2015 NFL Off-Season Thread: Fuck tom

[Dimmauk]

My theory?

He was four years old, and already kind of a jerk. He had a birthday party where he invited all the other kids at his preschool, but it was another, cooler kid's birthday, too. This kid was awesome, and everyone liked him-- he even invited NL, who went to this kid's party instead of his own. Pony rides, ice cream, flag football. NL's team of course won the football game, but only by cheating. Then he got bit by the pony. Since then, he's been a win-at-any-cost kind of guy, with a hatred of all things horses. He's on the fence about the Cowboys-- he hates them, because THEY aren't afraid of horses, and ride them like he wishes he could. But, secretly, he loves them-- possibly more than the Patriots. They are everything he wishes he could be: winning Super Bowls legitimately, an untainted legacy that stretches back decades over multiple quarterbacks and coaches.

[Mertron]

you all know the gronks will be playing against 4 blondes and their mom

[Rhyis.]

My theory?

He was four years old, and already kind of a jerk. He had a birthday party where he invited all the other kids at his preschool, but it was another, cooler kid's birthday, too. This kid was awesome, and everyone liked him-- he even invited NL, who went to this kid's party instead of his own. Pony rides, ice cream, flag football. NL's team of course won the football game, but only by cheating. Then he got bit by the pony. Since then, he's been a win-at-any-cost kind of guy, with a hatred of all things horses. He's on the fence about the Cowboys-- he hates them, because THEY aren't afraid of horses, and ride them like he wishes he could. But, secretly, he loves them-- possibly more than the Patriots. They are everything he wishes he could be: winning Super Bowls legitimately, an untainted legacy that stretches back decades over multiple quarterbacks and coaches.

[Aelfinn]

ohhh did NL actually get a time-out?

[Boyiee]

ohhh did NL actually get a time-out?

Yeah, a decent one. I've come to the conclusion that anyone from this thread that posts in the transgender thread is pretty much guaranteed a time out.

[Melena]

Hey, I've posted there plenty of times. I'm just not a complete dumb shit. I know what will get me a time out, and I don't do it.

[Boyiee]

The night is young!

[Dimmauk]

Yeah, a decent one. I've come to the conclusion that anyone from this thread that posts in the transgender thread is pretty much guaranteed a time out.

I'm guessing he downplayed Caitlyn Jenner's courage by saying Brady is more courageous for suing the NFL?

[Stumblingdrunk]

I'm guessing he downplayed Caitlyn Jenner's courage by saying Brady is more courageous for suing the NFL?

Close enough.

[Abandon]

darren mcfadden sidelined with injury at OTAs. well, that was quick

[Dimmauk]

Is his hamstring made out of real ham?

[Marootsoobutsu]

Is his hamstring made out of real ham?

No, it's made out of silly string.

[Melena]

I'm guessing he downplayed Caitlyn Jenner's courage by saying Brady is more courageous for suing the NFL?

Nah, just pissed that Caitlyn deflates her balls and gets praise and Brady gets crucified.

[Cail]

ohhh did NL actually get a time-out?

And Im just so upset about it

[Cail]

darren mcfadden sidelined with injury at OTAs. well, that was quick

kelvin benjamin hasnt participated yet either

[Anoat]

The Rams are cutting 6th round pick WR Bud Sasser due to a previously undiscovered heart condition. Sasser sought many physician's opinions, but could not find one who would medically clear him. Sasser will get to keep his rookie signing bonus of $113,000.

[Marootsoobutsu]

The Rams are cutting 6th round pick WR Bud Sasser due to a previously undiscovered heart condition. Sasser sought many physician's opinions, but could not find one who would medically clear him. Sasser will get to keep his rookie signing bonus of $113,000.

Sucks for the guy, good on the docs for not clearing him, and good on the Rams for not going after his signing bonus. Legit belief: if someone is unable to play in the NFL for medical reasons, and has been signed, the NFL should fund the remainder of their bonus, and not the team itself.

[Buffy]

That's a reasonable thought, but since Goddell is the devil, it's unlikely to occur.

[AidenCarby]

More importantly, the Broncos have imposed a fart tax. Most taxed player? Von Miller lol

[Headspace]

My theory?

He was four years old, and already kind of a jerk. He had a birthday party where he invited all the other kids at his preschool, but it was another, cooler kid's birthday, too. This kid was awesome, and everyone liked him-- he even invited NL, who went to this kid's party instead of his own. Pony rides, ice cream, flag football. NL's team of course won the football game, but only by cheating. Then he got bit by the pony. Since then, he's been a win-at-any-cost kind of guy, with a hatred of all things horses. He's on the fence about the Cowboys-- he hates them, because THEY aren't afraid of horses, and ride them like he wishes he could. But, secretly, he loves them-- possibly more than the Patriots. They are everything he wishes he could be: winning Super Bowls legitimately, an untainted legacy that stretches back decades over multiple quarterbacks and coaches.

A+