Rest in Peace, Rachel (aka hey)

[archibaldcrane]

Article implied she went to 4chan for help... Why??

I don't think she was there for help - just like she didn't post here for help. She was into videogames and the internet - just like all of us here are.

[AoE]

To bring this a bit closer to home. Did some Facebook stalking and eventually found her mom's page and one of her posts said she didn't mind having information shared so here's a post from her regarding Rachel's death. Also another post pretty much alludes that nobody atleast in her family knew she identified as Transgender until last year but the fact that hey has pictures posted before last year (at least I think they do) just kinda shows how awesome her mom was by accepting her for how she chose to express herself. I couldn't even begin to imagine how hey's mom feels right now.

As I read through so many comments it's clear no one knows what to say and that's ok. I'm not sure there's much that could take this pain from us but knowing so many care and took the time to say so does mean a lot.

The loss of a child is the most unimaginable kind of pain that only those who've experienced it could understand. It doesn't compare to losing friends or parents or anyone else. It's the kind of thing that destroys you, breaks you into a million pieces that can never fully be put back together. People keep telling me to be strong, but I don't even know what that means. There's no strength. Only emptiness and heartache.

A lot of people have asked what happened so I'll answer that here. On Thursday, Rachel went into NYC. She walked across the George Washington bridge and jumped. As of right now, they haven't yet recovered her body so that's all the info I have on it. Once they do, we will be able to make funeral arrangements and I'll post them.

People keep asking me why. From what we've pieced together from her online friends, the main reason was pain. Rachel suffered from some health problems that cause daily debilitating pain, the same ones that her sister and me have. She felt it was just too difficult for her to live with it any longer.

There is also some confusion as to who Rachel is. Many of you knew her as Roger, the name she was given at birth. Recently, Rachel came out as transgender and started using her new name to fit who she truly was. To us, she seemed so much happier. Being able to live as the person she always knew she was gave her a small bit of happiness amidst the daily struggle with her own body. So regardless of the name, she was our daughter.

Everyone keeps asking me if there's anything they can do and honestly I don't know what to say. I don't know what I need right now. The love and support are a comfort. But past that, I'm not even sure. There's probably no wrong answer except to tell me she is better off because she isn't in pain anymore. Please don't say that to me. I'm holding on by a thread here and that is the one thing that will snap it.

It doesn't matter if you don't know what to do or say. Just say that. If you have children, even grown ones, hug them tight. Realize how short life is and stop worrying about all those little things that don't matter. Tell the people you care about how you feel now. And most of all, if someone tells you they are going to kill themselves, DO SOMETHING. Don't accept their decision. Don't give up because you couldn't talk them out of it. Don't think you can't do anything because they're an online friend and you don't know how to help.

Thank you all for being here for me and my family. Even if we don't respond, we are reading all the posts, messages, tweets, and other kind words and they mean a lot.

Lisa, Roger, Sandra, Tony, and Jenny

[Aksannyi]

I saw that. Was wondering if they reached out to you or if you had posted the screencap elsewhere. Seems they just took it.

They did reach out to me on Twitter but I was out today and didn't see it until I got home. Would have been nice if he'd asked but whatever, I posted it publicly on BG so no use hiding it at this point. He obviously also spoke with her mom so I'm assuming the okay was given.

[Hitoshura]

I didn't see that, now im curious but its likely the predictable hate and stupidity.

[archibaldcrane]

Her mom sounds like a cool lady.

[Aksannyi]

I started following her on Twitter after this happened. She does seem like a wonderful person and I'm so glad Rachel was accepted for who she was, because so many parents don't get that. I wasn't sure exactly what the family situation was or if I would be able to find any info under her name because so many trans people's identities are erased when they die.

[Kuya]

I kinda guessed her mom was cool with it when i saw her using the name Rachel and referring to hey as a she.

[Lucavi]

Hey's mother needs the world to become a bit less shitty. That would help prevent nonsense like this in the future. The whole situation sucks.

[Hitoshura]

Wow kotaku actually dedicated an article to her.

http://kotaku.com/nintendo-emulator-...way-1700484468

I guess this means i wont be putting them down as much. (Unless they deserve it )

Before this threads inception, i didn't know she helped out with one of the best emulators out there.

[tyven]

pretty cool that she touched so many people and was a valued part of multiple communities, i only knew her from youtube comments section and generally from being on the opposite side of an opinion. Glad she was so much more to so many others. That's kind of a shitty thing to say but whatever

[Astylla]

I know I didn't know her well but I've been pretty shaken up by this and at a loss. I have several local transgender friends from different walks of life and it hits especially hard through it all. I just feel numb from it and just because I didn't have personal extended interactions with an individual doesn't take away the fact she felt this was the only thing to do. I'm sincerely saddened by these events and my thoughts are with family and friends closest to her.

[Raldo]

Did hey ever mention that "daily debilitating pain" her mom mentioned? I won't claim to know shit about anything being trans, but I know a fair amount about constant pain, so I'm mildly curious what that condition might've been.

[Tymon]

There are a few possibilities since it seems to be genetic.

Rheumatoid arthritis, Crohns' disease, etc.

[Tyrath]

Did hey ever mention that "daily debilitating pain" her mom mentioned? I won't claim to know shit about anything being trans, but I know a fair amount about constant pain, so I'm mildly curious what that condition might've been.

One of the articles said Rheumatoid arthritis.

Only knew her in passing, but it sucks that she never got the help she needed. Feel terrible for her family. RIP

[vagus]

I thought hey was doing well. Sad to hear that she took her life. Hopefully she is happier now. Sorry for your loss Aki.

R.I.P. Lady.

[Senji]

Did hey ever mention that "daily debilitating pain" her mom mentioned? I won't claim to know shit about anything being trans, but I know a fair amount about constant pain, so I'm mildly curious what that condition might've been.

I think she mentioned it once or twice vaguely a few years ago. I don't get to even read as many threads as Id like anymore, but I remember when Hey joined and it was anyways fun or interesting when she posted from day 1. RIP

[Stumblingdrunk]

I knew she had only been on hrt for a short time but I didn't realize that she had only been out for a short time as well.

[Andalusian girls]

good night sweet hey, and flights of angels sing thee to thy rest

[Oreth]

RIP hey...

Dont believe we ever directly communicated but very sad for the community none the less. Condolences to family and friends and those here on BG that will be affected the most!

[Odin'sLaw]

Rest in peace Hey, she never seemed down on here but the internet is truly a mask for us all, rest well chick