Eternals (November 5, 2021)

[Gadritan]

Angelina Jolie still a smoke show.

Seriously. It’s got me at that point where I’m trying to figure out if I’m that old or she’s that ageless.

Someone ask one of the yutes.


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[Souj]

Planning on watching this tonight with the wife once the kid goes down. Honestly, I know it won’t be so bad, but I’m kind of feeling very Ugh about starting it up and spending 3 hours on it. Just goes to show that Disney’s really doing well with the MCU if people go watch a movie just because it’s MCU. Well, people have been doing that for decades with Star Wars, anyway, so it’s far from unprecedented.

[Souj]

Ok, not terrible. This really needed to be a show, not a movie, though. There's a lot to nitpick and nearly all of it was because of trying to cram everything into a movie runtime. Even my wife who hates when I mention nitpicks was bringing stuff up, the most egregious being

Spoiler: show

Sprite's motivation for turning on the group. You get one 3 second scene of her trying to illusion herself in a bar, which you don't know anything about the character at the time, and then Kingo just saying 'you have a crush on Ikaris,' a few minutes before her turn. She explains in more detail after the fact, but... it already happened at that point.

I won't make a list of grievousness. Shoulda been 8-10 hours long pretty much covers everything. My two questions though...

Spoiler: show

The Celestial dude says he created the Deviants. They had an accidental flaw that let them evolve. Why did he keep sending Deviants to seed planets without correcting the flaw? Did he send Deviants to every seed planet all at the exact same time at the very beginning? Because that raises even more questions.

Also, mind control guy, who's name I thought was Druid until I saw Druig in the subtitles. Why was he there if he couldn't use his power? Cersei's powers super useful for helping civilizations grow. Sprite's power good for entertainment, so i can make my mind accept its usefulness. Haphestus creating technology- Great. Minus the part where he could have given humanity miraculous tech that could have eliminated the cause of a lot of problems that would have let Earth's population explode way earlier far more peacefully ("war lets humanity develop technology at a greater pace", he says. Yeah, but if you gave them everything for free, it would have been a million times faster and with far less death.) Druig's powers are incredibly useful- but only if used directly against the prime directive of not interfering with human conflicts. Or am I missing something?

[Anoat]

Re: Druig pretty sure he is there to stop humans from attacking Eternals without hurting them, or making them forget something they weren’t supposed to see, etc

[Uzor]

And also manipulate humans to start wars, or broker peace, as needed

[Gadritan]

And also manipulate humans to start wars, or broker peace, as needed

Spoiler: show

I thought the scene with him having his horde simultaneously rip shots off at the deviant was pretty fucking cool too. The possibilities are endless.

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[Zealot]

Just watched this a second time and the complaints make even less sense to me now. Maybe it's too different from standard Marvel fare, but that's the Eternals in a nutshell.

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[Tyrath]

My only complaint was echoed earlier in here. Wish it was a D+ show with more time to flesh out characters.

[Xno Kappa]

Other than Thena and Gilgamesh this movie was hawt garbage.

The whole premise feels like a gigantic contradiction too. Eternals didn’t get involved with Thanos because they were ordered not to interact with human conflict, despite doing so everyday anyways?

Thanos’ plan absolutely ran contrary to their mission. Guide and build the human race to the point it’s enough to provide sustenance to birth a celestial. Losing half of that population absolutely should’ve been in their purview. Not only on Earth but in the entire universe too with the other Eternals factions.

The excuse was one of the weakest hand waving shit in the entire MCU. You were better off just saying the Snap reawakened their slumber earlier than usual to check up on the human race progress or some shit.

[Xno Kappa]

The little fat dude running around recording the whole thing was awesome too.

[AoE]

The little fat dude running around recording the whole thing was awesome too.

He was the best character in the movie. I need a friend like him.

[Zealot]

Other than Thena and Gilgamesh this movie was hawt garbage.

The whole premise feels like a gigantic contradiction too. Eternals didn’t get involved with Thanos because they were ordered not to interact with human conflict, despite doing so everyday anyways?

Thanos’ plan absolutely ran contrary to their mission. Guide and build the human race to the point it’s enough to provide sustenance to birth a celestial. Losing half of that population absolutely should’ve been in their purview. Not only on Earth but in the entire universe too with the other Eternals factions.

The excuse was one of the weakest hand waving shit in the entire MCU. You were better off just saying the Snap reawakened their slumber earlier than usual to check up on the human race progress or some shit.

Ehhhh...

Thanos was on Earth for like 5 minutes and supposedly only the Avengers knew about him and his goal, what were the Eternals supposed to do?

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[Xno Kappa]

Ehhhh...

Thanos was on Earth for like 5 minutes and supposedly only the Avengers knew about him and his goal, what were the Eternals supposed to do?

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Which seems even sillier since the movie strongly insinuates at the end there are Eternals factions all over the universe. And you know. The whole brother of Thanos at the end also being an Eternal lol.

If you want to make the argument they have zero interactions with one another that’s fair. But again, it just adds to the laziness of the hand waving with them being cool a crazed Titan is hopping from planet to planet destroying half their populations and directly impeding their mission from Arisherm.

[Xno Kappa]

Also, we’re gonna need a definition for “human conflict.”

Since apparently outside alien forces constantly attacking and terrorizing the humans on planet earth is also none of their business lol.

[Xno Kappa]

While we’re at it. The Eternals also have some knowledge of the happenings in the universe since they made mention of battling alongside Odin and chilling with a kid Thor.

Thor who had never been to Earth until his first movie when he was already a grown man.

Along with Eros making mention of hearing about Thena before ever meeting her.

[Anoat]

Thanos is pretty well known across the galaxy in the MCU (aside from Earth general population) before Infinity War, I’d find it very difficult to believe the Eternals and Celestials weren’t aware of what he was doing

[Anoat]

Ya know this all makes Ronan seem really dumb, this guy gets one Infinity Stone and thinks he can challenge Thanos, THIS GUY come on

[Koyangi]

They were/are only supposed to intervene in their conflicts if it involved a deviant, which Thanos was not.

[Fhloston]

I feel like Thanos actions went under the radar for god-like beings like the Celestials. I'm no scholar on their lore, but I feel like they're only focused on their specific goal and the deviants.

Also, every super powerful MCU hero going forward will have the "where were you for Thanos" issue. That's the least important factor to me so I'm personally fine with a quick one or two line write off on the subject.

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[Anoat]

They were/are only supposed to intervene in their conflicts if it involved a deviant, which Thanos was not.

Yes but like, literally halving the universe would seriously set back the plans to birth new Celestials so you think they would take exception