go for it. I am, however, going to ask her wtf is up if she ever did it behind my back. We have been together for 15 years and never had trust issues. We don't have money issues either and everything that is mine is also hers. Except my xbox. She can't touch that. And I can't touch her sewing machine and mosaic tiles.

Aksannyi getting all upset and angry over something that happened many years ago and was completely innocent tells me the relationship ending was just as much about her as it was about him.

Congratulations Myrrh! Remember to post pictures of the vacation just like last year. This time, include the proposal. We need a reaction gif from her when you ask the question.

[AidenCarby]

If she feels the need to go through my phone, go for it. I am, however, going to ask her wtf is up if she ever did it behind my back. We have been together for 15 years and never had trust issues. We don't have money issues either and everything that is mine is also hers. Except my xbox. She can't touch that. And I can't touch her sewing machine and mosaic tiles.

Aksannyi getting all upset and angry over something that happened many years ago and was completely innocent tells me the relationship ending was just as much about her as it was about him.

Congratulations Myrrh! Remember to post pictures of the vacation just like last year. This time, include the proposal. We need a reaction gif from her when you ask the question.

My nigga

[Aksannyi]

I don't understand that reaction to someone going through someone's phone. The fuck are you hiding that you care that much? My gf and I are fully open about everything. She wants to go through my phone or wallet, she can and vise versa. It would set off alarms if she ever gave the reaction that was just said here.

The fact was simple. My ex-husband hadn't met my parents yet. I wasn't even ready for him to meet them yet. I didn't want to involve them in what I thought was going to be a short-lived relationship. He took it upon himself to look up their numbers and call them before I was ready to take that step (introducing him to them and marrying him). I was then pressured by my parents to marry this "nice young man" who used this as the first manipulation in a series of many. So not only was I pressured by him to marry, long before I was ready, now I was getting it from my family, who I didn't even want involved in this because it isn't their fucking decision. Oh look, then he traps me into getting pregnant and then I pretty much have to marry him. Those of you who have not been in a controlling relationship have no fucking idea what I went through. And then I was made to look like the bad guy (as I am in this very thread) when it was a very real issue of him actually taking away my autonomy. This isn't just misplaced social justice warrior-ism. I literally lost my personal freedom to a controlling asshole.

The manipulation and emotional abuse didn't stop there, it continued for quite awhile until he actually hit me. That's when I saw everything clearly, and it all made sense. He'd done everything a certain way to isolate me from my family (not that we were close, but they were there to support me regardless), my friends, my finances, and my freedom. I had to call my father up, crying, and beg him to come get me. I was gone in less than a month.

So yes, when I look at someone going through my phone and getting a phone number for someone I didn't give him permission to contact, it looks like an extreme violation of trust and privacy. Both of which I am entitled to have in an adult relationship.

So fuck the lot of your for judging me. None of you have lived my life nor do you know what the fuck I've been through. This is the absolute last word I will say on this subject.

It wasn't the phone, dudes. It could've been almost anything and she woulda reacted the same way. She has daddy/family/anger issues. From the dude's perspective, bullet dodged? :kappa:

Annnnnd fuck you.

[Ksandra]

See but you seem to be unable to separate the events, as most of that has nothing to do with using your phone to call your parents.

Let's say he was a nice guy and he didn't pressure or your parents. Would you be that upset?

Do not get me wrong. I totally understand that if I had been in your shoes I would look at the whole situation with bile in my throat. But the bile is because he was a shitfuck (and looks like your parents didn't help the matter). I am just trying to give you perspective that not all people who look through someone's phone to get a number are shitfucks. Nor are they shitfucks for calling someone's parents to "ask" (again just etiquette) for their daughter/son's hand in marriage.

And yes, I get it that because of having such a bad history you may never get past that for yourself, I really really I doubt I could get past all that shit either. But I would like you to not just assume anyone who does it to you or to anyone else is doing it because they think the daughter/son is incapable of making their own decisions or that they are shitheads for looking up phone numbers to do something not really shitheadery. I mean, let's say you two had just started dating and you got into a severe car accident. Would it have been wrong for him to use your phone to contact people? Would it be wrong for your current bf?

I know you said this was your last word, and again I totally don't expect you to answer any of these, I am not your mother. I just am giving food for thought. Women who experience DV have a lot of completely understandable baggage they carry for the rest of their lives. I don't like to see it weigh them down.

[Myrrh_Quetz]

Actually, I'd say the only thing making you look like a bad guy in this thread, in my opinion is your extreme over reaction to the phone issue and the male speaking to the parents. You could have been completely ignored had you said "I personally don't agree with the parents being asked as blah blah blah". Like some others have in this thread. Instead, you're target of questions because of "JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, THAT MOTHER FUCKER HAD NO FUCKING RIGHT TO FUCKING LOOK THROUGH MY FUCKING PHONE"

Just saying. Everyone has their own opinions of the way things should be done. That's fine. And yes, the guy sounds like a jackass but again, you don't need to go crazy when explaining. There are some other questions I want to ask but I'll leave that be for now.

And yeah, I'll make sure to post pictures. I think I'mma try to get someone to record me asking her. I even have this good speech and shit thought out. Shits gonna be so cash