Non Religious Dating Religious.... Possible?

[Melena]

I dated a Mormon once. At one point we discussed marriage though it didn't get far. I should have ran very far away when she said she wants to be married in the temple where you have to be Mormon to even set foot in. I should have ran very far away at that point, and she wasn't even a devout mormon.

[Aragon of Odin]

I'm atheist, my gf and her family are not, they are Christian.

There's a difference of views for sure, but I don't see it as so complex that it'll ruin our relationship. You have to know that it's gotta be give and take, sometimes you just gotta do things out of tradition you may not believe in.

We have a 5 month old together, and we'll be Baptizing him this spring. I don't care to Baptize my boy obviously since I don't believe in it, but at the same time I was raised Catholic, and the one thing I am able to take out of being raised Catholic is that some tradition of theirs does help create a better family "togetherness".

It's a reason for me and my family, friends etc.. to come together, and I can live with that. I've always liked the idea of having a God parent, I find it brings family/friends closer, and there's nothing wrong with that.

So long as my kids aren't being force fed bullshit beliefs and lies, I have no problems with them being introduced to religion and making the choice for themselves.

[Astylla]

If you are looking for something long term I think it can be an issue. I'm agnostic and my husband atheist and for me I couldn't be with someone that has a strong faith or religious background in a relationship. I can have friends and family that do and respect it but on a personal level I would be lying if a said I would be comfortable with it. I already have to hide posts on FB daily about church or religious posts because they annoy me. I just think it can drive such a large rift that I wouldn't ever choose to be with someone who is. But it really depends on how you are with things. It's not doomed but it might be difficult. Just be honest now instead of dragging it out later and see what happens.

[Meresgi]

Cute young asian doctor

Why are you even asking anything about this? Fuck you with all the jealous rage I can muster up.

Seriously though, it's totally doable so long as neither of you are total assholes like most religious types nowadays. I've dated both super devote religious and 100% atheists and never had a problem at all, so long as both parties understand each other. Everything is a give and take in any relationship, religion is just one more thing. If you were a die hard (insert sports team) fan and she liked (anti that sports team) it would be the same. She's just rooting for Jesus to win the superbowl and you only like watching the commercials.

Again fuck you for finding a cute Asian doctor

[SephYuyX]

Good luck being accepted by her family.

[Guitarman]

It's seriously not a problem, even from the kids standpoint. I was in church for years as a child until my parents got kind of tired of the strict rules and we left. But it was a good experience; I got to see what devout faith is like, and now live with a more theistic/agnostic mindset. The key was the entire time my parents encouraged finding my own answers. If I ended up a hardcore bible thumper, they made it very clear they would still love and accept me. Same if I was a staunch atheist. It sounds like you would be a similar type of parent, so as long as she is as well, that's all you have to worry about.

Take the first step, see who she is, then worry about the big stuff as you go along.

[Cream Soda]

Good luck being accepted by her family.

Not sure how the OP feels, but I couldn't care less about that personally. Less time they want to spend w/ me the better

[Inshiya]

"young asian doctor"
what the fuck does that mean. is she a resident? if she's out of residency, she's at minimum 30, no? anyway, it really depends on how "stark" of an atheist you are, and how into christianity she is. I see issues if you're one of those "THERE IS NO GOD" people and she's into going to church every week. She ever tried to get you to go to church?

also dont think that sex won't be great. it has nothing to do with her faith.

Well I'm 32, and she's about my age. I consider early 30s young, but I know that's relative. She's out of residency.

Her family is apparently very religious so "GL having her family accept you" is kind of relevant..

She's also a general practitioner and works for the government, so she won't make a ton, so there will eventually be a large income difference between us (lawyer).

Theism does really bother me, but part of me also thinks that being in a relationship with one may help temper my dick-ishness on the subject. I too often lose friends/people in my life because they believe stupid shit... Being able to work past that would be helpful for me.


She's super cute :/. (and I've been on so many damn dates in the last year where they're all worthless young succubuses and only good for one thing).

[D44kpunk]

more than likely if she knows you're atheist and is willing to try and you came here to ask a forum of people what they think, you're more likely to push your atheism on her than she is to push her christianity on you.

not calling you out or anything, just with the facts given i'm guessing it wouldn't work because of that

[Inshiya]

more than likely if she knows you're atheist and is willing to try and you came here to ask a forum of people what they think, you're more likely to push your atheism on her than she is to push her christianity on you.

not calling you out or anything, just with the facts given i'm guessing it wouldn't work because of that

I think we're both assessing whether there's a potential future here at this point. She may or may not be talking to her friends about this issue, but I'm sure she's at least internally reflecting on it.

Me coming here is just seeking outside advice and guidance from people in the situaton.

Seeking other people's perspectives when you're faced with a complex situation seems like a pretty good thing to do, not evidence that I'm a pushy atheist asshole :/.

[SephYuyX]

Not sure how the OP feels, but I couldn't care less about that personally. Less time they want to spend w/ me the better

Doesnt matter what you want though, it's what she wants, and if shes a religious person, good chances shes very close to her family.
If shes very close to her family, then that means youre going to be involved in their lives a lot.
If youre not getting along with her family, shes going to get upset, which will be taken out on you.

Theres a reason they say "Youre not just marrying the person, youre marrying the family".

Granted, yes, this isnt dating advice. But this is general advice to keep in the back of the head if you think it might ever reach that point. There are some instances where the family is ok with the differences, but if the girl isnt happy with the guy and her family not getting along, leave now.

[Aragon of Odin]

You're not really in a "complex situation" yet though.

There really isn't anything complex about religious dating non-religious, it doesn't become complex until one starts to push their views on the other. Take it in stride, will their be complex situations? Sure there will, but that goes for any couple dating, not just religious vs non-religious.

[Inshiya]

Whether we're in a complex situation now or will be is the entire point of this discussion. The question is whether this will cause inevitable problems down the road.

I want to believe that it's possible to have a rewarding relationship with such stark differences in fundamental beliefs about our universe. People here have said it's possible and have experienced it. That gives me a bit of hope.

Also holding out for a cute young professional who is single, kidless, an atheist, and hasn't been drilled by 300 guys seems like holding out for Kate Upton to accidently trip and fall onto my dick while I'm drinking my morning coffee.

[Heavencloud]

Well I'm 32, and she's about my age. I consider early 30s young, but I know that's relative. She's out of residency.

Her family is apparently very religious so "GL having her family accept you" is kind of relevant..

She's also a general practitioner and works for the government, so she won't make a ton, so there will eventually be a large income difference between us (lawyer).

Theism does really bother me, but part of me also thinks that being in a relationship with one may help temper my dick-ishness on the subject. I too often lose friends/people in my life because they believe stupid shit... Being able to work past that would be helpful for me.


She's super cute :/. (and I've been on so many damn dates in the last year where they're all worthless young succubuses and only good for one thing).

Theism is very common in the medical profession. We see a lot of shit and it's hard to think there isn't some greater good. Also, not all churches/christians are the ones you see on TV & FOX news. There are a lot of good people who have religion as a part of trying to be good people and help others. It sounds like she might be good for you.

[Aragon of Odin]

Whether it causes problems or not is purely based on you 2 as individuals, no one here can give you insight to that. You'll have people on both sides saying it can work or can't work based on experiences they've had.

It's no different than anything else though, there's always going to be differences of opinions, and people will always have to give & take. In comes more down to the more specific topics inside religion itself, and whether you or her will be willing to budge on your stance or not.

[SephYuyX]

Whether we're in a complex situation now or will be is the entire point of this discussion. The question is whether this will cause inevitable problems down the road.

Not something were able to determine, it's all on her (and you too I suppose - maybe youll end up converting, who knows). Religious/non relationship is completly possible, but most entirely up to her. As with any relationships, some of her views will change over time, as will yours. Another example being, what if you have kids with her? Are they going to be raised religious? If so, are they going to be ok (is she going to be ok) with their father not being a part of that? Only something you and her can talk about and decide on. Obviously not something youll talk about out of the gate, but if you have any plans to make a lasting relationship, then itll happen sooner or later. Youre only going to find these things out over the normal course of any relationship.

The general consensus here will be: Date, have fun, cross the bridges when the come, but keep in the back of your head there may be an ultimatum at one point.

[Inshiya]

Well both her Asian background and Christian beliefs require her to obey her husband right? So I can just marry her and command her to tone it down a bit :D.

(That's a joke, don't go cray cray on me).

Thanx for all the advice everyone. Don't meet many ladies I get excited about often, so it's nice to see there's a possibility here.

[SephYuyX]

Asian background and Christian beliefs.

Dude.
Youre screwed.

[Kazen]

My girl friend is an asian engineer who is super religious, she was completely fine with me being an atheist and I'm fine with her being christian and we've had zero issues. Her parents accept me but they didn't find out I was atheist until a year later so by that point they already liked me and it wasn't an issue. Her mom was slightly disappointed but that was about it and I never heard anything else about it. She has never tried to bring me to anything religious and it never comes up in conversation. So from my experience it can work.

[Brill Weave]

I'm at a point where I don't want to "see how it goes" until we're at a point where we both really care about each other and then go "oh well we have this huge issue that we can't get over."

I appreciate people's perspectives, but has anyone made one of these relationships successful?

Is anyone here currently (or previously) been in a non-faith -> faith relationship?

My wife is extremely religious. I am not. She asked me once and tried to push. She never bothered me again when I explained after watching my father waste away to nothing due to cancer I firmly believe there is no higher power because to allow that to happen to someone is horrific and cruel. That being said I don't knock her or her beliefs, never have.

Don't be a dick towards her based on the belief system. However if she pushes it on you, or starts preaching you need to let her know that you respect her beliefs but they are her beliefs and not yours. My wife said that her biggest concern before we got married was religion. It can work and it only becomes an issue if you guys make it an issue.