2015 NFL Off-Season Thread: Fuck tom

[Celeras]

http://harvardsportsanalysis.org/201...he-nfl-season/

TL:DR
Dolphins have third highest ELO, win AFC

JUST WAIT

You should have known something was up when this makes the AFC East look like a good division (#3, #5, #8 and #10).

[Krandor]

Ty for the "Why your team sucks" series Tyven. Been reading thru them all today and it's fucking awesome.

Remember: Jameis Winston threw 18 picks last year. Imagine sitting in a war room and saying to yourself, “Well, he threw 18 picks last year in an abominable conference. And he derped all over the Rose Bowl. And he stole crab legs. And he got suspended for doing the Tosh Serenade at the school cafeteria. And every other NFL fan will root for him to fail. And he may have raped a woman. And he couldn’t even show his face at the fucking draft because he knew he’d be booed for possibly raping a woman. LET’S TAKE HIM FIRST

Here is where I remind you that the Raiders’ original proposed stadium design included an eternal flame in memory of Al Davis, which seems redundant, given that Hell itself is ablaze 24/7. 

[Cail]

Panthers OT Jonathan Martin is retiring

[Cail]

Sources say that Giants, Osi Umenyiora are discussing a ceremonial one-day contract so he can retire a Giant.

[Cail]

NFL has upheld the Brady suspension

[jmc]

NFL has upheld the Brady suspension

As expected.

Looks like it's time for court.

[Melena]

Got my cup ready to drink the ninjalotter tears

[archibaldcrane]

Tom Fucked

[Krandor]

On or shortly before March 6, the day that Tom Brady met with independent investigator Ted Wells and his colleagues, Brady directed that the cell phone he had used for the prior four months be destroyed. He did so even though he was aware that the investigators had requested access to text messages and other electronic information that had been stored on that phone. During the four months that the cell phone was in use, Brady had exchanged nearly 10,000 text messages, none of which can now be retrieved from that device. The destruction of the cell phone was not disclosed until June 18, almost four months after the investigators had first sought electronic information from Brady.

Did Brady learn how to hide evidence from Hernandez?

[Mertron]

lol

fuck tom

[tyven]

fuck tom

[Dimmauk]

I've owned a lot of cell phones, and I've never purposely destroyed a phone for any reason. Tom = Fucked

[tyven]

I've owned a lot of cell phones, and I've never purposely destroyed a phone for any reason. Tom = Fucked

he does not have the gentle hands of a motorolan

[Abandon]

fuck tom

[Mertron]

my question is it says he "directed the cell phone be destroyed." couldn't he just do it himself? does he have an old school Nokia that would survive an atomic blast?

[Cail]

my question is it says he "directed the cell phone be destroyed." couldn't he just do it himself? does he have an old school Nokia that would survive an atomic blast?

Tom probably pays people to do such trivial things

Fuck tom

[Melena]

Can't wait to see ninjalotters spin on that. Doubt this will deflate his homerism though

[Mertron]

Tom probably pays people to do such trivial things

Fuck tom

hey can someone deflate this phone for me?

[Dimmauk]

he does not have the gentle hands of a motorolan

Whoa, how did you know I was once a Motorolan? Not many can pass that test.

[archibaldcrane]

They just nicknamed his assistant "the phone destroyer" because he talks on the phone while taking devastating shits