How to start a conversation when online dating?

[The Stig]

I believe Yuri's a guy though.

you sure you're not saying that you have the nicest prick they'll ever meet? because that would work pretty well I imagine.

Nah I don't want to cause trouble haha

[Ratatapa]

Hi Sorry for the bump but i'm looking for advice, first of all, I havn't dated in years, so i'm kinda out of the loop

Anyway i've met this girl online, and after talking for about a week on lolfacebook, we decided to meet. Everything went perfect and we both enjoyed our evening, we both had something to do during the weekend, but we exchanged numbers and I started to text her, and she answers no problem, said she had fun and she want to meet again.

The issue i'm having is that, it feels that I always need to start the conversation, for each conversation on text or lolfacebook I was the one to initiate the conversation, so I decided today not to text her, see if she would text me, and i'm getting no text at all. So my questions are

1) the "I'm waiting for you to text me first" is it a bit playing with fire?
2) If it is playing with fire, how do i tell her politely that I want her to start conversations more on text or w/e?

I'm mostly scared that if I'm the only one starting conversation, that I would look like an annoying or desesperate guy. I really want to talk to her more and i'm sure it's the same thing for her, but I just don't know how to approach this.


Hoping for some serious advice thanks!!

[The Stig]

Before we help, the general rule here is post a pic first haha...

But...

I guess try to keep texts/online conversation to minimal if you've both met up and got along. It may be possible that you've pet a person that doesn't know how to converse online properly (like we do here or at BGChat). Depends how much she stares at her phone/uses e-mail or facebook etc. There's a subset of people that constantly check, comment, like, and all that social pollution bullshit, if she doesn't belong in any of those categories it's possible she's not as savvy as chatting online.

[Ratatapa]

If it can help she kinda answers about 5-10 min after my initial text, the she answers a bit faster

She did say she's not tech savyy.

[Ratatapa]

Contrary to my big attitude here, I'm really insecure. Due to our work we won't be able to meet except during weekends for a bit.

So I just feel that if I don't text her I'd never get news from her. Since she's not phone savvy.

But I'd the same time I don't wanna feel annoying my texting her always

[The Stig]

Right in that case, presuming you both have iPhones or an iDevice... it's FaceTime. Or skype. Or a simple phone call. Yup, you're going to make that commitment.

However, make it optional. You don't want to do your scheduled daily call to her only to find there's not much to say. At the same time try to make meaningful conversations. Personally I'd get sick of any interaction if she calls/messages me everyday asking how I am.

Also nevermind your attitude, we all behave differently on/offline.

But yeh tread lightly, see what it can do/go. Other people might have better opinions.

[tyven]

Contrary to my big attitude here, I'm really insecure. Due to our work we won't be able to meet except during weekends for a bit.

So I just feel that if I don't text her I'd never get news from her. Since she's not phone savvy.

But I'd the same time I don't wanna feel annoying my texting her always

its 2015 dude. toddlers are phone savvy. if she isn't going out of her way to reach out to you it means she doesnt want to. but if she wants to hang out with you again irl maybe she will start wanting to.

[Wulfgang]

I am generally initiating at the start and often take the lead with setting up plans, etc. as we progress, but I understand the angst. Within a few weeks at the outside, you should be receiving at least some unsolicited texts (e.g. Hey, what are you up to tomorrow night? Can we go see Inside Out sometime? etc.). Believe you're reading into it a bit too much though; just relax and only text her when you have something interesting to say (no "How was your day?" on a random weekday if you've had like two dates). I would just text her the next time you want to make plans to meet, but otherwise chill.

[Meresgi]

^ What Wulf said. Don't read too much into it, just be chill. Talk to her when you have something interesting to chat about or plans to hang out, but don't get into the swing of "How was your day" because it will get boring. Need to be interesting and women usually find men that seem busy to be very interesting (If you're not texting her non stop during a weekday/weekend or you at least wait 15-30mins to reply back).

[vagus]

Constant chatter box is annoying unless both of you are like that. Just relax, text when you can. And make plans for things you both are interested in. A long conversation over the phone is so old school, especially when you can just go for coffee.

[Ratatapa]

Well since our movie idea went splat Friday, she asked me if we could go again Friday

there might be hope

[Zetanio]

Can we start a new post to put up funny Tinder moments? I don't want to shit up this thread with my odd encounters in online tomfoolery (or attempted tomfoolery)

This chick messaged me today and her profile was the WASPiest thing I've ever read. I'm tempted to go after it just to see if she knows any Kennedy's.

Rata, does this girl know you like hockey? Canadian chicks fucking love hockey.

[The Stig]

Well since our movie idea went splat Friday, she asked me if we could go again Friday

there might be hope

You mean this Friday or last Friday?

If she says no but doesn't offer a counter date, then yeh that's somewhat bad.
If she says no but suggests a counter date then that's always a good sign of interest.

[Ratatapa]

You mean this Friday or last Friday?

If she says no but doesn't offer a counter date, then yeh that's somewhat bad.
If she says no but suggests a counter date then that's always a good sign of interest.

We met up last Friday the 25 just for a coffee at first, and ended up staying up going different places. We wanted to go to the movies but we arrived too late. ( that's what I meant by splat).

So after I made the posts here she sent me a message asking me if I wanted to meet her again since we couldn't go see a move last Friday.

But since we both work hard this week we don't have disponiblities till this coming Friday

[Fondue]

Time to hit her with the watch-me-play-destiny and chill

[Ratatapa]

You should give me tips

[Fondue]

Tell her you're the most notorious early hunt puller on 3 servers

[Ratatapa]

In a more serious note, I hope this will work out

[Fondue]

Where did you meet her online? Are you the only guy she's talking to atm? It sounds like you are doing ok if you've already met her and made more plans

Just don't be your usual self and you'll be fine

[arus2001]

Had a girl that freaked out when I wasn't trying to get ahold of her daily since we lived a few towns apart, sometimes multiple times. Dropped her quick. Despite my occasional internet verbosity, I'm pretty quiet IRL. Such clinginess isn't something I want out of a partner.

That said, next time together, just bring up sometimes that you might get too busy with work or whatever and may lose touch for a couple days. Since it sounds like she's the busy type, herself, I get the vibe it won't entirely bug her. And if she initiated this time around with the second outing, might not be anything to worry about overall. I know tech has poisoned the perception of how people are supposed to interact at times, but humanity did manage to survive without social media, telephones, or even regular mail service.