Hollywood: Sexual assault whack-a-mole

[zoobernut]

I am sitting over here feeling weird as the child of parents 22 years apart. 18 and 40 when they met. Married for 25+ years. Divorced but still very good friends and visit with each other regularly. This is such an odd subject for me because on a personal level it feels very different from how it feels on a larger level of what should be acceptable.

Edit: Honestly the hardest thing for me is being the child of a father who is on the older side. I feel so bad for those celebrity kids whose dads are 60+ years old when they are born. Being only 40 and having to deal with my 89 year old dad, dementia, and care, and all the other stuff that comes with advanced age is really tough. My main wish is that I had more experiences of my dad when he was younger. I also wish my kids got to experience him more when he was younger and able to do things with them.

[archibaldcrane]

If it makes you feel any better this type of stuff was more socially acceptable 35 years ago, teen pregnancy was much more common, etc.

[6souls]

[Milkster]

I mean from the trial we knew he was fucked up in the head. But the way they worded this is weird. He and Amber got divorced when she was 31.

[synistar]

I am sitting over here feeling weird as the child of parents 22 years apart. 18 and 40 when they met. Married for 25+ years. Divorced but still very good friends and visit with each other regularly. This is such an odd subject for me because on a personal level it feels very different from how it feels on a larger level of what should be acceptable.

Edit: Honestly the hardest thing for me is being the child of a father who is on the older side. I feel so bad for those celebrity kids whose dads are 60+ years old when they are born. Being only 40 and having to deal with my 89 year old dad, dementia, and care, and all the other stuff that comes with advanced age is really tough. My main wish is that I had more experiences of my dad when he was younger. I also wish my kids got to experience him more when he was younger and able to do things with them.

I have some distant friends who met at like 17/35. Started dating at 18/36. Then got married at 20/38. Still together after 12+ years now. Mind is fuzzy on the exact numbers but they're solid. Also no kids though.

[zoobernut]

If it makes you feel any better this type of stuff was more socially acceptable 35 years ago, teen pregnancy was much more common, etc.

It was more socially acceptable back then AND even my parents knew it was not the greatest situation and have made comments about it. It is one of those "it worked out luckily for us but wouldn't recommend it for anyone else" type deals.

[Milkster]

I have some distant friends who met at like 17/35. Started dating at 18/36. Then got married at 20/38. Still together after 12+ years now. Mind is fuzzy on the exact numbers but they're solid. Also no kids though.

How does a 35 year old meet a 17 year old?

[Richybear]

on BG.
BlueGroomr

[Anoat]

I distinctly remember in the DVD commentary for the first pirates of the Caribbean movie, Johnny Depp saying there was a scene where Capt Jack and Elizabeth Swann were supposed to drunkenly kiss when stranded on the island together but Depp refused to take the scene that far because Keira Knightley was like barely 17 at the time of filming, so they ended up taking it out of the film.

At least she was like 19 when they filmed the sequel and has a make out scene lol

[Richybear]

Though in all seriousness, a 17 meeting a 35 year old could be a work thing. I've been in warehousing situations where you hire 17 year olds straight out of high school and there's people of all ages in there. Including the token lifer guy who had been around since 1984 type thing

[Forte]

can we recap this lesson please teacher

Which of the following relationships are acceptable?

42/15
45/18
50/23
16/40s
All of the above
None of the above

Call me crazy but 50/23, only because according to our laws, that's literally the only one that isn't weird rape shit. Yeah, people can be stupid at 23, but we as a society seem to have decided that 18/21 is when the training wheels come off on your ability to make horrible life altering decisions for yourself.

[Roranora]

a lenient teacher'll give you partial credit

[synistar]

Though in all seriousness, a 17 meeting a 35 year old could be a work thing. I've been in warehousing situations where you hire 17 year olds straight out of high school and there's people of all ages in there. Including the token lifer guy who had been around since 1984 type thing

Friends I mentioned met at the weekly Tabletop RP night (shitty GM, too many players at the table, it was more like a weekly gathering than a game night) so at least there was common interest from the start. Also both were anime weebs at the time.

[Forte]

a lenient teacher'll give you partial credit

I'm genuinely curious as to why that would be considered unacceptable. Is there an age at which you can date anyone older than you and it's fine? Yes, I've seen the funky math but when you get down to it, there has to be an age at which, if you wanna date a fucking 90 year old, and you're both consenting, who the fuck cares? Thinking otherwise is encroaching heavily on the "I don't like that gays have buttsex" idea.

[arus2001]

Similar to robbing the cradle, the notion of robbing the grave could apply for a significant age gap. I think pragmatically most of us realize we're not going to have much in common with people 20+ years our senior while in our 20s, ourselves. Exceptions to every rule, some folks just being more mature for their age, or whatever, but I'd probably concede the 23/50 route mainly if like they didn't know each other at all before dating. Frankly, I can't fault someone for gold digging if it's basically mutually agreed, too.

[Karbuncle]

Personally its hard to give an arbitrary number to anything but to me it boils down to what happens between two consenting adults, not matter how strange it might seem to me, is between them, and it ain't my business. Obviously assuming both met/become friends/started dating when of legal age and theres no grooming angle.

Farnsworth it up, rob the grave you grandpa fetish having crazies. I sincerely do not care. Lick the wrinkles.

[Roranora]

I'm genuinely curious as to why that would be considered unacceptable. Is there an age at which you can date anyone older than you and it's fine?

Fine? Probably not the best word but sure, around 27-28, which again has to do with cerebral development and a subjective moral compass more than legality, which we know gives us a different judgment.

Of course we have additional information with this 50/23 that it was also the 45/18. It's interesting that you didn't say this one was acceptable, so there is some barometer beyond our laws and our clunky concept of an 18 year-old adult.

[Andalusian girls]

I mean from the trial we knew he was fucked up in the head. But the way they worded this is weird. He and Amber got divorced when she was 31.

regardless of the verdict worst part of that trial was people coming out of it thinking Depp was some persecuted victim. dude is an absolute garbage person.

[Andalusian girls]

Fine? Probably not the best word but sure, around 27-28, which again has to do with cerebral development and a subjective moral compass more than legality, which we know gives us a different judgment.

Of course we have additional information with this 50/23 that it was also the 45/18. It's interesting that you didn't say this one was acceptable, so there is some barometer beyond our laws and our clunky concept of an 18 year-old adult.

you may not like it but society dictating that age is the moment your neural network becomes sophisticated enough that you can grab an M-16 and engage in state-sanctioned killing and/or be gangbanged on camera for money by twelve people two to three times your age but not quite developed enough to buy a beer or rent a car is peak civilization

[Roranora]

i thought it was french fries in a burrito

dude. found the best pupusas recently, those Salvadorans, i much prefer their cuisine to their treatment of women