Crazy Chair's Rambo Slits Because Clitty Shitlords

[tyven]

how do you look up title edits?

[Qalbert]

administrative>edit thread

[tyven]

thx for being the best ever

[Conrad]

he really is

[Charismatic]

Had to go back and rewatch ep.6.

Definitely one of the most hype anime moments in a long ass time. Fuck man. Why is this show (and ep 6 in particular) so damn good?

[tyven]

Come on crazy chair

[Charismatic]

[Qalbert]

PROJECT BEAST webms
http://a.pomf.se/pfqpvs.webm
http://a.pomf.se/akfinw.webm
http://a.pomf.se/zoyrmx.webm
http://a.pomf.se/djsxfc.webm

[Charismatic]

PROJECT BEAST webms
http://a.pomf.se/pfqpvs.webm
http://a.pomf.se/akfinw.webm
http://a.pomf.se/zoyrmx.webm
http://a.pomf.se/djsxfc.webm

[tyven]

thats def a next gen souls game

[Charismatic]

[Charismatic]

http://i.minus.com/ibhrpBp7qPe3SU.gif


Anyone else think this looks like the Fool's Idol boss room?

[Charismatic]

nvm, watched a video of the boss fight and it doesn't look that similar to me anymore

[Charismatic]

We blatant Souls ripoff nao.

[Charismatic]

I know that vid is old, but its new to me.

[Qalbert]

people keep going waaah it looks like Souls but I don't see how that's a bad thing? I'm fine with a pretty newgen Souls-lite

[Charismatic]

Its not a bad thing per se but I personally don't want devs just wholesale ripping off other games unless they are gonna do it better (See: Toukiden)

[Charismatic]

http://a.pomf.se/ioebrp.webm

[Charismatic]

I might have read the maddest Dark Souls 2 rant on YouTube in the comments on one of those Project Beast vids... g'damn.

Spoiler: show

That does not forgive the laziest levels and boss design I've ever seen in a game. The levels are all "straight hallways with a boss at the end" You're railroaded into taking the same exact path early in the game. The Lost Bastille has 3 paths TOO it but the bonfires are placed so close to each other there's no challenge. The Bonfires EVERYWHERE are too close to pose a challenge. They added a shortcut mechanic for kicking down trees which they felt was so integral they put it in the tutorial TWICE, one right after the other yet you see the function only ONE time in the game at the copse. The Blue covenants are broken, the lore is thin, the bosses have no real history, your quest is vague, the explanation for the curse resurgence isn't actually an explanation. Why is Aldia a dragon? Why wasn't the REAL dragon an actual boss fight? Pursuer, Looking Glass, Flexile, Sinner, Ruin (nine of them, for fucks sakes), Dragonslayer, Dragonrider (three of them in the game, like we needed more after the first snorefest encounter) Smelter, Velstadt, Watcher and Defender are all the same boring slow sweeping high tracking, 100% blockable physical attack cut-copied boss fights and anything that seemed original was depressingly easy, like the Duke's Dear Freja, and the Song demon whose only real difficulty was that they were invincible except in the face for 2 seconds before an attack. The Rat bosses were both jokes, the Vanguard being just a literal horde of 1 hit kill rats, I didn't even notice there was an actual boss in that fight until I entered NG++ and decided NOT to use the 1 of only 4 AoE spells the game just basically hands you, and just smack them with a sword. while the Authority is just a really shitty Sif rehash, but instead of fighting a proud grey wolf who wields the ancient sword of his lost and hollow master to protect his grave from the chosen undead that has come to usurp the age of fire and light, you fight a big overly wolf like rat thing that you spend 3 minutes staring at his crotch until it dies. What was it protecting? Quote "The warm sludge that laps at their bosoms." You're there to become king or some shit, and the battle strategy for any overlarge boss is "stab it in the crotch or ass until it dies" What was the mission again? Harass the wildlife in a sewer?!? You can skip WHOLE sections of this game because they are unimportant, Name 1 part of the last 2 souls games that you could even SAY that about? Anything that was a sidequest, was either hidden, or really hard to initiate, and you had to WORK for it. I'm surprised this game didn't just slap a flexile sentry at the start of those levels with Shibuya's and Tanimura's heads who'd ask "You wanna skip the Doors and the Saints? and most of the bastille? Skip em, there's only like 7 dregs in there to deal with anyway, you can just run PAST them! We made it EASY! You don't even HAVE to play 60% of the game!" Even in parts of the game where we shouldn't have needed repeat fights, you're given boss monsters that have been relegated to standard mook status, which is depressing because then you realize the boss battles weren't so much boss battles as they were a slugging with a normal npc that just had extra health that they crammed you into a tight room with. Ruin isn't even hard, get a 100% physical blocking shield and you pretty much own the first one, then you can strafe and pick the other two off. OH WAIT, That's the strategy with EVERY single monster in this game because only 2 of them seem to use any other tactic other than swing heavy unenchanted sword, in the last game they did as much as they could to make sure that at least on the first playthrough you couldn't cheese a fight by taking 0 damage, and if you could, it was a fight that mitigated that by knocking you on your ass and making you vulnerable, so you either had to chose between taking some sort of damage, and doing little back, or doing a ton of damage and losing all your health, in DS2? Buy the kite shield from McDuff, upgrade it all the way (because by the time you actually FIND his bloody ember, you've gone through more than half the game and better damn well have picked up everything you needed at this point) and then NEVER USE ANOTHER SHIELD IN THE GAME UNTIL YOU'RE LEVEL 531 WHEN THE KING'S SHIELD FINALLY HAS BETTER PROTECTION.BECAUSE MATH ISN'T THIS GAMES STRONG SUIT. Whose the Prince? Whose the Princess? Whose the OTHER Princess? There's also 2(3) queens in this game, and one of them might be a princess and None of these assholes actually have names. And one of them's a hologram! How can there be inner turmoil to "countries" that are only 2 minute walks from each other? Who are these assholes and why are they even important? Why do they have the souls you need to kill King Vendrick? Why is King Vendrick the easiest boss in the game? All you have to do is stay on his right, and pike his bum by standing in between his legs. Dead, 2 minutes. Why does the game let you take his stuff before you kill him? Why do you have to travel to a competely DIFFERENT LEVEL to pick up his soul? How did his soul end up there behind a wall, if his body is down here in the crypt, and there's no way to the Shrine from where you're standing? There's NOTHING above earthen peak but clouds, but you take an elevator up to get to the Iron Keep. Heide is a hallway with no walls. The Shaded Woods are also a hallway that's nothing BUT walls of unclimbable dirt. The Lion people could have had some story but you learn that this place is just a dumping ground for Aldia apparently and has the least weird shit in the game, which isn't saying much, because the last game had an incomplete open heart surgery dragon. The Scorpion fight was a shitty Chaos Witch rehash, (Why didn't she have Qualaggs soul?)

There is too much wrong with this game and this has absolutely NOTHING to do with graphics. I don't give a flying shit if they reused a stonebrick texture on the walls, I'm not gonna sit there and admire the masonry on a grey featureless wall, I want the game to play without chugging.

There's no story. There's no real mission. You're not thrown into conflict, you walk there one evening because, just-because! There are actually useless npc's in this game. 2 of the bonfire witches don't even DO anything. Shalaquar was useless unless you're keeping track of your covenant, which you can do AT the covenant. There's no reason to abandon a covenant since the only way to sin in the game is to invade or kill an npc. They could have given her sale items to ANYone and it would have made no difference or they could have made it a bloody challange and make you FIND the shit you need instead of handing it to you. Her chat options are only helpful AFTER you fight the bosses she talks about. They should have given her dialogue to the Emerald Herald to give her some usefulness other than annoying the shit out of you. Cale does nothing, Lenigrast is useless because both ornifext and mcduff do his job PLUS upgrades and god weapons.

Straid was turned to stone and locked away in the lost Bastille, yet this was during the Undead hunts of the Iron King, but THAT doesn't make sense because they built the Bastille several hundred years BEFORE The Iron Keep. He should have been dead before they even locked him up! Did they petrify him once before they caught him, unpetrify him so Vendrick could use his magic a few hundred years later to make his castle because cement was too hard to work with, then petrify him AGAIN?!? Exactly what lost kingdom map dungeon castle does Straid come from and why should I give a fuck? Was he captured during the reign of the Iron King or Vendrick? Which country came first? How are we supposed to draw a timeline if every map is a lost civilization? Did NO ONE TRADE BACK IN THE DAY?!? IS WRITTEN HISTORY A THING WE ONLY STARTING DOING ONCE WE INVENTED THE MATCHLOCK GUN!?! HOW WAS HE ESCAPING HIS CELL IF THEY THREW HIM IN THERE PETRIFIED?!? WAS HE TOO HEAVY TO PUSH ALL THE WAY IN? WHY IS THERE A BONFIRE IN THERE??!?

[Charismatic]

HYPE