Need some advice, BG

[Cream Soda]

Hey now lol I did say exit, but I did say to contact someone else who can help him first (just not to get personally involved)

[Greatguardian]

Addendum: It's probably worth mentioning that I wouldn't actually call the parent before the police. Parents are not professionals. They may want to handle things themselves and may want to insist that things aren't as bad as they seem, but they're not the ones getting texts about suicide. Calling to warn them that you're about to send cops to their house may just put them on the defensive and have them ready to repel the unis at the front door.

Let the cops handle the parents. It's their job.

[D44kpunk]

I'd ignore it, but I'm a dick and mostly of the opinion that if you're really going to kill yourself you do it and not take out a billboard advertisement.

Sucks to have to deal with, but also not like there's actually anything you can do about it. If he is sincere and you get his parents involved he's just going to lie and then not tell you next time.

Maybe I'm cynical.

as someone who was depressed/suicidal this was the only correct answer for me.

you can contact the parents if you like but it's unlikely that that will result in a positive outcome. wanting to live is a decision one has to make on their own imo

[dasva]

as someone who was depressed/suicidal this is the only correct answer.

you can contact the parents if you like but it's unlikely that that will result in a positive outcome. wanting to live is a decision one has to make on their own imo

Technically all your choices are your own decisions. But many things including people can influence them. That said the same people you are around when you are like that aren't the likeliest to effect a change in you unless they themselves greatly change how they interact and that can go either especially if said people might be part of the cause which it kind of sounds like in this case.

[D44kpunk]

Technically all your choices are your own decisions. But many things including people can influence them. That said the same people you are around when you are like that aren't the likeliest to effect a change in you unless they themselves greatly change how they interact and that can go either especially if said people might be part of the cause which it kind of sounds like in this case.

well obviously, i was just agreeing with the sentiment that if someone is going to kill themselves they'll find a way to do it

[EternityEnd]

I wasn't able to get his parents' number, but I was able to contact them via email, and sent them a long message.

Hopefully things go okay. :\

[Darlantan]

Did you try the police welfare thing? And yeah, hope the outcome is good, the guy is safe and you can resume your life, OP.

I have had two of the situations, a friend that took his life out of nowhere, and another one that just talks about it and kind of threatens he may do it, but nothing happens and it just seems like attention seeking.

[EternityEnd]

I didn't end up doing the welfare check, because I was already in contact with his younger brother at that point this afternoon, and he was asking his parents how they wanted to get in contact with me.

Didn't figure it would look good for police to show up during or after me contacting them. And I honestly just didn't feel comfortable doing that, potentially antagonizing anyone when I knew he was safe for the time being.

Sent his mother a long, heartfelt email. She's just gotten back to me, and was very gracious and frank about being a former alcoholic herself, and how they have everything under control and are watching him 24/7.

She also gave me a more interesting timeline -- that he's already been ruled out for the military because he's had multiple doctors formally diagnose him with various mental health disorders, and his father has also already talked with him like I thought he should, about how the military wouldn't be right for him.

Ultimately, gotta go with my initial conclusion that he was emotionally blackmailing me into responding, so he could hurt me by freezing me out under threat of suicide, because his military story was bullshit. Maybe he was drunk at the time. Who knows or cares. Also got informed by his brother that he's recently seeing some jailbait girl who brings him alcohol, so that unintentional blow annoyed me. Only his actions matter, and they're pretty intolerable.

I'm done worrying for now, thankfully, after talking to his mom. Rest assured, I won't allow him back into my life after this.

Seriously appreciate all the responses in this thread. I wasn't prepared to be dealing with this all of a sudden, but most of my instincts were spot on. I think I behaved as responsibly and appropriately as I could, and have generally gone above and beyond the call of duty as a friend.

Done contacting and being hurt by this dude. Things are looking up already.

[FNH]

Give him the suicide helpline they are better equipped to help him

[Cream Soda]

Give him the suicide helpline they are better equipped to help him

Assuming he's even willing to call them

[FNH]

He called op or made mention to him, he might. If not then there wasn't any help to give anyway

[Silenka]

When someone is sick you send them to a doctor. When someone is mentally disturbed they need a doctor for the mind. Unfortunately, while most people seek out help by themselves for the former, most people are likewise too embarrassed/uninformed/stubborn/damaged to do so for the latter. Dude needs mental help, so authorities need to be called for him, whether by you or his parents.

The worst part is when mentally ill people start lashing out at those around them to satiate a need for attention. That's the victim you never, ever want to be because you can't know the extent of the ill person's restraint. That's why it's necessary for professionals to handle this sort of thing, and for you to try to drop off the radar as much as possible if you sense that he might try to cry out for attention by abusing you rather than solely himself.

[edit] somehow missed OP's last post. Good to hear a solution was found, at least for now

[kuronosan]

You did the right thing.

sent from the nexus of the emergency department using my AstralTalk™