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  1. #1
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    AA, Substance Abuse and all other related discussion

    Quote Originally Posted by Salodin View Post
    Drug detox, not body cleanse detox lol. You can die from it, but god damn you gotta be pretty fucked up already for that to happen.

    Sent from my SAMSUNG-SM-G935A using Tapatalk
    Quitting drinking for a heavy drinker means DTs, wich have a 20% mortality rate. I'm honestly in the same boat. I've wanted to quit for a while now, but I'm faced with the decision of eventual heart failure or rolling the dice and getting lucky. Doesn't help that I already have heart attack symptoms at the age of 36.

    Quote Originally Posted by Kalmado View Post
    After some talk in the celebrity death thread following the passing of Nelsan Ellis, it was suggested a thread be made where we can discuss alcoholism, substance abuse, or anything else related.

    This is a sensitive serious subject and we all should treat each other with the utmost respect. Everyone has a story and we should encourage each other here.

    Do to the nature of the thread we will be modding it heavily. Don't be a shithead to people coming to vent and/or looking for help.-BG MOD TEAM

  2. #2
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    Quote Originally Posted by Cyn View Post
    Quitting drinking for a heavy drinker means DTs, wich have a 20% mortality rate. I'm honestly in the same boat. I've wanted to quit for a while now, but I'm faced with the decision of eventual heart failure or rolling the dice and getting lucky. Doesn't help that I already have heart attack symptoms at the age of 36.
    Have you visited a doctor for help? I'm just a heavy craft beer drinker (8.5% or above. 5-8 beers a night) but my doctor told me it's going to take weeks to get down. Mentally I'm ready and focused. I was told I have to do 5 a night for like, a week or more. Then 4. Then 3, etc. Sucks because many nights I don't even want to drink but physically my body says no nights off. To help with this I was prescribed Buspar which is supposed to help with the anxiety my body feels. Get some advice from professionals and be optimistic!

  3. #3
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kalmado View Post
    Have you visited a doctor for help? I'm just a heavy craft beer drinker (8.5% or above. 5-8 beers a night) but my doctor told me it's going to take weeks to get down. Mentally I'm ready and focused. I was told I have to do 5 a night for like, a week or more. Then 4. Then 3, etc. Sucks because many nights I don't even want to drink but physically my body says no nights off. To help with this I was prescribed Buspar which is supposed to help with the anxiety my body feels. Get some advice from professionals and be optimistic!
    I guess this is now open forum on this topic soooo....

    I was close to that. Moreso fancy craft cocktails though. At my peak I was up to 3-4 a night, every night. About 2-3oz each of 40% stuff per. I always give up alcohol for lent and this year I basically did like a light detox because of it. It sucked hard. I can't imagine doing a worse one. I started back after lent for no real reason other than my friends had concoctions that sounded delicious. Got heavy on it again, and am now realizing I need to quit this shit, or at least severely limit it. I'm down to 1 every day or 2 which makes me at least not hate myself every morning when I wake up for work.

    The good news is that if you go a whole week without a drink and make it then it's easy street. You wake up every day feeling great, and 'the thirst' leaves you after about 1.5-2 weeks. At that point you'll always want one, sadly that never goes away, but you won't feel like you need one and it's so much easier to say no.

    Also, if you need something tasty that isn't alcohol, make lemonade or limeade but change the syrup for various infused homemade sugar syrups (ginger, and coriander + pepper are both solid). They are quite nice and keep you sipping on something not completely bad for you.

  4. #4
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    I know for myself it's not a hereditary thing or I don't feel I have a disease. I did it to myself 1 1/2 years ago because I was in a real bad place mentally and was basically self medicating. And now that I'm in a great place I just can't shake it physically and since I'm in my mid 30's I felt it best to get professional advice because I had read things like what happened with Nelsan Ellis. I too had a group where we'd talk about a new stout or barleywine that one of us tried and then we'd get it. I even had a 16.5% Pumpkin ale and an 18% stout (separate occasions) that I only felt slightly buzzed. That's when I knew I had a problem.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Kalmado View Post
    I know for myself it's not a hereditary thing or I don't feel I have a disease. I did it to myself 1 1/2 years ago because I was in a real bad place mentally and was basically self medicating. And now that I'm in a great place I just can't shake it physically and since I'm in my mid 30's I felt it best to get professional advice because I had read things like what happened with Nelsan Ellis. I too had a group where we'd talk about a new stout or barleywine that one of us tried and then we'd get it. I even had a 16.5% Pumpkin ale and an 18% stout (separate occasions) that I only felt slightly buzzed. That's when I knew I had a problem.
    The worst part for me is in my backstop now I have like 10 abyss from like 2013-now and 3 parabolas and such, and part of me wants to say 'I can just have one of these every six months split between friends' but the other part of me knows it's just going to open a door to 'well one more won't hurt.' Resisting the first drink of the night is far easier than resisting the second.

  6. #6
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    Celebrity Death Thread 2017: The sequel to 2016: Reaper of the year!

    I'm in the same boat. The last 2~3 years I've been pretty much getting black out drunk just to go to bed. It wasn't until recently I've gone to get help. I'm only 32 and still in relatively great shape, but I've gone on binges for weeks at a time where if I don't have a drink by a certain time the next day I start having colossal withdrawal symptoms. I've flat out volunteered multiple times to be deployed back to anywhere in the Middle East just to get me away from alcohol.


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  7. #7
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kalmado View Post
    Have you visited a doctor for help? I'm just a heavy craft beer drinker (8.5% or above. 5-8 beers a night) but my doctor told me it's going to take weeks to get down. Mentally I'm ready and focused. I was told I have to do 5 a night for like, a week or more. Then 4. Then 3, etc. Sucks because many nights I don't even want to drink but physically my body says no nights off. To help with this I was prescribed Buspar which is supposed to help with the anxiety my body feels. Get some advice from professionals and be optimistic!
    I can't afford a doctor (no insurance). Ironically, I probably could if I didn't drink. My problem is... a bit more severe. I drink about a fifth of whisky a night. I keep it somewhat under control by setting limits like no alcohol before 8pm, and making sure I'm 100% sober for work, but the last time I tried to quit cold turkey I started having seizures and insane night terrors that literally woke me up screaming. I'm looking at options like lithium or the Sullivan method, because I honestly don't think I'll see 40 if I can't shake this fucked up habit. I'm sort of leaning towards lithium, because even before I started drinking in my late 20s, I already had severe apnea and RLS that prevented me from sleeping more than 3 or so hours a night.

  8. #8
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    We need a BG AA subforum.... It's honestly nice to be able to admit publicly what is going on with some anonimity.

  9. #9
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    Quote Originally Posted by Cyn View Post
    We need a BG AA subforum.... It's honestly nice to be able to admit publicly what is going on with some anonimity.
    A+ to this idea. Or at least it's own thread.

    Also, have you tried slowly lowering the amount of alcohol to down every night like Kalmado mentioned?

  10. #10
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    I have. The problem with that is that at this point, willpower fades quickly after I start drinking.

  11. #11
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    AA, Substance Abuse and all other related discussion

    Addiction is a very tricky subject on its own let alone this community but I think it's important none the less.

    I admit I was/am a food addict along with social alcoholism. Funny enough the reasons for both went hand in hand as I used both as coping mechanisms for abuse/bullying and home life shit.

    I struggled with my weight most of my life especially as a teenager on due to multiple reasons but really my mistake was not taking responsibility for my own actions. Only in the last two years when I hit my worst did I see how serious it could be.
    The same was with alcohol though for severely worse once my mom died unexpectedly in 2005. I was never a daily drinker until she died- I was living in another state and in a dead end relationship that I refused to leave out of fear of being alone but found out a year later being alone isn't the worst thing to be. I remember getting absolutely wasted during a Memorial Day party at my then boyfriend's house, as I was doing shots of Jager in the kitchen I recall falling down and him making a comment to me about how my mom wouldn't be proud of me. I've never had so much adrenaline kick in and I do remember slapping him in the face for that , as he never met her and I was furious.
    I was so mad because he was right though and that was probably the point I realized this was taking over my life.

    I'm now a social drinker but can let myself get out of hand I admit but try not to , I just tend to be the one that will always try and "keep up" with everyone else. I know my limits now but it can still be tough.

  12. #12
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    I partied a lot when I was in my late teens. I never felt attractive enough so I used alcohol as a way to have that liquid courage. In my early 20's I continued to party a ton as the club scene in metro Detroit and especially Windsor Canada was bananas. My crew were going out 5 nights a week. One night I met a girl whom I would call my girlfriend for the next 4 1/2 years. After meeting her I only drank at social gatherings. Between work, school, and everything else I didn't care about drinking. Then, literally out of nowhere (we had talked about marriage a few weeks prior) we broke up. In an angry bad place (in mind) I decided to move to Sarasota, Florida because my mother lived there and I knew I could move with low bills for a bit. I picked up partying for a bit but I received a DUI for (no lie) being drunk while parked. I moved back to Michigan and began a new job. I also met my now wife. I never drank too much, but in 2015 we moved and I was alone a ton. I already have anxiety (doctor diagnosed) and a mixture of terrible jobs at the time plus not having a single friend to spend time with led me to drinking constantly.

    Now, in 2017, we're back in our house and I have a job I really enjoy. The hard part is the dependency on alcohol. I can do 5-8 craft beers (8.5-12%) with ease. Mentally I'm ready to be done with it but physically I'm not. My doctor told me it's going to be a LONG process where I need to VERY SLOWLY wean myself off of alcohol. 5 beers for many weeks. Then four. Then three. You get it. I did one night without anything and the next day at around 10:00AM I had that big ball in my throat and I was borderline panicking. My doctors are pretty awesome and they gave me a prescription to help with that. So now I'm trying to slowly wean off this crap.

    As said in the celebrity death thread, there are more than a few here on BG that want to talk about this subject. I'm here for anyone and am more than happy to message, talk on discord, etc. Everyone needs help (myself included) and sometimes we need a shoulder to lean on.

  13. #13
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    I've been struggling with alcohol for a while. It started when I was working as a chef. It's basically part of the lifestyle. The best way I've ever heard it put was "you live like a rock star but without the pay." After work we closed out the bars every night. After I left that I moved cross country and my new roommate was an old friend that also used to work in restaurants, so we partied all the time. Basically for me it wasn't a major catalyst or life event, it just got worse over time. It was exasperated because I still have a passion for food, and well, a good drink tastes good.

    I honestly don't think I'll ever completely quit, partly because I don't want to. I do however want to get it under control, and I am getting much better about it. I've gone from months of 3+ fancy cocktails (read - ones that will fuck you up not just some college day rum and coke stuff) every night to, mostly having one drink a night usually with dinner. I still slip too often for me to be ok with it though, about once a week.

    Ideally, in time, I'll reduce it down to one drink once or two nights a week. It will take time though. Maybe this thread will help.

  14. #14
    I'm more gentle than I look.
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    I'm pretty sure Keith thinks I should be in here, lol.

    That aside; I have 2 conflicting bad habits, so they kinda keep each other in check. I love drinking, but I also have severe image issues. It keeps my drinking in check to the point I don't gain too much weight off of it. Then when I do reach that point, I go cold turkey for 4-6 weeks, crash diet, 7 days cardio a week. Then when my body can't take it anymore and I'm no longer restricting calories, the drinks come back.

    That said, I do drink a lot, but it's never interfered with anything. I've never called out or been late to work, went back on a promise, etc. I generally do what I have to do in the day, do my workout, then when I have nothing else to do, then I drink.

    Coupled w/ my struggle w/ sleeping, it takes my 3-4 hrs a night average sleep and turns it into 5-8 hrs, so there's a plus at least, assuming I drink myself to sleep

  15. #15
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    I don't abuse it, but I very much have a dependency on my Loperamide. It's an opiate. If I miss 2 doses in a row I get the shakes, feel feverish. Plus, yknow, diarrhea. Or constipation, oddly enough, depending on how well I was feeling.

    I'm at a very reasonable clinical dose, so I can only imagine how rough it must be when actually at abuse levels.

  16. #16
    You wouldn't know that though because you've demonstrably never picked up a book nor educated yourself on the matter. Let me guess, overweight housewife?
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    Just FYI, do to the nature of the thread we will be modding it heavily. Don't be a shithead to people coming to vent and/or looking for help.

  17. #17
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    Small win last night? I dunno. I told myself I was only going to have one drink, of course made a second, but half way through the second just asked myself why and poured the rest out and had a few glasses of water.

  18. #18
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    Quote Originally Posted by Daydreamer View Post
    Small win last night? I dunno. I told myself I was only going to have one drink, of course made a second, but half way through the second just asked myself why and poured the rest out and had a few glasses of water.
    That's awesome! Small wins eventually lead to a big win so keep at it!

  19. #19
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    Quote Originally Posted by Cream Soda View Post
    I'm pretty sure Keith thinks I should be in here, lol.

    That aside; I have 2 conflicting bad habits, so they kinda keep each other in check. I love drinking, but I also have severe image issues. It keeps my drinking in check to the point I don't gain too much weight off of it. Then when I do reach that point, I go cold turkey for 4-6 weeks, crash diet, 7 days cardio a week. Then when my body can't take it anymore and I'm no longer restricting calories, the drinks come back.

    That said, I do drink a lot, but it's never interfered with anything. I've never called out or been late to work, went back on a promise, etc. I generally do what I have to do in the day, do my workout, then when I have nothing else to do, then I drink.

    Coupled w/ my struggle w/ sleeping, it takes my 3-4 hrs a night average sleep and turns it into 5-8 hrs, so there's a plus at least, assuming I drink myself to sleep
    This isn't a good attitude to have, but I know you've said in past threads that you don't feel you're really an alcoholic.

    You're becoming dependent on alcohol to fall asleep and you drink a ridiculous amount of alcohol when you do. Going cold turkey, as stated in the other thread, can be terrible for your body as it tries to ween itself off the dependency. You're in good shape now, but that doesn't mean you won't reach a point where your dependency on alcohol trumps your personal image issues. Nobody goes out and decides that they want to be an alcoholic or similar. It's something that happens because you become physically and mentally dependent on the substance.



    My mom was an alcoholic. She started drinking when I was 12/13 because my grandfather's health took a dip. On top of that she had a stressful job, she was in charge of coordinating and moving Fuji Film's USA HQs in Westchester, NY. She was the purchasing director for the HQ, she had to find, price, and buy everything from carpets and painters to office supplies in bulk for not only the HQ but satellite offices in the area. Between the two she started drinking at night to de-stress and get to sleep.

    It got worse as I got older, including screaming at me and my brother for nonsensical things, pinning me to a couch or wall, telling my dad that I was attacking her or hitting her, picking me and friends up from school/practice drunk, etc. Eventually that turns into her being drunk all day, every day, multiple stints in rehab facilities, AA meetings 3-4 times a week, blaming me, my dad, my brother, and everyone except herself. Her friends wanted to do an intervention, my family thought that would send her in to another spiral. Her doctors were telling her that she had to stop for years or she wouldn't live passed her late 50s.

    She died a few years ago from kidney and liver failure. She was brought into the hospital after she stopped drinking for a few days, somehow made it back to my dad's from her house in South Carolina, and collapsed on the floor. She was in the hospital for Mother's Day and her 55th birthday and died two weeks later in a hospice center. All she kept saying when she was conscious was "I want to go home." My dad was advised by her cousin, who had been close to her their entire lives and was also a nurse with NYU neurology, that he shouldn't bring her back to his house with my little brother still there. It would be terrible for him to watch her physical decline and all the symptoms she had as her kidneys and liver failed.

    Eventually she wasn't waking up anymore. They had one of those nose oxygen tubes on her so she could breathe properly as she lay in bed motionless. I went to see her every day after work whether she was in the hospital or the hospice center. One morning I was at work and got a text. I thought it was probably from my wife, and I was in the middle of doing some work for the owner, so I ignored it and kept doing my work. At about 11am I got a called from my dad. He asked how I was doing, and I answered in my best cheery voice that I was doing okay. He started apologizing for sending me a text earlier when it clicked that my mom had passed. It took him 2-3 hours to work himself down to the point he could even call me. My wife and I left work and headed to his house.

    It was Memorial Day weekend and we were supposed to go away, but I ended up staying with my dad as he packed up the house because they were in the middle of selling it when my mom went into the hospital. My dad asked the sellers to let him out of the contract so that he would be able to handle the stuff with my mom in the hospital, but the buyers refused. I spent the weekend and the following week packing the house where I grew up with my dad, including all of the things my mom had left behind.

    I know everyone has their own views on things, and the way you view the situation is different from the way your friends and family see it. My goal with sharing my side of the story was to try to give you guys another perspective on what it does to those around you. If you wanted to ask me questions about what she, myself, or my family went through with her alcoholism I can try to answer some questions. You guys are all young compared to when my mom started drinking. If any of you have or plan on having kids, think about them and your spouses and what this will do to them.

    EDIT: Reread my post and thought of a couple big events in our lives that she missed.

    My brother's HS graduation
    My brother's college graduation
    My wife and I's engagement
    My wife and I's wedding
    She'll never know her grandkids (when my wife and I or my brother have kids) and they'll never know her

  20. #20
    I'm more gentle than I look.
    Mr. Feathers AKA Mr. Striations
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    Sorry to read about your mom. Sounds like a tough story. Only real thing I can offer to that is that while I may be underestimating the alcohol, others are underestimating my image issues. I had one point where I was considering offing myself and the only reason I ended up not doing it is because I didn't want to look like shit being dead at over 10% body fat @_@; told myself I'd consider it if I ended up feeling the same way after I lost 15 lbs.

    On the other side of it, I don't have any dependents or anyone I'm particularly close with. If I had a wife (doubtful to ever happen, lulz) or kids (lol getting snipped next month, so yeah) or something, yeah, I can see that being a completely different deal.

    As far as the sleep goes, it's not that I need alcohol to fall asleep (as if I were sleeping fine w/o it then started needing it to fall asleep). I've had trouble sleeping for the last 4-5 years now. My average sleep per night was 4hrs, usually floated in the 3.5-4 range, and lucky to get 5. The alcohol has made no changes to that. When I'm sober (like right now, can't drink for another 3 weeks lol), it stays in that range. It doesn't become harder to fall asleep than it was 4 years ago (only been drinking for 2) after drinking and stopping. The issue is consistent regardless of the times I do drink.

    Though I tend to try to keep it to social. My only real rule is that I don't go out and buy alcohol for myself. If we party here and there's leftovers, then yeah I pick at that each night until it's gone, but if I'm by myself, I refuse to go to the liquor store and get a bottle for one

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