Making friends

[Aksannyi]

I didn't blame the games themselves. We all played like madmen back in the day. But when you choose vidya over possible social interactions, then wanna lament because you don't know how to relate to people IRL? I don't know how there ISN'T an automatic correlation.

tl;dr: stop being bad

If you're talking about me then you do have it at least partially wrong, because part of why I got as immersed in FFXI as I did was depression, which was extremely isolating. And people who don't suffer from it don't understand why people who are depressed don't just "go out and do things."

Now that I have (mostly) passed that phase of my life (and I say "mostly" because I know it's still lurking, I don't think depression ever goes away, you just handle it better), I would like to get out more. And yes, I would like to find friends who are understanding about depression and how debilitating it can actually be, so that they'll know that if(when) I ignore them, it's not them, it's me.

Superficial friends I suppose would be very easy to make. I could go out and drink with the best of them. But that's not, at the heart of the matter, what I'm looking for.

[Abandon]

not you in particular, no. but a lot of "hardcore" gamers in general, it applies to.

[bechyni]

I skipped class for Nidhogg camps when I was up for Dalm. I'd nap between intervals if the camps were late night.

Nothing to deal with the topic at hand but I'll share my experience with shit like this. Was finally up for Hauteclaire (I say finally but it was really only me + shell holder that were going to get it). It was early window, think the first hour or so, window passed and I figured I had enough time to go get some...well it took a little longer than expected. Midthrust I get a call from LS leader, of course I answer it, he says that it had popped and we had claim. Immediately put all my clothes on and ran out the door, full boner the entire drive home, log in kill Khim and get the drop, all whilst trying to convince the person i just ran out on to come over and finish, they did and it was a successful day.

[arus2001]

I didn't blame the games themselves. We all played like madmen back in the day. But when you choose vidya over possible social interactions, then wanna lament because you don't know how to relate to people IRL? I don't know how there ISN'T an automatic correlation.

tl;dr: stop being bad

Can it be a bad choice? Sure. I'd probably say it's not "as bad" once the internet got wiggled into it. You can text, talk, or even vid chat with folks nowadays so the only thing that's really lacking is the ability to punch an xbox kiddy in the face like I used to do with an old friend before he got married and moved across the country with his wife for her job. But then, pretty much anything in excess is bad. Except money.

Pulling up census data on my town, it's a 45.9%:54.1% split between males and females. The average age of its residents is 47.9. I've "complained" about it being rough to make friends here, myself, and there being a literal generation gap between myself and the average is one of those reasons. Compared to the rest of the state, it's also a pretty depressed community with lower than average state-wide incomes and the property values themselves being even worse on average. Even trying to be pro-active on the net, like that meetup site someone mentioned, the closest things are generally over an hour away up in Pittsburgh. Hell, past tinkerings with dating sites and the like has it very rare to find 10 or more folks within 40 miles of here.

So, while it's easy for some to say just go outside or even just pick up their life and move, it's not that simple. :/

[Aksannyi]

Nothing to deal with the topic at hand but I'll share my experience with shit like this. Was finally up for Hauteclaire (I say finally but it was really only me + shell holder that were going to get it). It was early window, think the first hour or so, window passed and I figured I had enough time to go get some...well it took a little longer than expected. Midthrust I get a call from LS leader, of course I answer it, he says that it had popped and we had claim. Immediately put all my clothes on and ran out the door, full boner the entire drive home, log in kill Khim and get the drop, all whilst trying to convince the person i just ran out on to come over and finish, they did and it was a successful day.

That is awesome, lol.

[Brill Weave]

Nothing to deal with the topic at hand but I'll share my experience with shit like this. Was finally up for Hauteclaire (I say finally but it was really only me + shell holder that were going to get it). It was early window, think the first hour or so, window passed and I figured I had enough time to go get some...well it took a little longer than expected. Midthrust I get a call from LS leader, of course I answer it, he says that it had popped and we had claim. Immediately put all my clothes on and ran out the door, full boner the entire drive home, log in kill Khim and get the drop, all whilst trying to convince the person i just ran out on to come over and finish, they did and it was a successful day.

You're an idiot lmao.

[Senji]

Hauteclaire boner day.

Echoing the amazing.

Wait a minute video games cause lack of social skills ? So sitting alone playing FFXI makes you socially awkward makes sense.

Less time on BG more time in real world might help you out.

Additionally itt; No one wanting to push for calling others, but disjointed when they don't get the call themselves.

[Cantih]

Additionally itt; No one wanting to push for calling others, but disjointed when they don't get the call themselves.

Because then you have to worry about being a bother. And this assumes you know anyone in the first place.


It would be convenient if there were some kind of place people could go, and just hang around there, knowing that anyone else that showed up was there for the same reason.
Ha ha, you think "Cantih, you just described a bar, you dumb motherfucker."
But the issue is that the reason to visit a bar is not the same as the reason this thread is about. Same with churches. You may find friends as an accidental side effect on occasion, but the reason to be there is completely different. If you've got months or years and effort to burn, yeah you might get lucky.

So, other places where groups regularly gather, hmm.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Country_club
No, douchebags. And you generally can't get in anyway. (And if you can, you generally already have "friends".)
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gentlemen%27s_club
I repeat myself.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Catego..._organizations
oooooooollllllllllldddddddddd people. Though yes, this was probably their attempt to solve this fucking problem fifty years ago.

Guess you just have to build your own, but when you get so specialized, you might not have the local population to support such a thing. And you're right, you have to do it in a way to connect like-minded people regardless of geography.
Ha ha, you think "Cantih, you just described the forum, you dumb motherfucker."
But, as has come up before, internet people aren't real, they don't count.

Taking all this into consideration, I can only reach one conclusion.

WE MUST BUILD BG CITY!
(goddamn it, where is that old "We built this city on cock and stone" picture when you fucking need it.)

[Senji]

Oh lawd! BG City would be a war zone.

Theme is going outside and doing something. This thread already spawned the bowling one, do that. Plenty of cycling clubs that don't race, magic the gathering/other games at shops, etc. Fish tank people do dinners at each other's houses and talk/look at setups. Yeahit sounds like serial killer waiting to happen, but they are out there doing it. Shit just about every store that could be slanged into _______ shop has people that loiter for group activities, and probably have designated times for meets or could put you in contact with those who do. I know people that meet up to shuttle big wheel runs down public roads with lower traffic and then go out after. Not expanding beyond vidya games and sitting in the dark is limiting though.

[Charismatic]

Oh lawd! BG City would be a war zone.

"Don't hesitate nigga, or the BG gon' have to split you."

[Xajii]

Superficial friends I suppose would be very easy to make. I could go out and drink with the best of them. But that's not, at the heart of the matter, what I'm looking for.

i feel like you arent listening. these magical super deep best friends forever dont pop up out of nowhere. you have to start somewhere. your standards and judgment levels are ridiculous

[bechyni]

You're an idiot lmao.

Hey you weren't shit unless you had a Hauteclaire

[Diomer]

Nothing to deal with the topic at hand but I'll share my experience with shit like this. Was finally up for Hauteclaire (I say finally but it was really only me + shell holder that were going to get it). It was early window, think the first hour or so, window passed and I figured I had enough time to go get some...well it took a little longer than expected. Midthrust I get a call from LS leader, of course I answer it, he says that it had popped and we had claim. Immediately put all my clothes on and ran out the door, full boner the entire drive home, log in kill Khim and get the drop, all whilst trying to convince the person i just ran out on to come over and finish, they did and it was a successful day.

This is actually a true story.

[Abandon]

i feel like you arent listening. these magical super deep best friends forever dont pop up out of nowhere. you have to start somewhere. your standards and judgment levels are ridiculous

truth.

[Ksandra]

deep down, abandon wants to be my bff

[Abandon]

you won't LET me be your bff, refuses to add me on facespace even though it's relatively tame, with a serious down slope of f-bombs i drop

[Abandon]

that, and i'm taking your daughter to disney with me to land broads

[Ksandra]

you won't LET me be your bff, refuses to add me on facespace even though it's relatively tame, with a serious down slope of f-bombs i drop

you got old son

that, and i'm taking your daughter to disney with me to land broads

rofl

[Brill Weave]

Hey you weren't shit unless you had a Hauteclaire

I can't believe she finished the job tbh lmao.

[Senji]

I can't believe she finished the job tbh lmao.

He's now rocking a Hauteclaire.