Transgender Philosophy (Questions, Ideology)

[Yuri-G]

I think it's great that you've come to terms with yourself, and that trans and non-binary gender issues are becoming more known, so that more people can begin to identify themselves and feel more comfortable with themselves. I know that people sincerely question what "awareness" does, but this is what it does - it gives people who might not know or understand who they are a chance to see and identify with it.

I agree completely. I have a friend who is very gender-fluid and her example is what made me question "What is my internal experience as it relates to gender?" I don't identify as completely female, but rather primarily female in the non-binary context (I love that term btw... gender is so not binary, at least for me).

@ Salodin, it's not just the emotional half of me. I guess I would say I identify as societally-female, if that helps? I fit in better with women, my friends are all women, I prefer female voices (I have almost no music sung by men), I sometimes wish I was a woman just because I'm jealous of how much more fun they get to have with fashion... there are lots of reasons.

Then again, that's not even completely true - it's not just societally-based. All the gods I worship are women, if you want another example - I've never been like "Oh, Ra, he's fucking awesome! Yeah, Gilgamesh!" when I study mythology... but I'm definitely fascinated by Inanna, Isis, Kali, Pele etc. I identify with them to a degree I can't explain, nor will I try. I hesitate to even bring that up because spirituality is highly private to me but it might be a stronger way to explain my feelings than simply "I played with barbies when I was little."

I'm hesitant to say that I truly identify as female, because like I said - love my body, sticking with it thanks. But I certainly don't feel comfortable being a straight-up dude either. More than anything I simply meant to say that I'm learning to experience my own gender fluidity within the context of a heteronormative society, and maybe I was a bit too flippant with the way I said it. That said, I'm a fucking Valkyrie Warrior Princess motherfucker and experiencing that on my own terms is my right :D

[Aksannyi]

What is identifying as female? Without using gender stereotypes.

Can liking welding be my reason for identifying as female? Tuning up cars? Loving interior design? What Female specific thing is one of your many reasons for identifying as a female other than biology?

I can't answer that for everyone. To me, it's a gut feeling, a knowledge that I'm a female. I don't know if it's the same for other women. I think how someone determines their gender is highly personal. I've never questioned mine, so I don't know what that's like. But I really do think it's personal and individualized. I mean I don't know you, but I assume that you feel it in your heart, mind, or gut that you are male. You just know this intrinsically.

[Yuri-G]

I do want to make it clear that this experience is new to me and I'm still exploring what it means to identify as one thing or the other. That said, my best answer is along the same lines as what Aksyanni said - it's something you just have to feel out for yourself. My opinion (and it's only an opinion) is that most people are neither gender-unary nor gender-static. When I say I identify as primarily female it doesn't mean I have no feeling of being male - hell yeah I'm a dude. I'm just more of a chick. And it certainly changes and shifts from day to day, situation to situation - there are moments when I might feel more male than female. Sex is one such example - hard to feel female when you're pumping it into another dude. But by and large, my experience averages out to being more female than male.

Another thought that pops into mind: My gender experience also doesn't mean as much to me as it might to some people. Coming to this realization is simply something that has helped me understand how I experience life. I'm still a guy and would prefer being referred to as a male externally.

[Eurell]

I'm happy for you for figuring things out more. I'm definitely confused like some others, what you're describing sounds to me like just personality traits. But wtf do I know lol

[thetruepandagod]

When I say I identify as primarily female it doesn't mean I have no feeling of being male - hell yeah I'm a dude.

What activities make you feel like you are feminine.

Sex is one such example - hard to feel female when you're pumping it into another dude.

Strapons exist, should a woman be void of feeling feminine while pegging a man, if so why?

Every single non biological action in this world is not gender specific, so why do certain actions make you feel like you are feminine if they are all inherently genderless.

[archibaldcrane]

I'm a liberal open minded dude who "understands" transgender issues...

...and I just don't understand the "gender is not a binary" concept.

[Aksannyi]

Lol wikipedia but
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Genderqueer
http://gender.wikia.com/wiki/Gender_Wiki

[thetruepandagod]

It's like saying I identify as a jew or a muslim because I hate pork.

[thetruepandagod]

Lol wikipedia but
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Genderqueer
http://gender.wikia.com/wiki/Gender_Wiki

You have literally answered nothing and not even understood my question.

How do genderless actions and thoughts make a person identify as a certain gender?

[Yuri-G]

What activities make you feel like you are feminine.

Ones that invoke my personal power source. For example, jumping out of a plane - when I do that I'm not some big brave man, I'm a fucking warrior princess. When someone hurts me to my core and I need to defend myself, it comes from a place of feminine power more than masculine - I'm a fucking she-lion and you will back the fuck down motherfucker.

Honestly, most day-to-day experiences don't trigger either a female or masculine experience. But when the extreme experiences happen, I almost always revert back to my feminine self for protection.

Strapons exist, should a woman be void of feeling feminine while pegging a man, if so why?

Absolutely not. Maybe she's Kali fucking the shit out of Shiva and tearing his ass apart, I don't know!

BTW I really like your questions, they're making me examine my own experience further - which is what I should be doing!

[Guitarman]

I'm a liberal open minded dude who "understands" transgender issues...

...and I just don't understand the "gender is not a binary" concept.

I just keep falling back to people trying REALLY hard to be special snowflakes.

@Yuri: Pure speculation on my part, just going off what you've mentioned in the past few pages, I really think you're just a guy that enjoys some of the more feminine side of life. It doesn't make you part feminine or female or anything, it's just what you enjoy. I wouldn't push so hard to put all these crazy labels on yourself. Media shoves down the Marlboro man-eque theme for men and the barbie girl aesthetic for women, and whatever god you pray to help you if you deviate in any way, shape or form from that the media says is acceptable. Newsflash for mainstream media: being a man has a million different meanings, and you can be fully gender male and still enjoy more "feminine" activities.

Sidenote that I'm sure some people will enjoy hearing, (looking at you, Aks), OKcupid quitely updated their site to offer "non-binary" as a sexual preference option.

[Yuri-G]

You might be right. I'm still exploring the idea of gender identity and gender fluidity. That said... man, I've always been kind of a princess at heart.

That said, this flip of perspective has certainly increased my compassion toward transgendered people, transvestites, drag queens/kings, etc.

That said, I say "that said" too much.

[Aksannyi]

You have literally answered nothing and not even understood my question.

How do genderless actions and thoughts make a person identify as a certain gender?

I actually don't know, and that's what I was trying to say in my earlier response to you. I'd imagine that how someone identifies as a gender is personal, but I also imagine it's just something you know about yourself.

I have never had an experience where I questioned my gender so I literally cannot answer that with any degree of accuracy.

[thetruepandagod]

I have never had an experience where I questioned my gender so I literally cannot answer that with any degree of accuracy.

Questioning ones own gender is a fools distraction on their quest to become comfortable with themselves. Any attempt at trying to create a life identity based solely around various constructed gender norms can't be healthy. The thought process that a person may or not be a certain gender just because of what they view as inherently gender specific interests(dolls vs trucks) should not even exist, it should merely be a question of do I enjoy this or not. Trans people uphold gender norms more strictly than most people in life from what I have seen because they have very few activities/interests/actions that don't go through a gender specific lens first.

[Psion]

I'm not sure how it is with other people, but I identify as "male" internally, although my inner self looks nothing like my outer body. Unlike Yuri, though, it definitely is uncomfortable being like that. Ever since i was a lil kid I would get feelings like "my hair should be blonde, not black" and "my eyes aren't supposed to be brown". I couldn't decide what color they were supposed to be though, changing between blue or green, but unsure of which. As I grew older though, the image sort of slowly became sharper, such as the exact height, musculature, facial features... I would see something in life and suddenly it would be like something "clicked" after seeing an example of exactly what I was looking for, such as the exact shade of green eyes.

It's still not entirely clear even though I'm almost 30 years old now, but it's far sharper and clearer than what it was like as a kid. Almost like seeing a slightly fuzzy picture of someone you recognize. Incidentally, I don't just have one mental image either, but two. I've talked to myself in my head since I was young as well. Sometimes it was many voices, sometimes just one, but it finally settled down to one personality with his own mental image. Unlike the other voices, it's not just a caricature of a person either, but almost like a whole person... but at the same time, myself.

It's very difficult to describe, but I guess it's almost like different alter egos. The best way I can picture it is like a crystal, with many facets. Two large ones and many small ones. One is myself, one is himself, and the rest are smaller facets of personality that shine through to others once in a while, but all are simply different faces of the same soul. There's no competition for who controls the body, or voices telling me to stab stuff. Because both are myself, and it's as silly to fight with each other as it is to punch yourself in the face because your hand decides it doesn't like you anymore.

I have no clue how it is with other people though.

[Teryu]

Headmates?

[NynJa]

Pls correct me if im wrong, but wasnt there a discussion on the feminism thread that the feminists vastly disliked the notion of anything being "tailored for boys or for girls"?

[Aksannyi]

I don't know it that was in the feminism thread or not, but the strict imposition of gender roles is something that feminists do strongly disagree with, yes.

[EternityEnd]

As long as you're comfortable with your body, it sounds more as if you're simply an effeminate dude, Yuri-G.

I often find myself feeling strange in discussions such as this, because I can't wrap my mind around the almost chic preoccupation with "gender." I don't identify markedly as either gender, but I'm a (gay) guy. I'd say I know a handful of men—maybe more women—who generally adhere to stereotypes, but most don't. Masculinity and femininity are cultural constructs, often differing greatly geographically and historically, so to build one's identity around their nebulous tenets seems absurd to me.

That said, I am empathetic toward trans- individuals' struggles. It's easy to imagine some neurological difference that causes serious distress over your body, and a yearning to (physically) be the opposite sex—to create a parity of mind and body.

Ever since i was a lil kid I would get feelings like "my hair should be blonde, not black" and "my eyes aren't supposed to be brown". I couldn't decide what color they were supposed to be though, changing between blue or green, but unsure of which.

Yeah, I can relate, Psion. If I had to, I'd say it's something to do with being sexually attracted to the sex that you are—there's definitely an element of desiring to be the traits you find attractive, since you can directly contrast them with your body, unlike heterosexuals. Totally affects self-perception, often negatively, fueling self-esteem issues.

[NynJa]

I don't know it that was in the feminism thread or not, but the strict imposition of gender roles is something that feminists do strongly disagree with, yes.

And yet youre perfectly okay with "i feel i identify as a female because i enjoy doing feminine things"? This sounds like youre trying to have your cake and eat it too (which is an expression ive never really understood).

Im not trying to start shit, just trying to understand something that isnt making sense in my head.